


Area M

by Andrea_ODown



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dark, Dark, F/M, Family, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-09 17:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 50,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1990872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andrea_ODown/pseuds/Andrea_ODown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Kraang have managed to create a decent clone of April and mutated New York City and its surrounding area, now called "Area M". After four years of travelling the world and working on a cure with other scientists, Donatello finally comes back. [Alternate Universe - canon up to "The Manhattan Project", but takes a totally different turn from then on]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coming Home

Donatello stood up from his crouching position. He shook off the dust from his coat and readjusted the straps of his messenger bag and his backpack, before he wrapped the scarf tighter around his neck, followed by a quick tap on the goggles he had pushed back on his head to make sure they were still there. And then for the first time since he had entered this area he took a look around. A real look where he could actually see, not only looking for cover and making sure to make no noise and check every now and then that he hadn’t been spotted. He was away far enough from the border patrols to not care about being spotted, and he had felt the urge to have a look around for quite some time now. He needed to see. Well, as much as someone could see in the darkness, but for Donatello that was enough.  
  
He leaned on his staff, letting his eyes wander over his surroundings, taking in what he could make out.  
The area was deserted. There was grass and trees and even a few flowers, but it just didn’t feel right. Some of the plants’ silhouettes made them look like as if they were from another dimension – which in a way – was true.  
  
With a sigh Donatello allowed his memories of that day take over, the day when the Kraang had terraformed New York city and the surrounding area within a 40 miles radius. That day. The Day, how they called it now.  
  
Kurtzman had informed them about a Kraang facility where he had thought they kept another clone of April, and Donatello and his brothers had decided to shut that place down. But when they had entered the facility, ready to blow it sky-high, they had been too late. The Kraang had already set up their machine to terraform the earth, using the clone’s DNA to do so. And the moment they had arrived, they had started it.  
  
Donatello could still feel the shock wave knocking him from his feet, he could still remember the silence following the explosion, this deadly silence, and then there had been this fog everywhere, containing these little droplets of mutagen. And after that, everything had sunken into total chaos.  
  
He barely remembered what they had done afterwards, he remembered a fight, though, he remembered the screams of New York’s inhabitants, he remembered the burning on his skin from the mutagen fog, but he had no idea what he had been thinking. All he had done had been reacting – getting out of there and back to the lair alive.  
  
It had taken him quite a while to figure out what had happened when they had been back at the lair. He knew now that this last clone of April had been different, different from those they had destroyed at TCRI, but still, it had only been a clone. And that was the reason the mutation of New York City had been unstable. Some people had been turned into mutants, some plants had been mutated, but it still wasn’t an environment the Kraang were able to survive in. On the contrary, this fog had killed a lot of them and destroyed their technology, forcing the remaining Kraang to retreat and hide. There had been rumors they were trying to reorganize now, but without their technology, without an ability to contact Dimension X there weren’t exactly seen as a threat. Chasing Kraang hadn’t been the Turtles’ top priority since. They had had more important things to do – like surviving.  
  
After the Day the government had declared New York City and its surrounding region to a prohibited area – first, because they weren’t sure how to deal with this epidemic, back when they had thought this had been caused by a virus, and after that when they had been sure that there was nothing to be done, they had sealed it off from the rest of the country because they weren’t able to get the situation under control. This was how “Area M” had been set up – “M” as in mutation.  
  
In the insecurity of the first months some rich and/or lucky ones had been able to get out. Donatello ranked himself among neither. If he would have had a choice he would never have left New York. He would have stayed back and fought, keeping the city in an as normal as possible state. But he hadn’t have a choice. He had had to leave.  
  
When he had realized there wasn’t much he could do and that he was stuck in finding a retromutagen, he had decided to seize the opportunity to be able to join other scientists and work together with them on a retromutagen. So he had contacted some scientists and told them that he had been a scientist himself before he had been turned into a turtle on the Day, but that he had some information on the mutagen. They hadn’t asked too many questions about his past, fortunately. Although he would have been able to tell them that all his personal data had been lost during the riots and that he had cared more about saving his data on mutagen. But they hadn’t asked about that. They had only been interested in his research on mutagen.  
  
So he had left New York City for what had been planned to be a one-year-leave. But in the end it had been four years. Four long years he had been separated from his family. When the communication technology had still been working in New York they had sent each other messages nearly every day, but then the electricity supply had gotten worse and worse, and in the end it could have taken weeks to hear back from his family. He had sent them a message he was coming home two weeks ago, but he didn’t know if they had received it yet. He wasn’t even sure if they were still staying at their lair or if they had moved. All he could do now was going to their old lair and hope they were still there.  
  
He looked into the direction where he knew New York City was. Four years ago, before the Day, it would have stood out a mile with its glittering lights in the dark, its illumination as bright as day, the city that never sleeps. But it was dark now, its light a distant dim glowing, pathetic as compared to its brightness of old days.  
  
Donatello had seen satellite pictures. He knew how dark the city was now at nights, what kind of creatures were roaming it in the darkness, what kind of people. New York City, the city that never sleeps, was sleeping now at nights. No, sleeping was wrong. Donatello could imagine the tension among New York’s inhabitants when night fell, when all that was important was surviving. No, New York wasn’t sleeping. It was wide awake at night, paralyzed by shock.  
  
Donatello took a deep breath. And even now that he knew that, he just hadn’t been able to stay away any longer. He and the other scientists had been working on a retromutagen for four years now. And they hadn’t been able to find a cure. They had used April’s DNA, going through the sequences again and again and again, but it just didn’t work. Maybe it was because it hadn’t been exactly April’s DNA the Kraang had used to mutate Area M, at least that was was Donnie was forcing himself to think. Maybe the answers he needed were waiting inside the city walls.  
  
It was the only thing that made it bearable for him to come back with empty hands because practically, he hadn’t failed. He was just still working on it.  
  
The grip around his staff tightened as he straightened up.  
  
“Okay, then,” he mumbled as he moved on, “it’s time to go home!”

* * *

Michelangelo was searching his way through the sewers’ tunnel. He hated it when he was on night duty and the alarm was set off. According to the records it only was a minor problem, so he didn’t have to call for his brothers. And most probably it had just been a raccoon or a rat that had set off the alarm. It had been like this the last few times. And never ever would he ask his brothers for backup again if he wasn’t sure he really needed their help. He had done that like three times and when it had turned out that it has only been a rat, they had made fun of him. So he wanted to be sure this time.  
  
Fun… They weren’t having much of it lately – or in the past four years. He had had to learn how the security system worked and how to read the records. He now was decent at it, but what would he do if he ever had the chance to play video games all night again! But electricity had been short all this time, and they couldn’t risk using it for video games or the TV. Their only way of communication was the radio. That was where they got the information from if they needed to wear face masks on a day when they went topside or not, depending on the wind conditions and the pollination from the plants in Central Park.  
  
Central Park had been turned into a jungle on the Day, getting hit by more of the mutagen fog than the rest of the city, a jungle full of mutated plants and mutants of all sorts. And after some time they had realized the pollen of the mutated plants made people mutate slowly, bit by bit. That’s why they had to wear face masks from time to time. Most of the people in New York City had a face mask handy, and those who hadn’t either tried only to go outside when it was safe or did everything to get a face mask. Michelangelo had seen people fight over face masks.  
  
Actually, he had seen people fighting over all kind of things – clothes, food, fire wood.  
  
He sighed. No, there hadn’t been much fun lately. And he was afraid there never would be.  
  
And with that thought he went into stealth mode as he got closer to the place where the alarm had been set off.  
  
And then he stopped, watching closely what was there in the tunnel in front of him, waiting for the right moment to strike. The shadowy figure there obviously was no rat or raccoon, but seemed to be a man, but Michelangelo was sure he could handle this one alone. He darted out of his cover, gaining speed as he ran for the shadowy figure. He practically crashed into it, pressing it against the wall.  
  
He wanted to ask this intruder what he was doing here, the question already waiting on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t have a chance to pronounce it, because at that exact moment the intruder spoke up.  
  
“Hello, Mikey,” a voice said, an all too familiar.  
  
Michelangelo drew back a few steps, his eyes widening in surprise.  
  
“Donnie?!” he asked disbelievingly.  
  
“The one and only,” the other mutant said and stepped into one of the dim stream of lights falling through the street grate above them. “By the way, what took you? I set off the alarm seven minutes ago. I thought you might have move…oof!”

The last word turned into a gasping sound as his brother wrapped his arms around him and hugged him so tightly that it felt like he was pressing all the air out of Donatello’s lungs.

* * *

“Guys, guys, guys!” Mikey called out as he entered the lair. “Guess what I found!”  
  
“Another raccoon, Mikey?” Raphael asked back as he turned away from the practice dummy and faced his brother while Leonardo who had been preparing their dinner in the kitchen entered the living room.  
  
“No!” Mikey replied and beamed at his brothers. “This!”  
  
And with that he stepped aside and thus revealed Donatello entering the lair.  
  
Leonardo’s and Raphael’s jaws dropped and their eyes widened.  
  
“Hi, guys!” Donnie greeted them with a wave of his hand.  
  
“I can’t believe it!” Leonardo called out and marched over to his brother to hug him. “You’re back!”  
  
“Sure am!” Donnie said as he hugged him back with a smile.  
  
When they let go, Donnie found his second oldest brother standing close to him. The hothead hesitated, not sure what he should do now, if hugging his long gone brother would make him lose some coolness points, but then he decided he didn’t care and roughly wrapped his arms around his brother. Donnie couldn’t help but chuckle silently as he hugged him back.  
When Raph let go, he immediately stepped a few steps back.  
  
“Didn’t think you’d ever show your face around here again,” he mumbled as he eyed up his brothers, the usual grumpy look back on his face as he folded his arms over his chest.  
  
“And still, I’m back,” Donnie replied with an insecure shrug.  
  
He took a moment to eye up his brothers. They had changed over the past four years! Michelangelo had grown and thus had left Raphael being the smallest turtle around. But their youngest brother had kept his chubby cheeks which still gave him that childish look.  
  
Raphael seemed to have spent even more for training, his body even more shaped by muscles now.  
  
Leonardo had grown as well and even though he still had well-developed muscles he looked more slender now.  
  
And they all had a more mature look on their faces, their eyes looking earnest and thoughtful, although there could still be some mischief detected in Mikey’s eyes, and this somehow relieved Donnie a bit. Although his brothers were grown-up and earnest, but they weren’t hopeless.  
  
And then he thought of how he must look like to his brothers in his clothes and luggage, his staff resting in the holder of his backpack. He wasn’t even wearing his mask. He still had it, of course – it was in his backpack – but it hadn’t fitted the “former human scientist”-appearance he had been going for. Neither had his staff, so he had told people it was just a walking staff. He had lost weight over the last years and hadn’t spent not as much time training as his brothers obviously had, so even if he still had some muscles, on the whole he was scrawnier than ever.  
  
“Where’s Master Splinter?” he finally asked.  
  
“Master Splinter is out to get some supplies. He won’t be back before morning,” Leo explained.  
  
“I see,” Donnie said. “And April?”  
  
The young woman had moved in with the turtles after the Day. They had decided it would be safer for her if she wouldn’t live alone. Her aunt had been out of town on a business trip at the Day. Donnie had checked on her when he had been out of Area M. and she was okay. He had told April via e-mail and it had made this whole situation a bit easier for her now that she knew her aunt was safe.  
  
“She is out to visit her fath...,” Leo started, but was cut off by a surprised outcry.  
  
“Donnie?!”  
  
Donnie turned around to set eyes on April standing lair’s entrance.  
  
“April!” he greeted as she passed through the turnstiles and ran over to the mutant turtle, wrapping her arms around him.  
With a smile Donnie hugged her back.  
  
“You’re back,” April mumbled as she pressed her face against his plastron.  
  
“I am,” Donnie replied.  
  
When April’s grip on him loosened a bit, he shoved her at arm’s length to be able to have a proper look at her. April had grown a bit, her whole appearance had become more mature, though she was still wearing her trademark outfit composed of her yellow shirt and her jeans shorts. This wasn’t the teenager he once had known, this was a woman. And just like his brothers the look on her face had turned more earnest now.  
  
This was what catastrophes did to fun-loving teenagers, Donnie thought – make them grow up fast, maybe too fast.  
  
“How have you been?” he asked April. “And how’s your father? Leo said you’ve visited him.”  
  
His eyes had been so fixed on April he hadn’t seen that his brothers had gestured at him to stop.  
  
April stiffened and she shot a hurtful look at Leo.  
  
“No, April, I didn’t say that!” Leo defended himself. “I was interrupted! I couldn’t finish the sentence!”  
  
April looked back at Donnie, tears glistening in her eyes as she shook of his hands and stormed out of the living room.  
  
“April!” Donnie called out and wanted to follow April, but Leo held him back.  
  
“I’m taking care of this,” he said and left for April’s room.  
  
Donnie looked at his two other brothers helplessly. Mikey had lowered his eyes uneasily, so he turned to Raph, hoping to get some answers. His brother tried to avoid his look for a moment, but then he gave in with a growl.  
  
“Her father died,” he said.  
  
“What?!”  
  
“You remember how we put a tracking device on Kirby?”  
  
Donnie nodded. Of course he remembered. It had been his idea, so April could keep better track of her father.  
  
“Well, thanks to that device April had soon found out which places a human turned into a mutant bat preferred. She checked on him every day on the tracking device’s records, and even visited his favorite places now and then. He seemed to get used to her again and didn’t take flight when she was near. So things were going pretty well,” Raph explained. “But about a year ago she realized the tracking device hadn’t been moving for a few days. She thought it would have fallen off like it had before. So she went there to get the tracking device back and then look for her father at his favorites places to put it back on on him. She sure wasn’t prepared for this.” Raph took a deep breath and lowered his eyes. “The tracking device hadn’t fallen off. It was right there where it belonged. Her father hadn’t moved because he was dead. We got there the same night to salvage the body. We don’t know what happened to him, but by the way how battered his body was we think that some mutant haters had caught hold of him.”  
  
Donnie lowered his eyes. He had heard of these mutant haters. They made the mutants responsible for what had happened to New York.  
  
“I see,” he mumbled.  
  
“She was visiting his grave today,” Mikey explained.  
  
With a determined look on his face Donnie left the living room. He needed to check on April.  
  
When he had reached her room, Leo was leaving it.  
  
“Is she better?” Donnie asked. “At least a bit, I mean.”  
  
Leo frowned at Donnie. “I guess, but Donnie, I don’t think that…”  
  
Donnie didn’t let him finish the sentence and entered April’s room.  
  
Leo just shook his head. What was it that people kept cutting off his sentences today? And with that he left for the living room again.

“April?” Donnie asked. He scanned the room and found her cowering on the floor near her bed. She had hugged her knees and was hiding her face. She didn’t look up when she spoke.  
  
“Please leave!” she said, her voice still sounding a bit tearful.  
  
Donnie hesitated for moment. He wanted to make her feel better, he wanted to be there for her, especially when he realized her body was shaken by another crying fit. He even took a step into her direction, but then he stopped. He realized that he just couldn’t force his comfort on her. That would make everything even worse.  
  
“Okay, if you really want me to, I am leaving,” he said then, but he didn’t move immediately to give her the chance to hold him back.  
  
“I really..want..you to!” April gasped out.  
  
“Okay,” Donnie said again, and then he turned around and left her room.

* * *

After telling his brothers that he needed to rest a bit, Donatello entered his room. When he looked around he realized that Master Splinter had kept his word. His sensei had said that his room would always be waiting for him, just like the way he had left it. And yes, his room looked exactly the way he had left it. He wondered how his family had been able to clean it as he realized that his belongings he had left behind back were on their usual places because the room actually looked pretty clean.  
  
He took his staff out of its holder on the backpack and placed it on the floor near his bead, before he put down his messenger bag and the backpack as well. He knelt down and opened the backpack, rummaging it for a moment before he took his mask out. With an earnest look he put it back on carefully. The cloth on his skin felt so familiar, so normal as if he had never taken off his mask in these four years.  
  
With a sigh he slid down on his bed on his carapace and crossed his arms behind his head.  
  
Yes, he was back home. He had waited four years now to be able to think that. Four long years his thoughts had always found their way back here, and finally he had been able to follow them. But why did he feel then as if he didn’t belong here anymore?


	2. Welcome Back!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie has to think about how to explain to his brothers why he has returned.

When Donnie blinked his eyes open the next morning, he was a bit confused. Where was the sunlight that usually woke him up in the morning and why were the noises reaching his ears so much different from what he was used to? Where was the twittering of birds? Where was the distant sound of cars?  
  
With a frown he sat up, rubbing his forehead. His frown grew even deeper when his fingers touched the fabric of his mask. And then he remembered. He had returned to the lair yesterday. He must have fallen asleep with his mask still on, and now as he looked down his body he realized he was still wearing his coat and scarf. Slowly, because his limbs were still numb he got up and stretched himself. Then he slipped out of his coat and removed his scarf and placed both on his bed. Then he stretched himself once more.  
  
He didn’t know why, but somehow he felt uneasy again. Something hindered him from leaving his room, something unnameable, waiting deep down inside him. He just couldn’t tell what it was. Fear? Maybe. He had been away for such a long time. It was just natural that he was a bit uneasy being back at the lair. So much had changed. What if he made mistakes? What should he do? Wander around the lair like nothing had happened, chatting with his brothers, doing his work, training? Heck, he didn’t even know if they had something planned for today, some mission or so.  
  
Well, there was only one way to find out.  
  
He straightened his shoulders and took a deep breath. And then he walked over to the door of his room and opened it.

* * *

Moments later he entered the kitchen, casually waving at his brothers who were gathered around the table.  
  
“Good morning, guys,” he greeted them, earning a chuckle from Mikey in response.  
  
“Morning?” the youngest turtle repeated.  
  
Donnie frowned at him.  
  
“It’s already afternoon, Sleeping Beauty!” Raph burst out, chuckling as well.  
  
“Oh, really?” Donnie sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Guess I was really tired. Plus, my biological clock is still attuned to sunlight.”  
  
“That’s okay,” Leo said. “You need to get used to the life here again.”  
  
“Thanks for understanding, Leo.”  
  
“You’re welcome, bro.” Leo smiled at his brother. “Have some breakfast, and then Master Splinter wants to see you.”  
  
“Master Splinter is back?” Donnie asked surprised.  
  
Leo nodded. “He came back this morning.”  
  
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”  
  
“Because sensei insisted to let you sleep,” Leo replied. “He’s waiting for you in the dojo. Just go to him when you’ve eaten.”  
  
He then turned to his two other brothers. “As for you two, get ready for our patrol. We’re leaving in ten minutes.”  
  
Raph and Mikey nodded, stood up and left the kitchen. Mikey waved at Donnie with a broad grin.  
  
“Later, Donnie!” he said cheerfully.  
  
Donnie waved back at him, but then lowered his eyes.  
  
Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, Leo’s hand.  
  
“Just acclimate yourself,” his oldest brother said. “You’ll join us on our patrols soon enough.”  
  
“Okay,” Donnie said and forced himself to smile, hoping strongly his brother wouldn’t realize it was a fake smile.  
If he really had realized, Leo carried it off well. He smiled back at Donnie, gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze and then turned to leave the kitchen as well.  
  
Donnie waited until Leo was out of earshot and then let out a sigh.  
  
Sure, he had known right from the day he had started his journey back home that he wouldn’t acclimate overnight and everything wouldn’t be back to normal within minutes. Okay, as normal as it could be, considering the life in New York now, but maybe like the way it had been before he had left. But somehow, it still made him feel sad that everything seemed so normal, yet unfamiliar to him. He knew there was no sunlight or twittering of birds down here, so why had he instinctively waited for that all day? Even after he had realized he was back home, his ears had still tried to pick up the sounds he had grown used to within the last four years.  
  
With another sigh he opened the fridge and took out a bottle of milk. He poured himself a glass.  
  
He carefully took a sip, letting the milk slowly run down his throat.  
  
Well, at least the taste of milk was something he was totally familiar with. The milk tasted just the same here as it did elsewhere. Okay, maybe not one-hundred percent, maybe there was a little tang to it that was different like it probably was with all the things here in Area M. But Donnie couldn’t care less. Sometimes ninety-nine percent had to be enough.  
  
He let out a satisfied sigh before he drank the rest of his milk in one gulp.

* * *

 

Donnie stood at the entrance of the dojo, unsure if he should enter now or maybe wait a little longer. He carefully peeked inside, finding his sensei kneeling in front of their family shrine, his eyes closed, being in deep trance. At least, that was what Donnie had thought.  
  
“Don’t you want to come in, Donatello?” Splinter suddenly asked without opening his eyes or moving, and the mutant turtle startled at the sound.  
  
“Hai, sensei!” he replied quickly, surprised by his own words. After all these years he still seemed to be used to reply to his sensei in this way.  
  
As he walked over to his sensei, Splinter stood up and Donnie had a chance to properly look at him. The mutant rat’s appearance had changed over the past years. Though Splinter still stood upright and Donnie could somehow sense the strength emanating from his sensei, the ability to stand there completely calm the one moment and put out a deadly strike the next without any hesitation if he had to, but still, something was different about him. There was grey on the top of his snout now, and his beard and his eyebrows seemed somehow scrubbier. And his movements were a bit slower than what Donnie had been used to.  
  
Donatello frowned at this. It had only been four years. Sensei hadn’t been old before he had left. He had only been in his forties. Measured in years, he still wasn’t old. But why did he seem old now?  
  
 _Well, I think the rat DNA is finally showing effect_ , Donnie thought sadly.  
  
But when he looked into his sensei’s eyes, he realized that at least they were just the same. There was this warm, loving glow in them, and when Splinter spread his arms to hug his second youngest son, Donnie fought hard to blink away the tears that were welling in his eyes.  
  
He flung his arms around his sensei, and when Splinter wrapped his arms around him, Donnie felt safe for the first time that day.  
  
“Welcome back, my son,” Splinter said warmly.  
  
“Thank you, sensei,” Donnie replied, giving up his fight against the tears and let them run down his cheeks.  
  
But it felt like something was still missing, and finally Donnie voiced the word he had missed to say in four years now.  
  
“Father,” he sobbed.

* * *

After seeing Splinter, Donnie was on his way to his lab. His sensei had asked him barely any questions, just one, to be honest, which in a way had surprised him.  
  
Mikey had practically bombarded him with questions yesterday evening, and so had Raph, and even Leo had asked more questions than was usual for his calm and prudent self. So somehow Donnie had thought sensei would ask him some questions as well. But he was talking about Splinter here, and Splinter wouldn’t be Splinter if the one question he had asked had caught Donnie off guard. Sure, he had thought of that question, he had thought of his answer, but he had been afraid of this question all along, so finally being asked exactly this question had startled him.  
  
 _Why are you back, Donatello?_  
  
He had stammered something about his family needing him and having missed them, and sensei had accepted it, but Donnie was pretty sure that Splinter knew there was more to it. He just hadn’t felt it was the right time to ask Donatello about it.  
 _Why_ was he back? Was it because he had failed to find a retromutagen? Was it because he hadn’t been able to bear it any longer to be separated from his family? Was it because he thought the answers to still find a retromutagen were waiting for him here in Area M?  
  
He wasn’t sure. But he knew he needed to find the right words when he was going to tell his family about his failure tonight. They were waiting for answers. But he needed to be prepared. And the best place to think was his lab. When he had been working with other scientists in Washington and New Delhi he had always insisted to have his own lab, his own shelter. And it had helped him many times when he had been stuck.  
  
So what was more obvious than to go to his lab when there was something important he had to think about?  
  
Donnie slid the door to his lab open, expecting to find it like he had left it four years ago, just like his room had been the way he had left it. And so he wasn’t prepared to find his lab look completely different.  
  
His eyes widened as he took in the sight of the rearranged furniture, the new gadgets, all the screens blinking, and he couldn’t prevent his jaw from dropping.  
  
He didn’t even realize the young red-haired woman in the back of the lab who had been checking the readings of the security system on one of the screens, but had turned to face him when he had opened the door.  
  
April frowned at the sight of him. He seemed completely dumbfounded, and even after a few moments he still hadn’t moved. So she decided it was time to do something. She carefully approached him.  
  
“Donnie?” she asked gently. “Are you okay?”  
  
The mutant turtle just turned his head into her direction, an undefinable sound escaping his still open mouth, and April wasn’t so sure if he actually did see her.  
  
“Donnie?” she asked again, as she moved a little closer.  
  
The look in his eyes changed from something she couldn’t quite name, but if she had to decide would go for “distant”, and something like recognition appeared in them, as he blinked a few times and then finally closed his mouth with a snap.  
  
“I…I…am fine,” he managed to say.  
  
“You sure?” April asked. “You look so…uhm…shocked.”  
  
“I guess I _am_ shocked,” Donnie replied as he turned his eyes away from April and scanned the lab again. “It has changed!”  
  
“Yeah, we needed to tighten security,” April explained. “Your security system was working pretty well, but we had to add one or two things and make sure the new gadgets won’t need too much power.”  
  
“One or two things?” Donnie repeated as he set eyes on the hammocks and the folding bed in the back of the lab.  
  
April turned her head to follow his gaze.  
  
“Oh, that!” she said. “That’s because we turned the lab into our panic room. We can practically seal ourselves off here when we have to. That’s why the hammocks and the bed are there. Then there are our stocks of tinned food over there in the cupboard. And back there are the canisters of clean water. Not to forget the flashlights evenly spread in here. So when there is another total blackout, we are prepared.”  
  
April tried her best to make her voice sound secure and self-confident, she even put on a smile, although deep inside her, the fear of another total blackout started to build inside her, but April tried to ignore it. She remembered all too well what had happened during the last blackout or rather: what could have happened, but she didn’t want to think of that again, so she did her best to continue smiling.  
  
“I see,” Donnie replied with a frown, and when he turned to face April again, his frown even deepened as if he had realized the smile on her face wasn’t totally true. But he didn’t say anything.  
  
They stood there in silence for a while.  
  
“I’m done here anyway,” April finally said. “So if you want to have a look around, just go ahead.”  
  
And with that she turned to leave the lab, but Donnie’s hand on her shoulder held her back.  
  
“April,” he said quickly. “I am sorry.”  
  
The young woman looked at him, a surprised look on her face.  
  
“About yesterday,” Donnie explained. “And…your father.”  
  
April turned her head away and lowered her eyes.  
  
“It’s okay,” she said although Donnie could feel her body wince. Without looking at him she placed her hand on his own, giving it a quick squeeze before she shoved it off her shoulder. “You couldn’t have known.”  
  
And with that she left the lab. She didn’t even look at him when she slid the door closed.  
  
Donnie watched her leave. He fought the urge to just hug her and tell her that everything was going to be alright, but given their situation, the place they lived in, he was sure it would be a lie. He had never lied to April before, and he didn’t plan on starting now. He wished so much that he could make her feel better, that he could take her pain away.  
  
But there was nothing he could do except from being there when she needed him, something he hadn’t been able to do the past four years. But he would be there now, now and forever – if she let him.  
  
His feelings for April, although they had changed over the years, were still strong. First there had been his crush on her which then had turned into something deeper over time. He had always hoped she would love him back one day, but on his four year-long journey he had realized that April would never see in him what he would like her to see. She saw him as her friend, her brother maybe, but that was all he would ever get.  
  
And although he had tried to avoid this thought at the beginning, he one day had given in and admitted that it was true.  
Sure, he still was in love with her and maybe that would never change, but he knew now that being her friend was something he could live with. That wasn’t nothing. Actually, it was a lot, maybe more he could ever hope to get from a woman, but definitely all he would ever get from April. And he had finally accepted it. And after that he had realized that the twinge in his heart whenever he thought of his one-sided love had become less and less intense, until it had turned into something nearly unnoticeable now, and maybe one day it would disappear completely.  
  
With a sigh he turned to his old work table which was now moved a bit more to the back of the lab and sat down on the tabletop.  
  
He could think about April later. Right now, he needed to think of what he was going to tell his family about his return tonight.

* * *

At the evening of the same day they had all gathered in the living room. Splinter, April, Leo, and Raph were seated on the couch while Mikey had preferred to sit down on the floor, his back leaning against April’s legs. When he had sat down like that and had looked back over his shoulder to smile at April, the young woman had patted his head gently to show him that it was okay.  
  
But now all their eyes were set on Donnie standing in front of them.  
  
The purple-masked turtle had gone over his little speech again and again in his head, learning every word by heart, but now that he found himself the center of attention, he couldn’t help but getting nervous. He felt the urge to close his eyes and let out a deep breath, but he decided against it. He had decided to go for self-confident speaker, and closed eyes and a deep breath wouldn’t quite fit this scenario.  
  
“Okay, “ he then started, “you all have been wondering why I have returned.”  
  
“Not really,” Mikey burst out, pointing at Donnie with a broad grin on his face. “You missed us, right?”  
  
“Of course I missed you!” Donnie said, mentally rolling his eyes. That was one thing he had forgotten about completely. Speeches never turned out the way they were planned when Mikey was around. “But that’s not the reason I’ve returned.”  
  
“Oh.” Mikey’s grin turned into a sad look as he lowered his eyes.  
  
“I…I mean, not the _only_ reason,” Donnie corrected his words quickly which made Mikey look at him with a smile again. “But the main…I mean the other reason is that I and all the other scientists are somehow stuck in finding a retromutagen. We’ve tried so many things, but all the substances we have been able to come up with, don’t work. We onetime thought we had managed to create a stable version of retromutagen, but all it had done was slowing down the mutating process. It still is a start, though, and it will help some people that are in jeopardy of getting mutated due to the pollen from the plants in Central Park, but that was all we managed to produce. One of my co-workers has initiated to produce large amounts of what we call of Retromutagen Attempt Number 468 or ‘468’ for short and send some relief supplies here. But as for a real cure, it has turned out that April’s DNA we have been working with and the mutagen that has mutated Area M just don’t fit completely, so all our retromutagen attempts have been unstable.”  
  
He paused for a moment, looking at his family which Raph took advantage of to speak up.  
  
“Is that a nice way of saying that you’ve failed?” he asked.  
  
“I am not finished yet!” Donnie said angrily.  
  
“But…ouch!”  
  
Raph rubbed the back of his head where Splinter’s walking stick had hit him.  
  
“Let your brother finish what he has to say,” Splinter said strictly, earning a “Hai, sensei!” from Raph before he turned to Donnie again, beckoning him to continue.  
  
Donnie choked a chuckle. It was good to see that some things would never change.  
  
“I think it has something to do with the fact that the Kraang mutated Area M with the help of one of April’s clones,” he continued his speech. “And a clone is never one-hundred percent identical with the original. So I think that’s the reason why April’s DNA didn’t work the way we thought it would. And that’s the reason why I have returned. I thought that maybe I can find some DNA that will help me create a retromutagen. The chances are thin, I know that. We have no idea what happened to that clone, if it died or left the city, if it still is around here somewhere or if we can find some suitable DNA-samples where the Kraang have started the mutation process, but it is our only chance.” Donnie paused for a moment to look at each of his brothers, at April and Splinter. “And I need your help here,” he said then.  
  
Leo exchanged looks with the others before he turned to Donnie again.  
  
“You can count on us, Donnie,” he said with a determined nod.  
  
“Thank you, guys!” Donnie replied. “I’ll start my work tomorrow. That’s all I have for today.”  
  
The others got to their feet, Splinter needing a bit more time for that than Donnie had ever seen before which made the mutant turtle frown again. It confirmed what he had thought about his sensei suffering from the effects of the rat DNA.  
  
But when Mikey passed him, his youngest brother stopped, looking at Donnie with a big smile on his face.  
  
“You know what, Donnie?” Mikey said. “I still think you came back because you missed us.”  
  
“You know what, Mikey?” Donnie replied with a warm smile. “Maybe you’re right.”


	3. Old Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some old “friends” make their appearance.

"How long do I have to keep this up?" Mikey asked, his voice sounding a bit exhausted from pedaling on the ergometer that had been set up in the living room.  
  
"Just until the battery is fully charged," Leo explained. "We need more power now that Donnie is upgrading our equipment."  
  
"I'm getting tired!" Mikey complained. "When are we going to rotate?"  
  
"In half an hour," Leo replied.  
  
"You said that half an hour ago!"  
  
Mikey pouted, but kept pedaling.  
  
"It's okay, Mikey," Donnie said from inside his lab. "You're almost done."  
  
"Okay," Mikey replied. "But for the record, I still think that's unfair!"  
  
Donnie couldn't help, but chuckle silently. It was so nice to hear that some things never changed. His brothers – and probably he as well – were still foisting off some of their duties on Mikey when they had the chance, and Mikey, although he kept complaining, did them nonetheless. Although he seemed to complain more often now, which meant that he now got it more often when his brothers tricked him into doing something they were supposed to do themselves.  
  
Three days had passed and as Donnie had promised he had started continuing his work. He actually hadn't reached the real work yet, but that was because he had to make his lab an appropriate workplace again. He needed a properly working computer and stable internet to be able to communicate with his scientist friend in New Delhi. And to set this kind of things up was a challenge here in Area M, a challenge he was sure he could master, but still a challenge, even for him. There were still so many things missing, and he had no idea when he would be able to finally start working on a retromutagen. He first needed his lab back.  
  
This was what had kept him busy the last days.  
  
As for himself he felt a bit better now. He still wasn't sure how he would fit in here after all these years, but at least a few things didn't feel as unfamiliar as they had when he had arrived here.  
  
"Just five more minutes, Mikey!" he called out to his youngest brother.  
  
"You can do it, Mikey!" Leo cheered Mikey on, maybe to make up for the fact that he had been able to duck out of his ergometer-duty today. "Final spurt!"  
  
And then Donnie could hear his brother call out his familiar "Booyakasha!", and it was this moment he finally realized he was back home for good. He bit down his lip hard to prevent himself from bursting into tears.  
  
 _Booyakasha…_ He had never been very fond of this word Mikey had made up, but now he realized that he really had missed it all these years.  
  
He took a few deep breaths and blinked away his tears, and when this didn't seem to work he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, but that didn't work as good as he had thought because one single tear had fought its way out of his eye and was now running down his cheek.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Master," the young man shivering on his knees said, "but they came out of nowhere! We didn't stand a chance!"  
  
"Silence!" the creature at the top of the stairs, sitting on his throne, called out. "Enough of this! I know what they are capable of, but this was the second time you were ambushed and a one week's supply of Shark Tooth had been stolen! You know I tolerate three failures, so you have only one more chance to get this right. If you are defeated one more time, you know what is going to happen to you."  
  
"Yes, Master!" the young man replied, his voice shaking from fear.  
  
"And now away with you!"  
  
The young man stumbled to his feet and hasted out of the hall.  
  
The creature leaned back a bit, his dark features nearly invisible in the dim hall, only lightened up a bit by the moonlight, and he could have hidden here easily, like he had done so many times before when it was time to punish one of his henchmen for disobeying or failing. He loved being one with the darkness, sneaking up on his prey, when they tried to get away, thinking they were fleeing from him, only to realize way too late that they had been running directly into his claws, stumbling backwards when they saw his glowing eyes watching them from nearby.  
  
He chuckled at his memories. It was always so much fun.  
  
He lifted one of his boney hands, examining his claws. It was about time these claws met some flesh again, ripping it to pieces. The sound when claws met flesh was one of his favorite sounds in the world. And now that the mutation had even enhanced his hearing ability, he could enjoy it even more.  
  
He felt a bit of disappointment when he thought that he still had to wait some time until he could punish one of his henchmen. Times were tough, and good followers weren't so easy to find. Sure, you could always have the idiots to follow you, and if you didn't ask too much of them, they were okay, but sometimes you needed people with a brain, a little, at least.  
  
But he knew this young man who had already failed twice. It wouldn't take long until he failed again. He just needed to fight back his blood thirst a little longer.  
  
And with that thought Rahzar got up to his feet. He stretched his slender body, and for the hundredth time he thanked fate for his second mutation. He had hated being Dogpound, but now that he was Rahzar, he couldn't care less about his mutation. He had even accepted this name that stupid turtle in orange had given him. He wasn't sure, why, but he somehow liked the ring of it.  
  
 _Rahzar…_ It sounded dangerous, grim, deadly – all the qualities he possessed now.  
  
He stretched one more time and then walked over to the hall's entry. The two Foot ninjas standing there immediately opened the door and let him pass.  
  
 _Now_ , Rahzar thought, _it's time to visit an old friend._

* * *

Rahzar had just entered the aisle leading to his old friend's room, but he could already hear the laughter.  
  
He rolled his eyes. He really had to think about this lady visitors. It sure was getting annoying.  
  
He knocked at the door extra loudly, and the laughing suddenly stopped.  
  
"Come in!" an angry voice in a Spanish accent said, and Rahzar opened the door and entered the room.  
  
He looked around and then set eyes on the two young women lounging around on the couch together with the mutant that had demanded their attention the whole day now – Xever.  
  
Rahzar gave both the women a stare and they immediately got up, but Xever didn't miss the chance to give them both a slap on the booty before they scampered out of the room.  
  
He waited till they were out of earshot before he turned to Rahzar.  
  
"What do you want, Bradford?" he asked annoyed. "Haven't I just given…" He stopped mid-sentence and gasped for air.  
  
He quickly reached for the bottle of water standing on the coffee table next to the couch, but then angrily chucked it away when he realized it was empty. He slid down from the couch and crawled over to the indoor pool that took up half of the room, dragging his legless body over the floor.  
  
"Been…out of water…for…too long," he panted when he had nearly reached the pool edge. He was just inches away from the water, but it looked like he wouldn't make it, as he slumped down completely.  
  
Rahzar just rolled his eyes and then marched over to the fish mutant and kicked him into the water with an annoyed growl.  
Xever hit the water with a splash, but he couldn't care less. He opened his mouth wide as soon as he was under water taking what would be called a deep breath if he wouldn't have been under water.  
  
When he broke the surface again and swam over to the pool edge, he let out a sigh.  
  
"Now, that's better," he mumbled.  
  
"Wouldn't it be easier for you to stay in there all the time?" Rahzar asked.  
  
"Sure," Xever replied with a shrug. "But the ladies prefer the couch since you refuse to get this pool heated."  
  
"I am already granting you more than enough privileges if you keep in mind that you can't walk nor fight," the dog mutant grumbled. "You're lucky you are of some use for me."  
  
"No, you _need_ me," Xever said. "Big difference. So you better keep me entertained as long as you need my precious venom to make your fancy little drugs."  
  
"I can always seal you away in a water basin and only get you out to milk the venom out of you whenever I need it," Rahzar said in a warning voice. "I just need you to be _alive_ , I don't need you to be _happy_."  
  
Xever chuckled. "Can you guarantee that my venom will be as good as it is now if I am just alive and not happy?"  
  
Rahzar answered with a snarl.  
  
"See?" Xever smirked. "Then you better keep me entertained. And now tell me, Bradford, what do you need?"  
  
"Venom, of course!" Rahzar burst out. "This week's shipment had been stolen!"  
  
"Yeah, I thought so," Xever said matter-of-factly as he looked down on his one hand and examined his fingers before he gazed at Rahzar again, his eyes glistening warningly. "And this is why you have to keep me entertained."

* * *

"What's this all about, Leo?" Donnie asked as he followed the Turtles' leader through the sewers' tunnels.  
  
"You'll see," Leo said and led Donnie into one tunnel before he stopped in front of an iron door.  
  
Leo pulled out a key that had been tucked under his belt and unlocked the door. The heavy door creaked loudly as it was pushed open. Leo reached for the light switch next to the door.  
  
Donnie frowned as the lights went on with a flicker and followed Leo inside.  
  
"We think the subway personnel used this to lock away their expensive equipment, but it was empty when we found this room," Leo explained. "They probably took it to sell it, back when money was worth something."  
  
"Okay." Donnie looked around the room, letting his eyes wander over all the boxes that had been stashed in there. He walked over to one of the boxes, knelt down in front of it and opened it, his frown even deepening as he looked at the pills, packed in little plastic bags, the box contained. "What is this stuff?"  
  
"It's called 'Shark Tooth'," Leo said. "A drug the Foot and Purple Dragons use to keep their supremacy on the streets. Whenever we get knowledge of a new shipment we try to catch it. We were successful yesterday." Leo sighed. "The more of this witches' brew is withdrawn from circulation, the better."  
  
"What are they made of?" Donnie asked as he took one of the little plastic bags to examine the pills.  
  
"We don't know," Leo replied. "April wanted to analyze it back when we had no power failures and all of the equipment in your lab was still working, but as you know this didn't last long, and we were pretty busy back then. And April isn't you. She did great on the security system and she still is getting better, but she is no scientist." Leo shrugged. "Hope that doesn't sound unfair. We really owe her a lot."  
  
"I won't tell her, no worries," Donnie said. "And once my lab is back in its old state and I've been able to set up a working electricity network with the shipment of equipment from my friend from New Delhi, I'll try to analyze this stuff. Maybe we can use some of its ingredients for medicine or something like that."  
  
Leo nodded. "That's what I had in mind." But then he frowned. "You sure your friend can send you the promised equipment?"  
"I hope so," Donnie replied with a shrug. "In the meantime we have to use the ergometer."  
  
"You mean _Mikey_ has to use it, right?" Leo grinned.  
  
Donnie chuckled. "You and Raph can't stop letting Mikey do your chores, right?"  
  
Leo laughed. "Well, some things never change."  
  
"True," Donnie replied. "And I'm glad about it."  
  
"Yeah," Leo said with a smile. "Me too."  
  
They were silent for a few moments, but then Leo spoke up again, "We better get back now. We await Casey for his monthly visit today or tomorrow, and I don't want to miss him when he arrives."  
  
Donnie just nodded as he got back to his feet.  
  
Casey had moved to the surrounding area of the city some months after the Day together with his father and his little sister, because it was a little less dangerous out there. From what his brothers had told him in e-mails, Casey and his family had set up a farm and were now raising crops. Surprisingly for all of them, the surrounding area had turned out to be fertile and the crops eatable. Some people had farms now, coming to the city now and then and trading food for other useful things. And of what Donnie had learnt today these drugs seemed to be one medium of exchange. He choked a sigh as he followed Leo back to the lair. This city had changed so much. But what had he been expecting? This wasn't New York any longer. It was Area M.

* * *

They had just entered the lair, when they heard a voice behind them.  
  
"Now, look at that," someone who sounded really familiar to Donnie said. "If that isn't my old friend Donatello! Now, that's what I call a welcoming committee!"  
  
Donnie turned around and set eyes on Casey Jones. He quickly scanned the young man he once had a lot of problems with. But after the incident with the Kraathatrogons, the alien worms from Dimension X, they had buried the hatchet, and had gotten along pretty well from then on. And it somehow had made him feel a little bit better when he had heard that Casey and his family now lived in a place where it was a bit safer than in New York.  
  
For some time Donnie had even hoped his brothers, his sensei, and April would follow Casey's lead and move to the surrounding area as well, but he had soon realized that this had been vain hope. His brothers would never leave the city. They somehow felt responsible for what had happened to the city, and they now had this mission to perform damage control, at least a bit.  
  
He wandered over to Casey, eyeing him up. Casey's face was weather-beaten, but he still was as lanky as Donnie remembered him. Casey had a really big backpack on his back, but his outfit was the same he had worn years ago, although it seemed well-worn now. And Donnie had to choke a chuckle when he saw that Casey still had his hockey stick with him which was now attached to his backpack. Only Casey's mask was missing which was a bit unusual, but Donnie didn't really care when Casey opened his arms and the two hugged.  
  
"Good to see you're okay, Donnie," Casey said.  
  
"Same," Donnie said with a smile.  
  
When they let go of each other, Leo walked over to Casey to give him a welcome hug as well.  
  
When they were done, Leo turned into the direction of the aisle that led to the dojo and their rooms and called for his brothers.  
  
"Guys! Casey is here!"  
  
There was a rumbling to be heard and moments later Raph darted into the room!  
  
"Casey!" he called out.  
  
"Raph!" Casey replied, opening his arms, but Raph had so much speed and literally crashed into Casey, tackling his friend to the ground.  
  
"Ouch!" Casey uttered, but then they both started laughing and Raph got back to his feet.  
  
But Casey couldn't get up because the weight of his backpack kept him on the ground.  
  
"Geez, like a turtle on its back," Casey said as he tried to get to his feet, struggling while doing so.  
  
Raph just rolled his eyes as he held out his hand. Casey seized it and let Raph help him to his feet. The mutant looked at him with a furrowed brow.  
  
"What?" Casey asked, but then laughed insecurely. "Oh, yeah, sure. No offense!"  
  
"None taken," Raph said with a grin as he patted his human friend on the shoulder.  
  
"Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!" Mikey shouted when he entered the living room in the same moment Casey was back on his feet. Raph jumped to the side just in time before it was Mikey's turn to crash into Casey and tackle him to the ground.  
  
Casey just laughed and hugged Mikey back as the youngest turtle flung his arms around his neck.  
  
"You guys are making this a habit, right?" Casey asked when Mikey helped him up. "You're lucky I didn't bring eggs!"  
  
He looked over to the aisle that led to the dojo where Splinter and April were standing. The mutant rat gave Casey a welcoming nod, and Casey nodded in return, but then Splinter turned around and went back to the dojo. Casey still was a bit afraid of rats, although it has gotten much better, but he and Splinter had agreed on not pushing Casey's luck.  
  
But then he looked at April. The young woman returned his look with a smile and then went over to him. They hugged, and Donnie couldn't help, but lower his eyes. After all this time he still couldn't watch them hug. When he heard them move again he looked back up at them.  
  
They looked into each other's eyes for a moment and April gently touched Casey's arm which gave Donnie's heart a twinge.  
  
 _You'll never learn, Donnie, huh?_ , the mutant turtle thought, mentally slapping himself for still feeling hurt when April and Casey hugged. Why couldn't he just let this matter go?  
  
But his thoughts were interrupted when Casey spoke up.  
  
"Now, let's see what I have in my little backpack for you, shall we?" Casey said to the others.  
  
"Did you bring pizza?" Mikey asked immediately.  
  
"Mikey, you know there aren't any pizza trees on my farm, don't you?"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because pizza trees don't exist."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Casey just sighed as he placed a hand on Mikey's shoulder, guiding him to the kitchen. "But let's see if we can whip up something pizza-like from what I have in my backpack."  
  
"Yay!" Mikey called out gleefully as he punched the air.


	4. A Kunoichi's Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As much as Karai has tried to live an as normal life as possible in Area M, she never was able to give up on being a kunoichi completely.

_"Your time as a leader is over, Karai," Rahzar said, the amusement clearly hearable in his voice as the kunoichi, whose hands he was holding in a tight grip above her head, kept struggling and trying to kick him although they both knew it was of no use. "It's time for you to step down."_

_"You gotta kill me first!" Karai spat._

_Rahzar chuckled. "I was so hoping you were gonna say that!"_

_And with that his free hand moved to her armor, tearing the metal plates apart as if they were made of papier-mâché until the bits of her armor landed on the ground with a clank._

_And then he moved his hand back to her body, his claws moving over the black fabric of her jumpsuit almost gently, before he let his claws sink into the fabric, slowly pushing them deeper until they were digging into the flesh of her body._

Karai awoke with a start. Her one hand immediately moved to her belly where she could still feel the ridged, ugly scars under the fabric of her long-sleeved nightshirt.

In an attempt to calm down her pounding heart she looked around the room, trying to confess herself that this had just been a nightmare. Again.

Karai looked over to the window and realized it was dawning anyway. She could just as well get up then. This was in any case better than trying to fall asleep again and take the risk of having another nightmare.

And with that thought she pushed the blankets aside, got up and scuffled to the bathroom. Her hand moved to the faucet. If she was lucky, today, there would be water. She turned it on, and with a gurgling sound the water started running.

Karai smiled before she splashed her face with a few handfuls of water. At least a little bit of luck seemed to come her way. Better than nothing.

She then lifted her head, dried her face with the sleeve of her nightshirt and went back into the main room after that. For a moment she thought about turning on the lights in the living room, but then she decided to better not push her luck. So she went over to the window and pulled the curtains aside. It was still this slight morning light before sunrise which made everything look so pale. She opened the window and took a deep breath of fresh air. Well, as fresh as the air could be here in Area M. And wearing no face mask was okay at this early hour, although Karai remembered that there hadn't been any warnings about mutated pollination today. So this was the freshest air Area M had to offer.

Karai took another deep breath and then walked over to her bedside table and got a little pocket mirror out of the drawer together with a little piece of black eyeliner. This eyeliner was the only piece of make-up she had been able to keep over all these years. No-one really cared about proper make-up here. But for someone who had really loved her make-up she had at least tried to keep a little bit of it up. And when she had found this piece of eyeliner on the streets it really had made her day.

So she sat down on the floor and looked into the mirror. The mirror showed her a pale, thin face. Her hair had grown longer now and was falling down her back to her shoulder blades. And it was all black. Dying the hair at the back of her head blonde had become too difficult in Area M, because hair dye had become really, really short. So she had dropped it one day. Nothing was left from the fancy haircut she had worn four years ago. But she still had bangs, but now cut them herself with the kitchen scissors when she had the feeling they had grown too long. And she kept the strands before her ears the same length they had been when she had still worn her hair short. So this was the closest she could look now to what she had looked four years ago. Well, except for one.

She moved the kajal to her one eye and encircled it with black, then the other as well, and then she examined the result in the mirror again.

For a moment an image of the old Karai flashed in the mirror, the Karai with the stunning make-up and the awesome haircut.

With a sigh Karai squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and then looked into the mirror again that now showed her real face.

A slight smile appeared on her face when she did so. Well, _this_ was the closest she could look to the Karai from four years ago, and it was something she could live with.

* * *

It was afternoon when Karai left the apartment building, wearing jeans, a black longsleeve, boots, and a leather jacket that was at least three sizes too big, but who cared? Clothes had to keep you warm, not make you look beautiful here in Area M.  
  
Karai turned into a side street and entered a run-down, stuffy pub, the cigarette smoke blowing into her direction when she opened the door took her breath away for a moment, but she recovered almost immediately and went over to the counter. She climbed a bar chair and looked at the bulky bartender.

"The usual, Harmony?" the bartender asked, and Karai answered with a nod.

"Do I need to ask you if you can pay?" he asked with a raised brow, and Karai took a white pill out of her pocket and shoved it over to him. It was one of these Shark Tooth-pills Karai had mugged from one Purple Dragon-dealer two days ago. In consideration of how many of these pills the Purple Dragon had had with him, she would be flush for the next days, but this didn't mean she would sit around lazily. She would need a new job sooner or later, if not for the payment, then for killing time.

So when the bartender placed her glass of booze in front of her, Karai took a quick sip and turned to him again.

"You got anything you want Mr. S to know, Frank?" she asked.

Frank leaned forward a bit and lowered his voice.

"Well, I _heard_ that Gonzales has problems with one of his junk dealers," Frank explained. "It's the one with the 'Second Chance'-shop. I heard he refuses to pay his dues and that Gonzales would pay if someone taught that guy a lesson."

"And what kind of lesson have you heard he has in mind?" Karai asked matter-of-factly. "One where he could still pay his dues or something more permanent?"

"I heard Gonzales would like to settle for the still paying-option."

Karai nodded. "I'll see what Mr. S says to this little story of yours," she said. "And if he agrees you might hear an interesting story of what has happened to that junk dealer tomorrow."

"You have an idea what Mr. S would do to him?"

Karai shrugged. "You know, Mr. S and I have this division of work," she explained and downed the rest of her drink in one gulp. "I do the legwork, he does the dirty work."

"This guy sure is a mystery," Frank declared. "No-one has ever seen him, even those of his victims who are still alive can't tell anything about him. If he wouldn't do such awesome work, I would doubt he exists."

Karai looked at the bartender with a smirk. "Well, you know, Frank," she said as she got up from the bar chair, "'S' could stand for shadow."

"And no-one knows for sure, huh?" Frank asked.

Karai shrugged. "I guess." And with that she left the pub.

* * *

At the same time another kunoichi was sitting on her bed and reading a book. They had a free afternoon and she had finished checking the security system readings half an hour ago.

Raph, Leo, and Mikey had left to help Casey with selling his groceries. Times were tough in Area M, and getting mugged was an all-time-possibility, especially when you had food with you. So having three ninja turtles as your bodyguards wasn't a bad idea.

They had asked April to join them as well, but after the party that usually followed Casey's arrival when they had finished dinner with the food he had brought, April was glad to have a little peace and quiet.

She knew that Donnie was in the dojo right now, together with Splinter, catching up on his training. The purple-masked turtle refused to let anyone else than Splinter see how much he had rusted over the years. He still was a deadly, highly trained ninja. After all, he had trained in the past years. He just wasn't in as good shape as his brothers were. And April knew this was embarrassing for him.

Under normal circumstances she would have comforted him, but things were a bit tense between them. She still wasn't sure where that anger deep inside her whenever he was near really came from, and she sure didn't want to find out. She just hoped it would fade away the more she got used to having Donnie around again. But for now, she needed a bit distance.  
It was that moment when there was a silent knock on her door, and after she had asked him in, the door opened and Donnie popped his head in.

_Speaking of distance…_

"Sorry to bother you, April," he said quickly, his voice sounding a bit uneasy. "But I can't find my old toolbox, and Leo told me you were in charge of keeping my lab in order, so do you know where it could be?"

"Sure, Donnie," she replied. "It's in the drawer in the back of the lab where we keep all the other stuff we don't use on a regular basis."

"Ah, okay, thanks, April!"

"You're welcome!"

But before Donnie left he quickly glanced around April's room, something he hadn't been able to do when he had tried to comfort her when she had been crying after his arrival, and a deep frown appeared on his face when he saw Casey's old hockey mask on the wall next to April's bookshelf.

Why did April have Casey's hockey mask? Hadn't Casey lost it? Okay, that was something he had made up in his mind, that Casey had lost his mask. It had been the most logical explanation to him. But seeing it here in April's room in one piece sure messed up his neat theory.

"Something else I can help you with, Donnie?" April looked at him with a raised brow.

"No, no, everything's fine!" Donnie replied. "Thanks again!" And with that he quickly closed the door behind him.

April had seen the confusion in his eyes, but wasn't sure what could have caused that. It must have something to do with her weird behavior towards him, and it was moments like this that she hoped she knew for sure why she was angry at him and that things between them could be back to normal.

But she was angry at him. She did her best to hide it, and sometimes the relief and happiness that Donnie was back in once piece was outshining her anger, but there were times when her anger got the best of her.

Was she angry because he came back without a cure? No, that couldn't be the reason. She had always known that the chances of finding a cure had been thin, even with Donnie's knowledge and dedication.

No, it was something else. And she sure had been glad when she had seen him at the lair at the day of his arrival. But when he had mentioned her father, it had felt like her world had crumbled to pieces again.

_Her father…_

An image of her father before his mutation, her real father, the father she had been able to talk to and to hug, appeared before her inner eye, but quickly was replaced by an image of his mutant form. And then she saw him lying on the ground again, motionless, covered in blood.

But before her mind could go any deeper into what she had experienced back then, she fiercely shook her head, thus fighting these saddening images into the back of her mind again. At least for now.

* * *

In the meantime Karai had arrived back home. She was kneeling in front of her bed and removing some of the floor plates. When she was done she retrieved a box from the void underneath and placed it on the bed. She put the floor plates back in place and then sat on her bed, opening the box and spreading its content on her bed. There was a black jumpsuit, black boots, several knives, black gloves, and a sword.

When she held the sword in her hands, she hesitated. It was a shikomizue, closely resembling the one she had owned four years ago. She slowly unsheathed it and watched how the light was reflected on its blade.

_Four years…_

She had been going through a lot in this time, and her original plan had been to keep a low profile, live as normal a life as was possible in Area M, and so she had chosen the name 'Harmony' and pretended to be a normal young woman that had to fight through her day like all the others did in Area M. A young woman, though, that could deal out blows when she had to, but nothing more. No ninjitsu, no being a kunoichi, no lurking in the shadows. Just getting through the day and waiting till it was time for her revenge.

But it had turned that to take revenge you needed money. And it had also turned out that after all these years of being a kunoichi, of learning the art of ninjitsu, it had been simply impossible for her to get the kunoichi out of her completely.  
That was the reason why she had decided to be Harmony during the day and Karai at nights. Well, not really Karai, but Mr. S, a cover name she had made up, so her enemies would never find out Mr. S really was a woman. No-one had ever seen Mr. S before. Those she was sent out to kill would never be able to tell anyone who she really was, and those who she just needed to teach a lesson, never caught a glimpse of her. She attacked them from the shadows, from behind, injured as much as it was necessary to get her employer what he wanted.

Ambush them, attack them, disappear – all in the blink of an eye. This was the usual proceeding. But sometimes she needed a bit more fun. She then attacked them from behind pulled a paper bag over their head and bound them, and thus have more time to have some fun. Her knowledge on killing and torture methods sure had increased in the past years – on the one hand due to the fact that weapons were short in Are M and if you wanted to do a good job, you needed to be creative sometimes, and on the other hand she really enjoyed it.

And she always left a card when she was done with her victim.

The card told them what they were supposed to do – and who had hit them. Well, when she was supposed to keep them alive. For the others, it just said who had killed them. This card had become Mr. S' trademark. And it had always worked. No-one knew who Mr. S was, no-one knew Harmony actually was a highly trained kunoichi. This was Karai's plan of surviving. And it had turned out pretty well so far. Soon she would have her revenge.

 _But first_ , she thought as she sheathed the sword again and put it down on the sheets, _it's time for Mr. S to strike again. Tonight._

* * *

April was still in her room reading her book when there was another knock on her door. She rolled her eyes. Couldn't she spend one afternoon alone?

"Come in!" she called out, but when Casey popped his head in, she was a bit surprised. She had expected that it was Donnie or Mikey.

"Oh, hi, Casey," she greeted him.

"Hi, April," the young man said. "Leo asked me to tell you that dinner's ready in twenty minutes."

"Ah, okay," April replied. "Thanks, Casey."

"You're welcome." He hesitated a bit but then entered her room.

He pointed at his mask on the wall. "You still keep that, huh?"

April followed his gaze.

"Well, of course," she said. "It was a gift."

"A gift to remember me, yes," Casey clarified. He went over to her room and sat down on the edge of her bed.

"April," he started hesitantly. "My offer from four years ago still stands. And I still think it would be best that you live with me and my family." April raised a brow. "I don't have any expectations on you!" Casey added quickly. "It just would be safer, you know."

"Casey," April said. "You know that I can't do that."

"Why not?" Casey asked, his voice sounding a bit angry. "I got it that you didn't want to come with me four years ago because of your father. But he is gone for a while now. I gave you time to mourn, but now you should face the truth. It is safer for you to stay with me and my family."

April squeezed her eyes shut for a moment when Casey mentioned her father, but then she looked at him again and slowly shook her head.

"Casey, I can't," she said. "My place is here. With my family."

Casey lowered his eyes for a moment.

"And what are you and me?" he mumbled.

"We're friends," April replied. "You know that."

Casey nodded, his lips pressed into a thin line. He took a deep breath before he spoke up again.

"You know, there was a time when I thought we were more than that," he said.

"Yes, Casey," April said, her voice soundless. "Me too."

* * *

That night Karai stood in front of a shaking old man lying on the dirty ground of a side street, her head covered by a black shawl. Only her eyes were visible. She had pulled a paper bag over the man's head to block his view and his hands were tied. He was breathing heavily, afraid that his last hour has come.

Karai placed a paper card on his chest and then cut his bonds with a knife, and the next moment she had disappeared.  
She was making her way over the roof-tops, self-satisfied with what she had achieved tonight. She had no idea why she had decided for the paper bag tonight, but it sure had been fun. And it felt like she had needed that tonight. Yes, sometimes it was great to be a kunoichi.


	5. Invisible Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie finally gets the long awaited shipment from his scientist friend from New Delhi, but salvaging it turns out to be more difficult than he and his brothers had thought.

It was late at night, but Donatello was still awake, sitting at his work desk in the dimly lit lab. He was waiting for a message from his scientist friend in New Delhi. And because he had to stay up anyway, he had volunteered for the night shift.

There wasn't much else he could do than either wait for the alarm to go off or the well-known _beep_ when he had received a message. And due to the recent electricity shortcuts, they had had to use most of it for the security system, but Donnie had insisted that they had to keep up the laptop and the router, so he wouldn't miss his friend's message. Whenever he got what he needed to make their own electricity system, everything would be easier. It was a lot better now than a week ago when he had arrived, but still not as good as he had meant it to be. He needed this shipment his friend had promised him so that he could work at nights as well. At the moment, they just made sure they had enough electricity to keep the security system working overnight and went from there in the morning.

So in lack of something else to do, Donnie let his thoughts wander like he had done so many times the past days. There were still so many things he couldn't understand. April was acting so distant, and he had no clue why. Neither had he an idea of what to do now.

At least his brothers didn't seem to have changed more than what would be understandably under the given circumstances. Mikey was still the cheerful one, Raph the grumpy one, and Leo the reasonable one. And they still treated him like their brother and made him feel welcome here. And the same went for Splinter.

_Splinter…_

Donnie still couldn't believe how much his father had aged. He now was pretty sure that it had something to do with the rat DNA, and he had spent several hours thinking of what he could do to stop this process. Well, there was Retromutagen Attempt Number 468 that slowed down the mutation process. And that was the other reason he was awaiting for this shipment so impatiently – it would include relief supplies of 468.

He wasn't sure, if it would help Splinter, though. Splinter's mutation had been caused by another strain of mutagen than the Kraang had used to mutate New York City. And there was nearly nothing left of the old mutagen anywhere. But if the Kraang had stashed old mutagen anywhere, it most certainly would be New York City. So if 468 wouldn't work for his sensei, Donnie would have to add "Find supplies of old mutagen" to his To do-list, together with "Find DNA of April's clone". To save New York City, he would need the DNA of April's clone, but to save his father, he might need old mutagen. And he had no idea which of the two had a higher priority.

But first things first. He needed 468 and an appropriate lab before he could think of anything else that might lie ahead of him.

He closed his eyes for just a moment and rubbed the increasing tiredness out of them, when he heard it.

_Beep!_

He immediately was wide awake again as he checked his e-mails. A smile appeared on his face when he found the long awaited e-mail in his inbox.

_Finally!_

But when he read it, the smile faded again and was replaced by a deep frown.

Okay, this was going to be a bit harder than he had thought. Well, to be honest, _a lot_ harder.

* * *

When they were all gathered in the kitchen the next morning – well, except for Master Splinter who preferred to drink his morning tea in his room and then spent the morning meditating – Donnie thought it was time he filled his family in on the details.

Okay, his family and Casey. The young man was still here, and by what Raph had told Donnie, he wouldn't leave before he hadn't gotten all the supplies he needed and had sold all of his groceries. From what Donnie knew only a bit of groceries were left, but whatever Casey needed, he had failed to trade yet. So he could be around for some time still.

Donnie didn't really care. It was just…unusual to have Casey around for such a long time. While he and his brothers had lived with April for a few weeks when she had had to hide from the Kraang and Shredder, Casey had never been around for more than a day in a row.

But now he stayed at the lair permanently, only leaving for his trading walks at which most of the time Raph and sometimes even Leo and Mikey accompanied him, and he would stay at the lair for the duration of his visit. And bumping into Casey several times a day just was something Donnie had to get used to. It wasn't something he had to get used to _again_ like it was with his family, it was something he had to get used to _completely_ because he had never experienced that before.

Things sure were a lot easier between him and Casey since they had buried the hatchet, but Donnie knew for sure that they would never become best friends – they were way too different for that –, but friends. And for him that was sufficient.

"Man, you look tired," Mikey announced when he set eyes on Donatello.

"Mikey, I had the night shift, what did you expect?" the purple-masked turtle replied. "That I came in here, being as fresh as a daisy?"

"Hmmmmmm…" Mikey twisted his mouth and furrowed his brow, brooding over the said for a moment, before he turned to his brother with a wink. "You have a point."

Donnie just rolled his eyes in return.

"Just help yourself with some breakfast and then catch up on some sleep," Leo told his brother.

Donnie nodded. "But I need to tell you something first."

Immediately, five pairs of eyes turned into his direction.

"I received a message from my friend from New Delhi tonight," Donnie announced. "The shipment he had promised me is going to arrive tomorrow." He got the map of New York he had had tucked under his belt out and unfolded it on the kitchen table. "And they are going to drop it in this area here."

He encircled the said area with his index fingers, and he could literally hear how these five pairs of eyes widened in surprise.

"But that's pretty close to Central Park!" Leo pointed out. "Or even Central Park if we have tough luck with the wind conditions!"

"You gotta be kidding, bro!" Mikey concurred.

"Yeah, why don't they drop the shipment somewhere easier to salvage from? Like Rahzar's lair!" Raph added angrily.

"I'm sorry, guys," Donnie said, "but he has only been able to get the shipment onboard this test flight, and it would raise too many questions if they open the hatchway sooner."

"Wait, why would they open it anyway?" Leo asked.

"They…are…sort of testing a new herbicide that maybe would work for mutated plants as well," Donnie admitted hesitantly.

"Wait, wait," Leo said. "Just to get this straight: We not only have to go to Central Park, we also have to face a cloud of herbicide?"

"No," Donnie said, and Leo sighed in relief. "We only would have to go to Central Park if we have tough luck with the wind conditions."

"And what exactly makes this any easier?!" Leo asked hectically.

"Nothing," Donnie said with a shrug. "But it's important to be accurate."

The reply to this were frustrated grunts by all three of his brothers – something they always did when Donnie insisted on being accurate. And Donnie again had to blink back tears when he realized that this was one of the things that hadn't changed.

* * *

The next morning when they were all gathering their stuff and prepare themselves for their mission, Leo watched for an opportunity to talk to Donatello in private. And when Donnie went for the dojo to fetch his bo, Leo seized his chance and followed him.

He was pretty sure that his brother must have sensed him when he had entered the dojo, but Donnie didn't even turn around. He just kept standing there with his back to Leo and looked like he was examining his bo closely.

"You haven't come to talk me out of this, have you, Leo?" he said, his back still to Leo.

Leo froze for a second, blinking his eyes. While Donnie sure had lost quite a bit of his old form, when it came to his physical abilities in fighting, his mental abilities had increased indeed. Leo could only wonder why, but maybe it had something to do with the fact that his brother had been on his own all this time, not sure who was friend and who was foe, and thus had had to develop his senses and his mental abilities to be able to estimate someone right away, to know if it was worth a fight or if he even stood a chance in a fight or taking flight was the better alternative. For a second there, Leo really thought that maybe he should consider fending for himself for a few months, just to gain the same abilities as his brother had – but of course, without letting his physical training slide. But he quickly shook this thought off. His family needed him.

"Just think of it, Donnie," he talked to his brother who still refused to turn around. "You say yourself that your fighting skills have dropped and your ninjutsu has gotten rusty. Heck, you even refuse to spar with any of us, just because you think you might embarrass yourself. It would be safer if you stayed here. The others and I can salvage this shipment."

Donnie shook his head.

"Donnie, please!"

"Leo, I have to do this," Donnie said. "I can't let you do all the work. I have to go as well. I _need_ to go!"

"But Donnie…" Leo was stopped by a quick swing of Donnie's bo that swept his feet away from under him, and Leo landed on his back with a thump.

"Ouch!" he protested. "That wasn't fair! You took me by surprise."

"Is that so?" Donnie said with a smirk. He was finally facing Leo, casually resting on his bo. "For someone who is as skilled in ninjutsu as you are, don't you think it should be a bit harder for someone as rusty as me to be able to do that?"

Leo just grunted. "I see your point."

"Good." Donnie held out his hand and helped his brother to his feet. "So am I allowed to come?"

Leo sighed. "You are," he gave in. "But you'll have to team up with Raph, and whatever happens, you stay close to him, understood?"

Donnie gave slight nod. "Understood."

* * *

Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael stood on a rooftop. All four of them were wearing face masks.

"You all know the plan," Leo told his brothers, his voice muffled a bit by his face mask. "Mikey, you and I build a team, as do Raph and Donnie. And whatever happens, stay close to your partner. We don't know what we have to face in there." He tilted his head into the direction of Central Park. "So be careful! And whatever happens, we stay within earshot. No-one, I repeat: _no-one_ should be on his own in there. Is that clear?"

The three other ninja turtles nodded in response.

"Good," Leo said and lifted his eyes to the sky. "'Cause here they come."

And that moment the air was filled by the roaring of an airplane, and then the plane flew over them, and seconds later its hatchway was opened, and they could see a big, orange package fall down. They all followed it with their eyes, but then another package was dropped, a smoking package, and a second one, and a third, and pretty soon the air over Central Park was filled with smoke.

"Okay, I guess our shipment just missed Central Park, but the outskirts aren't hazard-free, so be careful," Leo told his brothers. "Let's move!"

And with that, they set off.

Donnie sure had problems to stay close to Raph, when they separated from Leo and Mikey to search the area for the shipment, but Raph made sure he didn't fall behind.

The outskirts from Central Park were deserted. People avoided Central Park and had left their houses abandoned when they seemed to be too close to the park. This had led to the nature to win back parts of the area around the park, although it was a mutated nature here. But it wasn't as dangerous as Central Park itself. The plants here couldn't move their tendrils like some plants inside Central Park could – at least that was what they had been told was one of the strange things that happened in Central Park, not to mention the strange mutants that should roam in there.

But Donnie shoved these thoughts aside. He needed to concentrate on the task ahead. He searched his surroundings for a sign of the package.

"I think I got it!" Raph suddenly called out and pointed ahead.

Donnie looked into the direction, and caught a glimpse of orange.

"I guess you're right," he replied, and with that they both ran over to the place where they presumed their package was.

And when Donnie set eyes on what really was their package, he let out a sigh of relief.

"Let's get it!" he said to Raph. "And then we better leave."

Raph answered with a nod and ran over to the package, followed by Donnie. It was so big that it would need at least two turtles to heave it. Raph lifted it on one side, and Donnie took care of the other side.

"Hey, Leo!" Raph called out as loud as he could. "We found it! Let's go!"

"That's great!" he suddenly heard Leo's rushed voice behind him. "Hurry!"

And with that he ran over to help his brothers with the shipment, and he was soon followed by Mikey.

"What's going on?" Donnie asked as they started to get their shipment out of the area.

"Let's just say the herbicide disturbed a few of the inhabitants of Central Park," Leo explained.

"Yeah," Mikey approved. "A few of the _moving_ ones!"

But then there was a tumult behind them, and the brothers' eyes widened in shock.

"Quick!" Leo called out, and they started running as fast as they could with their load. But then they were passed by small animals, rats and mice.

"But that's only small animals," Donnie said.

"Yeah, and we better be out of here before their big brothers show up!" Leo called out.

But then they could feel it. It was as if the ground was shaking beneath their feet.

"Uh-oh!" Mikey called out. "Big brother's coming up!"

Leo hectically searched their surroundings, desperately looking for a place to hide, until he finally set eyes on an apartment building that looked like it wouldn't collapse any minute, which actually was unusual for this area.

"Over there!" he told his brothers, and they did their best to reach the building quickly. Once inside, they put down their load, and Raph grabbed the old front door to block the entrance. Then they planted themselves around the package in the middle of the entry area.

Donnie couldn't prevent his hands from shaking as he clutched his bo. He could feel the tension from his brothers, and although he tried his best to keep his breath calm, he couldn't help that it accelerated.

And then they could all hear it, a roar, a nearby roar. The shaking of Donnie's hands got even heavier now, and he clutched his bo so hard that his knuckles turned white. The floor beneath their feet was shaking even more now, and suddenly the sunlight that fell inside from a window was blocked out, and Donnie held his breath. But whatever was out there, didn't stop for long, it was too eager to get away from the poisoned air.

Donnie let out a sigh of relief when he heard departing footsteps.

"We better wait until we're sure the coast is clear," Leo told his brothers and they all nodded in response.

But then there was a crumbling noise, and something hit Mikey's head. The orange-masked turtle lifted his head, and his eyes widened in shock.

"Or we better get out of here right now!" he called out. "The building's coming down!"

His brothers looked up as well and gasped.

"Move it!" Leo called out, and he, Donnie, and Mikey lifted the package again, while Raph was unblocking the doorway, and the moment he did so, they were met by yellow fog, light, though, but still there.

"Wait, move – could you please make up your mind, Leo?" the turtle in red asked. "This is confusing!"

"Good that you haven't lost your sense of humor!" Leo said. "Hope you haven't lost your strength either!"

Raph just smirked as he joined his brothers. They were moving so fast, Donnie had no chance to look out where he was setting his feet, and that was when he missed the piece of ceiling rolling in front of him and he tripped, letting go of their load in the course of this, and fell down. He wanted to call out for his brothers who had kept on moving and probably had missed what had happened. But suddenly something hit his head, and everything went dark around him.

* * *

His head was aching like crazy, and he wondered if someone got the number of the bus that had hit him. He could feel something warm run down his arms, and he was afraid it could be blood, but then he could feel something soft and warm, touch his upper arm and stroke it down to his hand, and he couldn't help, but enjoy the feeling. It made the aching of his body a bit less painful.

He gave a little sigh which made whoever was there with him gasp silently.

"Donnie?" a familiar voice asked softly.

"In person," he mumbled as he did his best to open his eyes which finally worked at his third attempt. He moved his head to face his tender carer.

"You got the number of that bus, April?" he asked, forcing himself to smirk, which actually hurt a lot, but he didn't care.

April let out a sigh of relief, closing her eyes while doing so. She then put the piece of cloth she had used to wash his skin back into the bowl with warm water.

Donnie followed her movements with his eyes, but then struggled to sit up.

"No!" April said quickly and pushed him back on the mattress. "You maybe have brain concussion. Seriously, Donnie, you've been nearly buried under an entire building. If Raph hadn't gotten you out of there before they building came down, it would have been a lot worse than just a bar hitting your head. Which is worse enough."

"Where is Raph?" Donnie asked. "And the others?"

"Having a shower," April declared. "Getting the herbicide off their skin."

Donnie just nodded. "I see."

So that had been the reason why she had washed his skin, he thought, to get the herbicide off. And for a moment he had felt like April was back to her old self again, treating him like a friend, caring for him, but as she stood up now, he could literally see, how she built up her invisible walls around her again.

"I am getting the others," she announced and left Donnie's room.

Only moments later Donnie could hear quick footsteps approaching, and Mikey darted inside his room.

"Donnie!" he called out, flinging his arms around his brothers neck, and Donnie moaned in pain which made Mikey immediately let go of him again.

"Sorry, bro!" he said with a sheepish grin.

"It's okay," Donnie said with a smile.

Leo entered the room next, followed by Raph. The Turtles' leader walked over to Donnie and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You really got us worried this time, Donnie," he said with a smile.

"Sorry," was the reply.

Raph just looked at Donnie, his brow furrowed, his arms crossed over his chest, an angry look on his face.

"Good, you're awake again," he finally said grumpily, turned around and left the room again.

Donnie looked after him with a frown.

_Speaking of invisible walls…_

He turned to Leo with questioning eyes.

"He…just was worried," Leo said. "You know Raph."

"Yeah, he isn't an emotional kind of guy," Mikey added with a shrug. "He's just a … uhm … Raph."

Donnie nodded. But that didn't make him feel any better.


	6. Danger from the Depth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During a power outage at night, Donnie realizes for the first time why they need a panic room in the lair.

Donnie had to stay the next day in bed. April insisted. And she attended to him although she wasn't as caring and friendly as Donnie had once know her to be. There was something like distance or coldness in her eyes, and it made him worry.

He had no idea why she was acting that way. When he had left them to start his research on a retromutagen together with other scientists, she had been all kind and worried about him, and her e-mails from the first year had been full of warm, encouraging words to make him feel better because he had been terribly homesick back then.

But then their e-mails had gotten shorter and shorter, they only had told each other about basic things and if something important had happened. The time between messages had gotten longer and longer, and the power shortages in Area M had done one more thing to cut down their messages. He couldn't even blame her for not writing more often.

But he hadn't expected that she would treat him so differently, once he was back. He had thought she would still be the friend he had once known. But he had been wrong. It wasn't so much that she had changed that bothered him. He had changed, too, as had his brothers, but how she treated him, the distance in her eyes whenever she looked at him, was just something he couldn't deal with.

And now that he thought of it, Raph was acting a bit similar to April. His older brother kept a distance, too, after what had happened during their mission to salvage the shipment from Donnie's scientist friend – as if he was mad at Donnie for getting hurt.

Donnie tried to tell himself that Raph had just been worried, but things were a little different than they used to be. Back in the good, old the days – although they had never been completely good, not on Donnie's count, at least – Raph had always gotten angry when one of his brothers had been in trouble, masking his worries with acting extra tough, but as soon as he had known that everything was going to be okay, he had been acting normal again, making his jokes and punching his brothers whenever he got the chance. But now, Raph was avoiding him. He hadn't even visited Donnie in his room today although he knew that his brother had been confined to bed for the day.

Leo had been here twice already, and Mikey like ten times, and it only was around midday.

But Donnie had only caught a glimpse of Raph when he had walked past the open door, eyes straight forward, pretending that Donnie wasn't even there.

Raph had had this angry look on his face, his mouth pressed into a thin line, and it hadn't been the grumpy look he usually wore, so Donnie was pretty sure that Raph hadn't been too busy to check on him.

With a sigh he rolled on his side. Next time, Mikey showed up, he would ask him for something to read.

* * *

That night, Donnie was awoken by Mikey's panicked voice.

"We're out of power!" he shouted. "Everyone, move!"

Donnie wasn't sure what this meant. Still feeling a bit drowsy he sat up. What was he supposed to do now?

He saw the lights of flashlights dancing around in the aisle, but he still was too tired to put two and two together.

Suddenly he found a flashlight directly pointed at his face, and he squeezed his eyes shut and lifted his hand to cover his eyes.

"What are you waiting for!?" Leo yelled as he rushed into Donnie's room.

Donnie looked at him slightly confused, but before he could ask, Leo grabbed Donnie's arm, slung it over his shoulder and dragged Donnie out of the room and over to the lab.

As soon as they were inside, Mikey and Raph closed the door behind them and bolted it.

Leo breathed a sigh of relief as soon as the door was closed.

Donnie still was a little confused and looked around the room. The lab was lighted by their flashlights, and it never had been pitch black down here anyway, so Donnie could make out a few things.

He could see April, Casey, and Splinter in the back of the lab, where Splinter was lighting a few candles, while April had brought out an old blanket from their stocks. Casey was just standing around, looking pretty forlorn as if he wasn't sure what he should do now.

Donnie sighed. _I can relate to that…_

But then he heard a thud and looked to the side to see that Raph had slumped down on the floor, leaning his back against the bolted door, his arms crossed over his chest. Mikey just looked at him for a second, but then walked to the back of the lab.

Before Donnie could observe any more, Leo started moving again, leading him to the cot and making him sit down.

"You feeling okay?" he asked Donnie. "Maybe you got hurt more badly than thought."

"No, Leo, I'm fine," Donnie replied. "I was just feeling a little drowsy. I am not used to jump out of bed and run for it any longer."

"Oh, well, okay," Leo replied. "You better get used to it again!"

He pointed his finger at Donnie, giving him the leader-look Donnie had truly missed.

"I will," he promised, and Leo just replied with a nod before he went over to Raph and slumped down next to him.

Mikey returned with some comic books and a second flashlight and set down next to Donnie on the cot. He handed one flashlight to Donnie and then opened a comic book, lighting the pages with his flashlight. After a moment he turned to Donnie.

"Want one?" Mikey asked, motioning to the comic book collection on his knees. "This will take all night."

Donnie just shook his head. He hadn't even turned on his flashlight yet. There was enough light in here, so he could see as long as he didn't read anything. And he didn't feel like reading right now.

"Okay," Mikey said with a shrug before he turned back to his comic book.

Donnie let his eyes wander over the room again.

Splinter had lit his candles and was now kneeling on a seat cushion, meditating.

April had placed her blanket on the ground and was now sitting on it. But something about her posture made Donnie frown. She had pulled up her knees, her arms flung around her legs and her forehead was resting on her knees.

Casey seemed to think the same because he approached her.

"Red, you okay?" he asked gently.

"I-I'm fine," came her reply, but she didn't lift her head. "Just a headache."

"Want some water? Or a painkiller?" Casey suggested, although he had no idea where to get those, but he was sure Raph or Leo or Mikey would help him out.

April shook her head, again without lifting it. "No, j-just leave me alone. I'll be fine."

"Okay." The disappointment in his voice was clearly hearable as he strolled over to Donnie and Mikey and leaned against the cot next to them.

"Don't take it to heart, Casey," Mikey said in a low voice. "She's always like this when we're in here."

"Which reminds me," Casey said, " _why_ are we in here?"

"You don't know?" Mikey asked.

"Well, of course I know," Casey replied. "I just wanted to know if you do, too."

"Ah, okay," was all Mikey said.

Casey sighed. "Mikey, that was a joke. I've never been down here with you guys when you locked yourselves away in the lab, so I have absolutely _no_ idea why we are here."

Mikey thought about that for a moment. "Oh, you're right. We have always been on our own, now that I think of it. We just don't talk about these nights too often, so I must have forgotten."

Donnie had to confess, he had no idea why they were in here either. April had told him once that the lab now was their panic room they used when there was a total blackout. It had made him curious, but she had looked so frightened when she had told him about the lab's new usage – although she had tried to hide it and put on a fake smile, but that hadn't fooled him – that he hadn't dared to ask her any more questions about it. He had intended on asking his brothers, though, but hadn't had time for that now, so he was glad he'd get an answer now.

"Well," Mikey continued. "It started with the first total blackouts. We didn't really think about it at first. One of us was on duty anyway and power would come back eventually, so that was okay, we thought. But we were so wrong! It was the third blackout in a month, and it was my night turn. I positioned myself in the living room with some flashlights, guarding the entrance, but I was in no way prepared for what happened next. I hadn't really expected that someone – or something – would show up. The powerless nights before had been quiet, but this night was different. I thought my ears were playing a trick on me when I heard this strange noise coming from the tunnel. It sounded like a screech. And then there was a second one and a third and a fourth, so I knew I was hearing pretty fine. I ran over to the tunnel, searching for whatever was there. And then I saw this big shadow coming my direction. And by big I mean, really, really big. I knew I wouldn't stand a chance against that thing, but I at least wanted to know what it was so I pointed my flashlight at it. From what I could see it was some red-purple-pink wobbling mass, but then it screeched so loudly when it was hit by the light, that I stumbled backwards. And then something hit the flashlight out of my hand, and all I could do was back away. I ran inside to wake the others, and we barricaded ourselves in Leo's room. Raph was super-grumpy because we didn't fight it, but sensei said we weren't prepared. In the morning, this _thing_ was gone. There were some traces in the tunnel, but we couldn't really read them and lost track further down the tunnel anyway. So we decided to build our own panic room, just in case."

"And what is this _thing_?" Casey asked.

"We don't know," Mikey explained. "It only shows up here at night when power is out as if it was lurking outside, waiting for the right moment to attack when our security system is down. It sometimes gets inside the living room and rummages it as if it is looking for something, but it is always gone in the morning."

"I still think we could put it down!" Raph called over to them.

"We talked about this, Raph," Leo said. "And we decided that it would be best not to rush into a fight we maybe wouldn't win."

"You mean you and sensei decided," Raph replied. "I never said such a thing. I think getting out there and fight it would be the best way to get rid of it, not hide in here as if we were some scared little brats afraid of the bogeyman."

"Raph…," Leo started again, but Raph got up rather fiercely and stomped over to Mikey.

"Give me one of these comic books!" he ordered.

Mikey immediately wanted to grab one and hand it to Raph, but at that moment, they heard it.

It was the sharpest shriek, the most heart-piercing cry Donnie had ever heard, and it made them all freeze for a second. April yelped in pain and pressed her finger against her temples in an attempt to make the pain bearable.

And then it was over again. Mikey handed Raph the comic book, and Raph stomped back to his place at the door and slumped down again, now opening the comic book and reading it, using his flashlight as a reading light.

And if it hadn't been for April who still was breathing heavily, one could have thought nothing had happened.

* * *

The next morning, Raph and Leo opened the door and peeked outside cautiously. The sun had already risen, they realized, as sunlight shone from the ceiling hole above the wooden emergency stairs. Leo breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, we're good," he announced to the others.

April was the first of them to get up. She simply rushed out of the lab and to her room.

Donnie who had been resting on a blanket on the floor next to the cot watched this with a frown, but then Mikey's light snores made him look at his younger brother. Donnie had left the cot to Mikey, shifting to the floor when his younger brother had dozed off.

Donnie watched his brother with a smile. Mikey could sleep anywhere. While the rest of the team had been too tensed to sleep, Mikey had fallen asleep reading his comic books. He still had his flashlight in his one hand and the comic book in the other, although Donnie had turned off the flashlight before he had gotten a blanket for himself to set up his makeshift bed on the floor. He had been lying there all night, staring at the ceiling, shivering slightly whenever the creature outside had shrieked.

But now he placed a hand on Mikey's shoulder and shook him gently.

"Mikey, it's time to wake up," he said softly, but with no effect.

"MIKEY, GET UP!" Raph yelled, and Mikey literally jumped to his feet with a yelp, tossing comic book and flashlight away. The comic book landed on the floor, but the flashlight was about to hit Splinter in the face. The mutant rat caught it incidentally like he had done with arrows sometimes.

When he walked past Mikey, he gave it back to him.

"Thanks, sensei," Mikey said with a sheepish grin.

"You are welcome, my son."

And with that the two left. Casey followed suit as did Raph, and so only Leo and Donnie were left in the lab.

Donnie walked over to his oldest brother.

"So this is it?" he asked.

"Pretty much, yeah," Leo replied. "But it should have been the last time, now that you are going to set up a new electricity system."

"But I think we lost the shipment," Donnie said.

"And what do you think that is?" Leo walked over to a big crate that was covered by a blanket and took the blanket away. And there it was, the orange package they had tried to salvage two days ago.

"I…I thought it was lost!" Donnie called out.

"After all we had been going through to get it? No way!"

"But how…?"

"Raph carried you to the lair while Mikey and I took the package. It was a bit difficult, but we managed."

"Why hasn't anyone told me?"

"You didn't ask."

"But…I…"

Leo chuckled a little. "You would have started working on it right away, and April told us that you needed one day of bed rest."

Donnie gave a little shrug. "True."

But then he frowned. "Speaking of April, what is going on with her? She looked terrible."

"She's always like that when we are in here, cuddled up in the back of the lab, always suffering from terrible headaches. First thing in the morning, she heads back to her room, trying to catch up on some sleep."

"I see. But she should definitely take some painkillers next time."

"She refuses," Leo explained, "saying that we should save our meds for emergencies."

"I see her point, but still, it just feels wrong to have her suffering like that."

"I know," Leo agreed, placing a hand on Donnie's shoulder. "But there's nothing we can do. You know April." He smiled at Donnie encouragingly, and Donnie returned the smile. But deep down inside him, he couldn't help, but have doubts. Did he really know April any longer?

"Now let's grab some breakfast," Leo announced then, and Donnie replied with a nod.

* * *

April was lying in her bed, trying her best to fall asleep, but she just couldn't. It always took her an hour until sleep was finally coming her way after one of these nights. She still could hear the creature's shrieks, felt how they made her feel like someone was tearing her head apart, and in a way, that was what it did.

She hadn't told the guys about it, but when this creature arrived, it felt like it was trying to get inside her head, its shrieks, its sheer presence consuming April's thoughts completely. And sometimes, she could even hear some words, although she never could remember them in the morning.

She always did her best to shield her mind, and so far, she had done a good job.

She knew, she should tell the guys about it, but it would only worry them, if not make them rush outside of the safe lab and fight this creature, and that was the last thing she wanted – getting them into even more danger.

She knew two things about this creature – it was powerful and it was looking for something. She knew that thanks to her psychic powers which, unfortunately, made the creature find its way into her head, too, but this was just a negative side-effect, and she could handle that. All she knew that this something the creature was looking for was inside the lab. The creature was always lurking in the living room, waiting or checking the lab's walls for weaknesses although tonight, it had decided to just wait. Sometimes it rummaged the living room as if looked for something to break into the lab. But there never was a sign that it had gotten deeper inside the lair. And with the first rays of sun, the creature was gone.

April knew when it left, when her mind was finally set free from its oppressive presence, but she always was too exhausted to tell the guys and thus waited until the others opened the door when they were sure it was safe. And telling them about it would mean telling them about what this creature did to her. And she had decided against it. She would never put the guys into danger. And if that meant that she had to endure some headache every now and then, she couldn't care less.

With a sigh April rolled on her side, as her eyelids finally got very heavy and she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

In its den, deep down in the tunnels of the sewers, the creature was retiring from the night, its hundreds of bodies scattered on the floor. It had been a good night; it had gotten closer to what belonged to it. And soon, it would be its again. In the meantime, it would wait, hiding the light-sensitive skin of its bodies in the darkness, until it would hear the buzzing sound of electricity fade again, and it knew that it could get up there without risking to expose its skin to too much light. And then it would come the closest to what belonged to it, and it would deal its invisible blows, and soon, it would possess again what belonged to it.

_Soon_ , its hundreds of brains thought at once, _soon, we will have what belongs to us again._

And it let out a loud shriek of anticipation.


	7. Some Things Never Change – And Some Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey’s monthly visit is nearly over. When he tries to spend his last night at the lair like he usually does, he realizes that some things have changed.

April had spent the whole day in bed, trying to catch up on sleep. But the creature had haunted her dreams, shrieking and lurking in the darkness and waiting for something. She had looked for it in her dreams, trying to catch a glimpse of it, so that they would know what they were dealing with, but when she could make it out in the darkness, when it somehow materialized, it let out a terrible shriek before April could recognize what it really was, such a terrible, ear-piercing shriek that it felt like her head was torn apart, and she always woke up at that exact moment. So sleep hadn't been as restful as she had hoped, but she felt a little better when she joined the others for dinner.

And while Leo, Raph, Mikey, and Master Splinter acted as if nothing had happened, as if they hadn't just spent all night locked away in the lab, she could feel how Donnie was watching her worriedly all dinner, and even Casey glanced at her every now and then questioningly.

And somehow she couldn't stand it. It had just been a headache, well, from what Donnie and Casey knew, so why were they so worried? They couldn't know what really was going on, and she hated it when someone was worried about her.

_It is nothing! Just a headache! Leave me alone!_

She ate a few bites and then decided dinner was over for her. She excused herself from the table, saying she had a headache again and left for her room.

She slumped down on her bed with a sigh.

This sure wasn't how she had planned her evening. She had hoped to just spend a nice dinner with her friends, but the worried look on Donnie's face had made her so angry, it still did. The little frown that had wrinkled his forehead, the slightly sad line of his mouth.

_Donnie, stop that!_

Whenever she closed her eyes, she could see his worried face. It was driving her crazy!

Yes, Casey had been worried too, but somehow that didn't annoy her as much.

She was angry at Donnie; she had been right from the moment he had come back. First, it had been overlaid by her surprise, by the joy of seeing him again, but now, it was all anger.

And she didn't even know why!

Donnie had traveled the world to work on a retromutagen. He had done that to save the city, to save all these people who had been mutated – and her father. It wasn't his fault that it was too late now to save her father.

She felt her heart tense up in pain when she thought of her father, how she had found him that one night. The image of his battered body had burned into her mind.

But no! She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. This wasn't about her father. She wanted to think about Donnie and why she was so angry at him.

_Okay, April, concentrate! Explore your feelings! The answer is there, you just need to see it!_

* * *

She had no idea how long she had been forcing herself to concentrate on her anger without getting anywhere – could have been minutes, could have been hours – when a knock at her door made her snap back to reality.

"Yes?" April sat up and looked to the door.

The door was opened and Casey poked his head in.

"Hey, Red, can I come in?"

April answered with a nod.

Casey seemed a little relieved when he saw that, entered the room and closed the door again.

He came over to her and sat down on the bed next to her.

He shifted a bit uneasily, his eyes lowered to the ground.

"Well…uhm…," he started awkwardly. "I…uhm…have gotten all the supplies I need, so I'm heading back home tomorrow."

"I see." April mumbled.

"So…"

He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

April stiffened a bit as his touch.

"Casey…"

There was something in her voice that made Casey immediately let go of her.

He looked at her surprised.

"I…I…don't understand," he stammered.

"I'm sorry, Casey. I just…can't."

"That…that's cool," he said quickly. "I just don't understand. I mean, that's what we usually do – I come here for my monthly visit, I sell my groceries, buy supplies, and before I leave again, we spend the night together. It had always been like that, so I'm a bit…surprised. That's all."

"I…I know," April replied, biting her lip. "I just can't tonight." She lowered her voice a little. "I'm not even sure why we always ended up in bed in these nights."

An awkward silence filled the room for a few seconds before Casey spoke up again.

He twisted his mouth. "Well, I thought it was because I'm an excellent lover." He winked at her, and April giggled a bit, all the awkward tension suddenly gone between them.

"Well, could be one of the reasons, yes," April laughed.

"Well, thanks, Red!" Casey said with a smirk, but then he turned serious again. "Okay, to be honest, I always thought it was a sign that I am a little more to you than just a friend, that part of you just didn't want to let me go again. Well, you made it pretty clear when we started…uhm…this, that we'll never be a couple, that you just don't feel about me that way. But a guy's allowed to dream, you know." He shrugged. "And I always had this dream that you would finally come with me, that you will live with me and my father and my little sister, just as friends, you know, because that was the way you wanted it. Well, friend with benefits, for a start, and one day, you'll finally be ready to return my feelings. But it was a stupid dream, I guess."

"No, it wasn't." April shook her head. What he had just told her, made her heart ache because it sounded so wonderful. And it was at moments like this when she hated herself, when she hated her own heart. Everything would have been so easy if she had just fallen for Casey, if she would fall for Casey one day. But she knew that was not going to happen. That was the funny thing about feelings. They didn't always choose the easiest way. Well, most of the times, they didn't.

She smiled at Casey warmly. "Keep dreaming, Casey. Sometimes dreams are all that is left in our lives."

Casey smiled back at her. "Will do, Red."

For a moment they just looked into each other's eyes.

"Soooooo, did you really think I would sleep with you at your farm when I know your little sister is sleeping next door?" she asked teasingly.

"Well, you didn't have a problem sleeping with me when your _little brothers_ were sleeping next door," Casey replied just as teasingly.

And then they looked into each other's eyes again.

"Just a little kiss before I go?" Casey asked suddenly, his voice barely a whisper.

"Okay," April said just as silently.

And then Casey leaned in a little closer and their lips touched again for the first time after more than four weeks.

* * *

When Casey had announced during dinner – April had already left the table – that he would be leaving the next day, Leo had immediately known what that meant. Casey would spend the night with April. It was always like this. So this meant for Leo to either sleep on the couch, pull an all-nighter, or doing his best to blend out what was going on next door, although he could hear all too well. At nights like this, it was really hard to have the room next to April's. Luckily, this only happened once a month.

Leo sighed, slumping down on his bed. As soon as Casey entered April's room he better had thought of what to do tonight.

He could remember all too well what it had been like the first night. First, he hadn't been sure what all this moaning had been about, but realization had hit him all too soon. So he had spent the night with his hands covering his ears and his eyes wide open in shock, because back then, he hadn't been sure what this would mean.

He hadn't been sure if he should be happy for them because he had been too afraid that April would announce the next morning that she would go with Casey, and Leo had so not been ready to let her, who had grown to be some sort of a big sister to him, go.

For a moment he had thought that this maybe could mean that Casey would stay and this wouldn't have been bad because this meant they would have one person more to help, but he had quickly rejected this thought. Casey would never leave his father and his little sister.

So Leo had only found one reasonable scenario of what would happen the next morning: April and Casey would tell them that they had fallen in love and thus, April would go with Casey and live at his farm, and they would live together and start a family and live happily ever after – or as happily ever after as possible in Area M.

So he had spent all night to brace himself for this announcement, trying to persuade himself that it would be best for April to leave, that she would be safe, and that he should be happy for her.

But then, the next morning, nothing like this had happened. During breakfast, April and Casey had acted totally normal, like the night before hadn't happened, and when it was time to say goodbye to Casey, they had just hugged like friends. There had been no passion in their hug, no holding on to each other for a little too long; it had been just a normal hug among friends.

This had confused Leo and he had thought that maybe the night before had just been some weird, very realistic dream. Well, until the next month, when all this had happened again. He had known for sure then that he hadn't been dreaming. But again, the next morning April and Casey had acted like nothing had happened.

The third month, Leo had been prepared and had wisely moved to the living room right after he had heard Casey entering April's room.

The moment he had lain down on the couch, Raph had popped his head out of the lab – it had been his night turn back then – and he had just nodded at Leo, and that moment, Leo had realized that Raph knew it, too.

And from what Leo knew now, Mikey did, too. He had realized it the next morning in the way the youngest turtle had looked from April to Casey and back to April, but he hadn't said anything. None of them had said anything. They never spoke about it, they just knew – even Master Splinter, Leo was sure about that one. So they all knew. Well, except for one.

April and Casey had begun the benefits-part of their friendship after Donnie had left Area M for his search for a cure. So Donnie was the only one who didn't know anything about it.

And Leo had planned to keep it that way. Donnie had just come back. And despite all the time that had passed since the day they had first met April, Leo was aware that Donnie's feelings for April were still very strong.

So there was another problem tonight – he had to make sure Donnie wouldn't find out about April and Casey. It was the reason why Leo had told Donnie off for the night turn.

But maybe that wasn't enough. Maybe someone should make sure Donnie wouldn't go to his room or anywhere near their bedrooms at all. And again, Leo was a little angry that Casey and April didn't even seem to care about being at least a little quiet – or maybe they were. He didn't know, he totally lacked the experience in this. The problem was that one could still hear them, be it that they thought they didn't need to be quiet, be it that they tried to be quiet and the walls were just too thin. And that was the problem because Donnie would hear them, too, then.

When Leo heard the door of April's room being opened and then a voice that definitely was too deep to be April's, he sat up. He waited until the door was closed again and then left his room.

_Time to keep Donnie company._

* * *

"Hey there, Donnie," he greeted his brother when he entered the lab. "Mind if I keep you company for a little while? I can't sleep."

"Sure, why not?" Donnie said as he looked up from his laptop. "But I'm not sure if I'd be a great discussion partner. I'm working on a plan of how to set up the new electricity system. Thanks to Mikey spending half the day on the ergometer, I should have enough electricity to work on the computer without risking to take away any of the security system's power."

"Sounds good to me," Leo replied with a shrug and moved a chair over to Donnie's table and sat down. "So did your friend send you all the supplies you need?"

"Well, he sent me all I asked for and that was what I thought would be enough," Donnie replied. "But after last night's attack, I'm not sure if it is going to be enough for what I have planned now. I'm working that out at the moment."

"Oh?"

"No worries, it should be enough for a properly working electricity system," Donnie assured him. "I'm just thinking of upgrading the security system a little bit."

"A little bit?" Leo smirked.

"Okay, okay, maybe a little bit more than I had intended," Donnie admitted.

Leo smirked even more now.

"Okay, maybe I'm thinking of totally upgrading it. You happy now?"

"Totally." Leo chuckled. "It's not like this is a big surprise. I knew you couldn't live without turning the electrical stuff in our lair upside down once you're back. It's just so you."

Donnie gave a little laugh. "Some things never change."

"I'm glad they don't," Leo said. "It's good to have a little something to rely on."

"I guess you're right."

They spent a few moments in silence before Donnie spoke up again.

"About that…thing from last night," he started. "Do you know anything about it?"

Leo slightly shook his head. "Only what Mikey has told you already. It only shows up here during total blackouts and sometimes roams the living room. That's pretty much all we know about it."

"Has anyone ever seen it?"

"Except for Mikey? No. And from what he had told us, we don't dare to face it in the dark."

Donnie nodded. "Maybe I should put together a few things we know about it and make some conclusions about what it could be when I'm done with the more important things."

Leo sighed.

"Let me guess, you knew I'd say that," Donnie said.

"Yeah, I did," Leo replied.

"Bad?"

"No, just you, the good, old Donatello we all know and love," Leo replied. "And who can't take it when there's a mystery unsolved out there."

"As you said, Leo, some things never change."

"Yes," Leo mumbled, but for the first time Leo wasn't sure if he was glad about this one, too.

* * *

It was still early in the morning when Donnie was on the way to his room. Leo had fallen asleep with his head resting on the table, and Donnie didn't have the heart to wake him up.

Donnie's shift was still lasting for two more hours, but he needed one of the books he had brought along and that were still in the backpack in his room.

But the moment he entered the aisle that led to their bedrooms he saw the door of April's room being opened.

Reflexively, he ducked into the shadows of the dark aisle, although he wasn't even sure why he did that, but the moment he saw who was leaving April's room he knew it had been the right decision. The aisle was dark, but not so dark that he couldn't make out who this lanky body belonged to.

His eyes widened in shock as he watched how Casey tiptoed over to what usually was a storage room and served as Casey's room when he was here.

Something deep down Donnie broke with a crack, resembling what he had felt when he first had seen Casey and April together in the park all these years ago, only much, much worse.

The book was forgotten as he turned on his heel once Casey was back in his room and flew back to the lab. His heart was pounding like crazy in his chest and he was afraid it would wake Leo when he sat down again, but luckily, his brother didn't even flinch.

So Donnie tried to continue his work, but he just couldn't concentrate. He was too busy fighting back the tears burning behind his eyes.

* * *

The next morning Donnie was so proud of the great job he was doing of pretending that nothing had happened. He even talked to Casey about his farm, and his voice sounded totally normal.

Looked like all these years of pretending that he was some scientist who had studied at an elite university finally paid off.

It didn't help with his aching heart, though.

When they all had said goodbye to Casey and they all watched the young man wandering down the tunnel, April couldn't help, but think about their relationship. She always did that when Casey was leaving, thinking of how much easier things would be if she would love him, if she could go with him, but that just wasn't the case. It was a thought experiment and had nothing to do with her feelings.

The last night had been totally different from the nights they usually spent together. They hadn't slept together, just spent the night holding each other in their sleep and exchanging a few kisses every now and then, and April wondered if that would change the way she felt about Casey. But for the moment, she just couldn't say it did.

She wasn't sure what exactly Casey was to her. She still saw him as a friend, an important friend. But today she thought that maybe he was a little more than that. What this "little more" exactly was, she had no idea. All she knew was that it was more than friendship but far from love – and that she had absolutely no idea what to do with it.

When she turned around to go back inside the lair, she set eyes on Donnie. And again, he was looking at her with this concerned look on his face, and again, she couldn't stand it. So she quickly marched past him and back inside.

By the time she was back in her room she was all angry at Donnie again, although this time she knew the reason. It was something Casey had said earlier this morning before he had left for his room. She wasn't sure if he had thought that she was asleep because his voice had barely been a whisper.

" _You don't have to answer this, April, but it's because he's back, isn't it?"_

And since Casey had said she hadn't had to answer, she hadn't said anything and pretended that she had been asleep. But his words had been floating around in her head ever since.

Had things between her and Casey really changed because Donnie was back? And how exactly had they changed?

April punched the wall, the sudden pain in her fist overlaying the thoughts floating around in her head. But once the pain had faded, all these thoughts were back again.

She pressed her lips into a thin line.

_Damn it, Donnie!_


	8. The Strike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On his way back home Casey is attacked. In the meantime, the Turtles learn about a new Shark Tooth-shipment. And so does Karai.

Wandering down the tunnels, Casey did what he usually did on his journey back home – think about April. Only the topic of his thoughts was a bit different from before. Usually, he went over their night together in his head, trying to remember every kiss, every touch, every sweet noise she had made, so he would make it through the next four weeks.

But today was different. Yes, there had been kissing and touching, but it had been so different, only holding each other, giving each other comfort, but not more.

And he wasn't sure what to make of it. What exactly did it mean? How had things between him and April changed? And why?

Well, he had a pretty good explanation for the why, sort of, but the how was more difficult, so he decided to start from there.

And maybe he should start right at the beginning.

_It was already morning, and Casey glanced over to April. She had sat up and turned her naked back to him. A smile appeared on his face as he sat up as well, wrapped his arms around her and placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder. She let him have his way, but when he got a little more carried away, she shoved his hands away and turned to face him. She grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around her naked body._

_Like that would make any difference, Casey thought and twisted his mouth a little. He already knew what she looked like naked, he knew how her skin felt, how he could make her tremble and gasp for air, how he could make her moan his name. And a piece of cloth wouldn't be enough to not make him think of it._

_He let his eyes wander over her now covered body, knowing exactly how her body looked like underneath._

" _Casey…" she addressed him, and he knew he should concentrate now, but oh, the memories!_

" _Casey!" she said a little more fiercely, and it took him all his will power to lift his eyes. But looking into her beautiful blue orbs, made him all lost again. He loved her, and he realized in that moment, how much exactly._

" _Casey!" she tried for a third time, and he finally managed to reply._

" _Yeah?" he asked, still lost in her eyes._

_But then something in her eyes changed as if she had drawn a curtain over them, locking him out._

_He snapped back to reality with a start._

" _W-what is it?" he asked quickly._

_When he was able to focus again, he realized that a frown was wrinkling her forehead. "April?"_

" _Casey, about last night," she started, lowering her eyes. "I-I don't know what had gotten into me." – Casey had to bite down his tongue really hard to not make some saucy comment; this wasn't the time for jokes, the situation was way too serious now – "And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done this. Let's reckon this as an on-off, and that's it, okay?"_

_Casey tried really hard to not show how much this affected him. Last night had felt like a dream, a dream come true, to be exact._

_When he had left the city to move to the surrounding area with his father and his sister, when he had had to leave her, it had been hard enough. And although she had been sad that he had had to leave, there had been no sign that she had seen more in him than a friend that had to go._

_He had promised that he would come back every month to do some major shopping – and to sell some goods once their farm business was thriving. And he had come back for his first monthly visit three days ago._

_But there had been no change in her behavior towards him. But last night, when he had shown up in her room for a little chat after he had announced during dinner that he would leave in the morning, she had just hugged him and simply dragged him to the bed. Not that he had complained, though._

_He hadn't had any time to think, heck, he hadn't even wanted to think! Thinking had been too much last night; it had all been about feeling._

_Only in these few moments when they had finally managed to let up on each other and before sleep had taken over their exhausted bodies, he had been thinking – thinking that now April had realized that she loved him too, that she returned his feelings, that finally everything was going to be alright._

_He had been mistaken._

_He knew he should say something, that it was okay or so, but he just couldn't get his mouth to move, so he just stared back at her wide-eyed._

_April lifted her head and looked at him and when she saw the look on his face, her frown deepened._

" _Oh, Casey," she said. "I am so, so sorry. I know how you feel about me, and still, I do something stupid like this. This is such a terrible thing to do, doing this although I know I can't return your feelings. I don't know. I-I'm terrible, that's it. I'm terrible!"_

_She buried her face in her hands, and the next thing Casey heard was her sobbing._

" _Oh gosh, April, don't cry!" He shifted closer to her, just hesitating a little before he put his arms around her. For a moment, he was afraid she'd pull away, but she just leaned into his embrace._

" _I'm sorry, Casey!" she sobbed. "What have I done?"_

" _It's okay," Casey said. "We both had our fun, hadn't we?"_

_April lifted her head. "But I don't…"_

"… _love me? Yeah, I know," he replied as he lifted one hand to her face to brush the tears away. "Doesn't matter. As long as I can hold you in my arms, I'm fine with it."_

" _But you want more, I know that."_

" _That's my problem, not yours."_

" _But what if…"_

" _Shhhhhh." He placed a finger on her lips._

_For a moment, they were just sitting there, holding each other, looking into each other's eyes, silent tears running down April's cheeks that he brushed away. And when finally, she had stopped crying, Casey smiled at her._

" _Friends?" he asked._

_And she answered with a nod._

So this had been their first night or rather morning together, and back then, Casey had still thought it had been an on-off – well, until his next monthly visit, when the same thing had happened, when they had spent the night together again, but without the awkward morning. Same thing had gone for his monthly visit after that, and the next one, and the next, for each of his monthly visits, until the one last night.

All this time he had hoped that these nights made them something a little more than just friends. Every morning when he had gotten up and set eyes on his hockey mask on the wall of her room, he had told himself that they still were more than friends.

But when he had arrived this month, he had known from the start that something had changed. April had acted differently and she had seemed so sad and confused. That had been the reason he had finally brought up the courage to ask her about coming with him again. He hadn't asked this question in all these years. He had asked her once, back when he had left the city, and she had been as clear as only she could be and told him that she couldn't.

But when he had opened the door to her room a few days ago to tell her about dinner and found her so sad and maybe a little angry, he had felt that he had to ask her once more, to get her out of this place that caused her so much sadness and confusion.

Setting eyes on his hockey mask on the wall, he had asked her about it, trying to find out if her feelings had changed or not.

They hadn't, not hers, not his, and he had had to tell her by saying that he had hoped once that they were more than just friends. Her answer, though, had surprised him.

_Me too._

But in a way, he had known that all along. He knew that April would have returned his feelings if she had been able to. She just couldn't. And that was okay. He could have lived with their one night a month until the end of his life, he could have kept dreaming about how one day she would finally return his feelings. And he would keep dreaming, although it was a little more difficult now. But he had so many nights he could dwell on, he was sure he could manage.

But he still wasn't sure how things between him and April were now. They were still friends, that was sure, but the "little more"-part was gone. Or was it? Sure, they hadn't had sex last night, but still, they had needed each other, they had sought to be near each other. They had held each other all night, simply clung to each other.

Had that been some sort of good-bye or did it mean that things had deepened between them?

He had no idea.

But he knew why April hadn't been able to sleep with him last night – because Donnie was back.

Just like him, Donnie was in love with April. His four years of absence hadn't changed anything, Casey had realized in the way Donnie looked at April. But he wasn't sure about April's feelings for Donnie.

Maybe she loved him, too, but why had she avoided him then all this time? Casey had seen how she had always made sure there was some distance between her and Donnie.

Maybe she just saw Donnie as a friend and just couldn't get herself to hurt his feelings by sleeping with Casey although Donnie would never know anything about it.

Maybe April had just decided that she was done hurting the men that loved her.

Casey sighed. Women! They'd always be a mystery to him. And for April, that went twice.

It was only then that he heard the footsteps behind him, quick, forceful footsteps, and of more than one person.

He quickly checked his surroundings. He was the only other person in this street, so this could only mean one thing – they had come for him!

He reached for his hockey stick and turned around to face whoever these stupid people were that thought they could take down Casey Jones.

When he realized, they were just four of them, he smirked. They were no match for him.

But then he saw a shadow moving in the corner of his eye. One swift motion and his legs were swept away under his body. He hit the cold concrete hard. And then they attacked.

* * *

Karai entered Frank's pub, having a seat at the bar.

Shoving a pill of Shark Tooth over to Frank, the bar keeper filled her a glass of booze.

"So, any news for me today, Frank?" she asked.

"Not really, nothing for your Mr. S at least," Frank replied. "Just a little chit-chat."

"Well, give me the chit-chat, then," she said, taking a sip of her drink.

Frank chuckled. "All women love chit-chat, huh, Harmony?"

She answered with a shrug. "As do all bar keepers."

"Fair enough," Frank replied with another laugh. "Okay, here you go." He leaned in a little closer. "Yesterday a group of Purple Dragons was here. And I'm telling you, youth nowadays! They can't even handle three glasses of my booze without getting completely drunk. One of them was so wasted, he started babbling about Rahzar and the problems they face. Looks like they had some major problems with their Shark Tooth-shipments. We all know they get attacked every now and then from some stupid addicts, and we all know how this usually ends. The addicts just run into them, grabbing a few handfuls of pills, and if they aren't killed when they're getting away, they are the happiest people in the world for a few days until they consumed away all their neat little pills. That never was a problem. They were the only ones stupid enough attacking a unit of Purple Dragons and Foot that are armed to the teeth and most of the times it got them killed. Poor little wretches." He sighed. "Rahzar had always calculated these minor losses. But over the last six months, a group showed up, and they can't be addicts. They don't act stupid, they're well-organized. And when they attack, they usually steal the whole shipment."

"Wow," Karai said, and she really meant it. As Frank had said before, no one usually was stupid enough to attack one of Rahzar's Shark Tooth-squads. "Does anyone know who they are? A new street gang?"

"That's what I thought, too, some new street gang that wants to use Shark Tooth to gain more influence. But no. None of the Shark Tooth had shown up on the streets again. Whoever does this, they just seem to hoard it – for whatever purpose. This has gotten Rahzar into some scrape. He even has to face a shortness of Shark Tooth now. And guess what? That's the reason he's watching over tomorrow's shipment himself. He doesn't want to lose another one."

Karai's ears pricked up. Rahzar was going to be there?

She tried not to show how much this made her heart pound in her chest.

"He thinks that might change anything?" she asked casually. "He's only one mutant."

"Harmony, we all know what this one mutant can do," Frank replied. "I've seen it with my own eyes. I know you don't know him, but believe me, people don't start trembling at the mention of his name because he's only one mutant."

Karai looked at Frank for a moment. "Yeah, you're right, I don't know him, and I am not too eager to come to know him after what I've heard about him. But still, does he really think he can turn the tables?"

"Believe me, Harmony, he _can_."

Karai looked at Frank for a moment, trying her best to look at least a little scared.

"Okay," she mumbled.

She took another sip of her drink before she spoke up again.

"So, does he use one of his usual routes to make sure that this new group will find him?" she asked.

Frank laughed. "He may be a little vengeful, but he's not stupid. He has set up another route. Top secret." He smirked at her.

"And this makes you smirk because…?"

"Because this Purple Dragon told me all about it. Like I said, youth nowadays." He laughed.

"Mind telling me about it?" Karai asked. "Maybe I'll hide in a building and peek out of the window, so that I can set eyes on this infamous Rahzar once."

"Weeeeeeeeeeell," Frank drawled. Karai rolled her eyes and handed him another pill of Shark Tooth. Frank took it.

He hesitated for a moment, staring at her before he pointed at her. "But you gotta promise me that you'll just peek."

"Are you kidding me? I'm not stupid!"

"Okay. Good girl." He nodded. "By the way, if your Mr. S decides to join the party, it would be great if I'd get a little share for giving him all these details.

Karai had to bite down her lip to not burst into laughter. So this had been Frank's plan all along, get her attention and then tell her of his plan to steal Shark Tooth – or rather let Mr. S steal Shark Tooth.

Then Frank leaned in a little closer and told her what he knew about the new route.

* * *

Back in her apartment, Karai was kneeling in front of the box that contained her kunoichi-equipment. She was going to need it tomorrow night.

After all this time, Rahzar finally showed his ugly face on the streets again! And this was a chance, she wasn't going to miss.

_Sorry, Frank, no Mr. S tomorrow, just Karai._

She opened the box and took her shikomizue. She unsheathed it, loving the clanking sound it made, like it was taking a deep breath before hurling itself into the fight, before cutting through fabric, and flesh, and bones.

_Soon, my precious blade_ , she thought, _you can allay your blood thirst._ She licked her lips. _As can I._

For four years now, she had been waiting for a chance to attack Rahzar, for four years now, she had been planning, and only pure reason had kept her from attacking Rahzar's lair, not because she feared for her own life. No, she had long left this fear behind. She didn't even care if she was going to survive tomorrow's strike or not. But attacking Rahzar's lair would most probably have her killed before she would have reached her target. Rahzar had tightened security so much; there was no chance she could make it in there alone. And she was alone. She had been since her father's death.

But maybe, tomorrow night she would find her honorable end on the battle field and be reunited with her father in the afterlife.

But first, she was going to have her revenge.

* * *

Donnie was in his lab and made some improvements on their equipment. He and Mikey had already set up most of the new electricity system today, although Donnie had been working so much slower than he usually did.

It was one thing to deal with unrequited love, something he had perfected during all these years. But watching Casey leaving April's room this morning had somehow blown his mind. All these years he had prepared himself to see April with another man, and yes, maybe with Casey, one day. But when April had treated Casey like a friend when he had come here for his monthly visit, Donnie had not thought about this possibility any longer.

But now, it was all he could think about. Every time he closed his eyes for a little longer he saw Casey sneaking out of April's room, and every time, it felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart with a burning blade.

Not only had this possibility he had stopped thinking about come true, no, they didn't even adhere to it. They did this in secret, behind his back. Did they want to spare his feelings? Did the others know anything about it?

No matter how he looked at it, it hurt – and it felt a little bit like betrayal. If they had acted like a couple in front of him, he could have dealt with it, he would have been prepared for it, but not for this secret love. It made him sick. It made him feel like they didn't take him seriously, like they were thinking of him like some little child that couldn't be expected to bear the truth.

With a sigh he pushed the motion sensor he had been working on aside and buried his face in his hands.

"Donnie?"

He quickly lifted his head at the sound of his name and turned to the entrance of his lab where Mikey was standing and watching him in genuine concern.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," Donnie replied. "Just a little headache. What is it, Mikey?"

"Leo has called a meeting," Mikey said. "In fifteen minutes in the dojo."

Donnie nodded and got up. "Coming."

* * *

When Donnie arrived at the dojo the others were already there, sitting in a circle around a map of New York that was spread on the floor.

Donnie choked a sigh when he realized the only free space for him to kneel down was next to April. Well, he could kneel down behind one of his brothers. He was still a lot taller than they were, so he would see just as fine, but that would look too strange – and suspicious.

So he took one calming breath and sat down next to April. He watched her from the corner of his eye. She didn't move, didn't even look up at him. All she did was stiffening a tiny bit. At least, Donnie thought that was what he had seen. But it could be imagination.

Leo looked at him, greeting him with a nod, before he started talking.

"I have been informed about the route of another shipment of Shark Tooth from one of my conduits," he explained. "The route is well-chosen, not many places hidden from view. But there is one chokepoint where they have to give up their formation for a few minutes." He tapped on the map with his finger. "And this is where we are going to strike."


	9. Shark Tooth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie finds Raph’s haven - and learns a disturbing fact about his brother.

When Casey woke up, the first thing he realized was that his whole body was aching. His head felt like it was going to explode any minute, and his limbs hurt as if they had been broken several times which – now that the memories of the most recent events came back – truly was a possibility.

_But I'm still alive_ , he thought. _That's a good sign._

Despite the constant pain he tried to move a bit, only to find out that his arms and legs were held in place by something. His battered head needed a little time to realize what was going on.

_Bonds!_

His eyes shot open, sending a new flash of pain through his body.

_Not good! Not good!_

His eyes darted about like mad. The room he was in was dark, he realized now, but from what he could perceive he was lying on a bed – tied to it, to be accurate –, there were no windows, but from the glimmer of light opposite his bed, he could assume that the door was over there.

He took a deep breath. There was no use in panicking now. He was alive, that was the most important thing. He felt how his heart stopped hammering like crazy and set for a calmer pace.

_See? That's better now. And the guys would come for me soon anyway. They must have realized by now that I went missing, and…_

He stopped mid-thought as the terrible truth hit him.

They didn't! They didn't know anything about his capture. All they knew was that he had left for his farm, and they expected him back in four weeks the earliest. His father and his sister on the other hand would think that he had just prolonged his visit, so they wouldn't start worrying anytime soon. In two weeks, maybe, but who knew if they'd take any action then? Heck, they didn't even know where exactly the turtles' lair was!

A new wave of panic washed over him, shaking his poor, battered body. He was doomed!

It was only then, when the door was opened carefully and a shadowy figure entered.

"Oh, you're awake," the figure whispered.

"Wh-what is going on here?" Casey asked as loud as he could – although, given his recent condition, that wasn't very loud. "Why are you holding me captive?"

The figure stopped for a split second, before it closed the door again and walked over to his bed.

"Calm down," it whispered, and Casey realized that it was a woman's voice.

"You are no prisoner," the woman continued in a low voice. "You're our guest."

"Yeah, sure!" Casey blew a raspberry. "As far as I can tell, I am tied to a bed in a dark room, and that doesn't really make me feel any more guest-y."

"But you are," the woman assured him softly.

There was something in her gentle, low voice that made Casey's panic fade a little. Was it the ring to it? The words she chose? He didn't know. But he somehow felt like she was telling the truth.

But her words still were contrary to reality. He _was_ tied to a bed, for example.

"And you tie all your guests to a bed in a dark room, right?" Casey asked.

"Let me explain," the woman replied. "You are badly hurt, and our medic said you should move as little as possible. That's why we had to tie you to the bed until you are doing better. We were too afraid you might try to get up when you wake up, or that could fall out of bed during sleep. As for the darkness, you are suffering from brain concussion. Light would only worsen your headache."

Casey thought about that for a moment, and in a way, it made sense.

"That narrows it down to one question: _Why_ am I here?"

"One of our patrols found you, all beaten up and more dead than alive," she said. "They decided to bring you back to our hideout for medical treatment."

"I see. Thanks."

"You are welcome."

He was about to open his mouth to ask some more question when she put a hand over his lips.

"Enough questions for one day," she said gently. "You should save your energy for the healing process. Rest a little. I am going to tell our medic about your condition. He is going to check on you later."

She waited a little longer, her hand still covering his mouth, until she could see or rather feel him nod.

Pleased, she took her hand from his mouth and turned around to leave again, but before she had reached the door, he spoke up again.

"Just one more question," he said, his voice sounding all quiet and tired, a sign of how exhausting talking and struggling still was to him. "What's your name?"

She stopped, hesitating a little before she turned her head into his direction.

"Hope," she replied.

"Hi, Hope, I'm Casey," he said dozily.

And the next thing she could hear was his silent snoring.

She silently opened the door and left.

* * *

Leo and the others were still in the dojo, going over Leo's plan for their mission tomorrow night.

"Mikey, you're responsible for chaos and distraction," Leo announced.

Mikey grinned from ear to ear. "Chaos and distraction is what I can do best!"

"Raph and I are trying to break through their formation, to go right for the shipment," Leo continued. "April, Donnie, your positions are here and here." He tapped on the map. "You'll be responsible for keeping our escape route free."

"Wait, what?!" Raph jumped to his feet. "Donnie? We are taking Donnie with us on this mission?"

"We need every help we can get," Leo replied.

"But Donnie?" Raph repeated. "He isn't ready, Leo!"

"You do know, I'm right here, right?" Donnie chimed in.

Raph simply ignored him. "We can't take him with us, Leo!"

"We can and we will," Leo replied, getting up as well. "He has already joined us on a mission, and he did just fine."

"Yeah, he did fine in nearly getting killed!" Raph yelled back.

"It was bad luck," Leo corrected him. "And bad luck could get anyone killed."

"Yeah, especially when _anyone_ is in bad shape!" Raph retorted.

Donnie now got up himself. "Still right here, you know."

His voice was calm, but he couldn't hide the ring of hurt feelings completely.

"Raph, I know from my conduit that Rahzar has tightened security, so we don't know what we are up to this time. That's why we need any help we can get."

"Aha! So you're admitting that he won't be much help!"

Donnie furrowed his brow in concern. Sure, he was not in as good as shape as his brothers, but he still was quite a ninja. He had shown that by getting back into Area M. And he still could fight. And even more important: He wanted to help. He wanted to be part of their team again. And he knew he could handle it.

He opened his mouth, planning to put these thoughts into words that would make Raphael understand, but before he could speak up, Splinter did.

"Raphael!" he said. "I am sure that Leonardo has taken all of your concerns into consideration beforehand, and if he decides Donatello is ready, then you should too."

"But sensei…!"

"He is your leader, Raphael, and as such you owe him respect and submission."

Raph looked at his sensei, frowning deeply and fumbling for an objection, but when he couldn't find any, he lowered his eyes.

"Hai sensei," he finally said and turned to leave, but he made sure to accidentally bump into Leo while doing so.

* * *

On his way back to his lab, Donnie thought about Raph's behavior. He still was a little hurt of how little his brother thought of his abilities now.

Donnie had had to admit though, that when it came to fighting, he was a little rusty there, yes, but he was pretty sure he could handle some Purple Dragons and Foot ninja.

But there was only one way to show Raph – by doing a good job on tomorrow's mission.

For a moment Donnie thought of going back to the dojo and doing some extra training, but he decided against it. There wasn't much use in getting all exhausted tonight. It was even a little risky. Maybe, he wouldn't be able to fight properly tomorrow if he was too exhausted. Besides, Leo had told them to get some rest.

Donnie sighed. He knew sleep wouldn't be coming his way anytime soon. There was too much going on in his head at the moment. So there was only one thing left to do – keeping his brain busy so that he wouldn't have to think about April – and Casey. And that meant trying to continue his work. Work was good. Besides, it had always been relaxing to him.

First, he thought of working on that motion sensor again, but then another idea built in his head.

They were going to steal a shipment of Shark Tooth-pills tomorrow night, so wouldn't it be kind of fitting to continue his research on it?

He smirked. Yes, it sure was. And analyzing the ingredients of it would be a little more challenging than working on this motion sensor, so his brain would have a little more to do which limited the chances of thinking about what he had seen this morning.

He flinched a little when he thought of it again, but then he gave a determined nod and rerouted his steps out into the tunnel.

* * *

The moment he unlocked the door to the room where they had locked away the Shark Tooth they had already stolen, and switched on the light, he nearly jumped back when there was motion in the back of the room as someone leaped to his feet.

Donnie looked wide-eyed at Raph who was standing there, and Raph looked back just as startled and confused.

"Raph?" Donnie asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I…uhm…use this room as…uhm…some sort of a…uhm…haven when I need…uhm…time to think," Raph stammered, but then the surprised look disappeared from his face and was replaced by a slightly angry one. "And _usually_ I don't get disturbed in here!"

"Sorry," Donnie said. "I just need some more Shark Tooth-pills for my research."

There was a moment of silence, before Donnie realized something.

"Wait," he said then. "How did you get in here? I thought Leo had the only key and he gave it to me."

Raph blew a raspberry. "I'm a ninja, Donnie. I might have gotten myself a duplicate." He stared at Donnie for a moment.

"And now that my haven has been detected, I better look for a new one," he said then and began to move, but something didn't seem quite right to Donnie. Raph was tottering slightly, although it really was just the tiniest bit, but enough for him to realize.

He frowned, and the moment Raph wanted to walk past him, something else caught Donnie's attention.

"Wait a second," he said and stepped into Raph's way, trying to look into his eyes.

Raph shifted his gaze uneasily, trying his best to avoid eye contact, but Donnie had already seen what he had been afraid to discover. Raph's pupils were dilated; his brother's usually green eyes were nearly black now.

"You took some of this Shark Tooth, didn't you?" Donnie called out.

Raph's gaze shot back to Donnie immediately, and he stared deeply into Donnie's eyes. All the uneasiness was gone, and Raph was all affront and anger now.

"What if I did, huh!?" he asked mockingly and moved a little closer, invading Donnie's personal space by bringing his face just inches away from Donnie's. "Whatcha gonna do, Donnie? Tell big bro about it? That's what you always could do best – snitching!"

Donnie opened his mouth to counter, but Raph didn't give him a chance.

"I only do that every once in a while when the burden's got too heavy. Never before a mission, never when I could put someone in danger. SO DARE JUDGING ME!"

Donnie retreated a little at the sudden raise of voice, and Raph just stared at him for another moment. Then he started moving again, but when he wanted to go past Donnie, the purple-masked turtle put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Raph, I…"

But before Donnie could finish the sentence, Raph had grabbed him and pinned him against the wall.

"Why did you have to come back, Donnie!? Why!?"" he yelled. "You would have been safe out there!" Suddenly, there were tears shimmering in Raph's eyes, and his voice quavered a little when he repeated, "You would have been safe!"

And with that he let go of Donnie again and stormed out of the room.

Donnie was standing there motionless for a few seconds before he let himself slide to the floor. His carapace still resting against the wall, he pulled up his knees and buried his face in his hands.

* * *

Looking down the street from a building Donnie waited for the signal to hurl himself into the chaos and confusion that would fill the still empty street beneath him pretty soon.

He was ready for it. He had had a few hours of sleep, he had done his best to not think about April and Casey, he had worked on his recent projects, and he was eager to do something that would get his thoughts elsewhere, that would make thinking less important, and all that would have been left was fighting.

He glanced over to where he knew Raph and Leo where hiding in the shadows, waiting for their moment to strike.

He hadn't told Leo anything about Raph's fondness of Shark Tooth. He had no idea how to bring this up.

But he had secretly checked on Raph this morning, and he was acting normal again – no tattering, no dilated pupils. Besides, he had given them all a pretty hard time to keep up with him on their way here. Raph was fine – for now.

To get this shipment was their top priority, and Donnie could think of what to do about Raph later. He could try to help him, to give him comfort, to let him know that his burden wasn't as heavy as he thought, that there were other ways of making it all easier. And he would explain why he had come back, why he _had_ to come back.

A slight motion on the roof of the building to his left made him tense up in anticipation. April was getting ready, and that meant they were close.

And then he set eyes on them, Foot ninja and Purple Dragons, shielding the ones in the middle who were pulling the cart with the boxes of Shark Tooth. And behind that cart went Rahzar.

Donnie's eyes widened. And he suddenly understood what "Rahzar has tightened security" meant – that Rahzar himself would be there.

The squad was getting closer to the chokepoint, a small alley they had to pass, looking around them a bit insecurely as they had to give up their formation, but a growl of Rahzar cut off any further hesitations.

Donnie watched closely. If Leo had changed his mind about tonight's mission, he wouldn't give Mikey the signal. The squad and Rahzar would pass and they could all go home again.

But then he heard the explosion and the street below was filled with smoke and fireworks.

The Foot ninja and Purple Dragons screamed as they ran for cover or tried to get into their formation again as Rahzar bellowed his orders.

Donnie took a deep breath and then pushed himself off the roof edge.

_Here goes nothing!_

* * *

A little bit further down the street Karai was waiting for her chance to attack. As soon as Rahzar showed his ugly face, she would have her revenge. Just a few more moments, she could feel it.

But then she heard an explosion and screams and the clashing of weapons.

_What!?_

Her eyes widened. Who else could be attacking Rahzar? She set into motion, following the noises, and as soon as she was there, all she could make out was that whoever had attacked the squad was already retreating, two green figures had taken the boxes of Shark Tooth with them and were now getting away in a cloud of purple smoke.

_Green…_ Karai narrowed her eyes for a moment. She should have known.

She looked at the battle field, herself still hidden in the shadows. The Foot and the Purple Dragons had regained their composure again after the surprise attack. They had regrouped around Rahzar who was growling and breathing heavily and oh so angry!

Karai knew what she should do now – retreat, wait for another chance. Rahzar and his henchmen were back in their formation, they were angry, they were prepared now. Attacking now would have been equal to signing her own death warrant. She really _should_ retreat now.

Only, she couldn't.

She had waited four years for her revenge, and it could take her even more years to get another chance. She had to try even if it would mean her own death – which it most certainly would. She just had to!

And with that she attacked. She knocked out two of Rahzar's henchmen before they even got the chance to react, but the others were getting ready way too quickly. She fought her way through their lines, going for Rahzar, and she could simply feel when he had recognized her.

"Karai!" he growled. "Have you come for me?" He chuckled, a cold, emotionless chuckle that made her shiver on the inside.

"Let her through!" he bellowed. "This one is mine!"

And then she was facing him, standing in the middle of a circle the Foot and the Purple Dragons had set up around them.

"Now look at this!" Rahzar gave another one of his cold chuckles. "Karai has risen from the dead!" He stared at her for a moment, giving a silent growl. "I'd love to push you back into that grave you've crawled out of."

"Only this time I'll be taking you with me!" Karai retorted, taking a fighting position.

Rahzar chuckled once more. "I was so hoping you were gonna say that!"

* * *

Before Leo could join the others in the sewers by jumping down into the tunnel, he turned around one more time to make sure none of the Purple Dragons and Foot has been following them. There was no one there and he heaved a sigh of relief. The smoke that had covered their escape had settled a little already. But it sure had settled enough that he could make out the shadowy figure that ran past the entry of the side street they were in now.

It had only been a glimpse, but he had immediately recognized the swift movements, and his eyes widened in surprise.

_Karai?_

He quickly handed his boxes of Shark Tooth down to Donnie.

"April, Donnie, bring the shipment to safety, Mikey, Raph, you come with me," he commanded. Donnie looked a bit surprised, but nodded. And after a split second of hesitation Mikey and Raph climbed back up.

"Meet you back at the lair!" Leo called to April and Donnie and moved the manhole cover back in place.

He then turned to his two brothers. "I think Karai's back," he said, and Mikey's jaw dropped while Raph just settled for a wide-eyed look. "We have to check this out."

* * *

Karai had no idea how long she had been fighting, but her vision had already gotten blurry, and each breath she took was burning in her throat. Blood was dripping down her side where Rahzar had gashed her. It was sort of ironic that it was the same place he had dug his claws into her flesh four years ago.

_This dog sure has a way of reopening old sores_ , Karai thought, and she smirked a little.

Due to her blurry vision she wasn't sure how hurt Rahzar was. She knew she had landed a few blows, but about the effect, she had no idea. Rahzar was moving as if he wasn't hurt at all. That, she could still recognize.

He was moving closer, and for a moment she thought of just trying to break through the circle the Foot and Purple Dragons had set up around them, just trying to seek refuge in flight, but no, it was too late for that now. If she wanted to keep the little rest of honor she still had, she had to stay. An honorable death on the battle field, that was all she could ask for now.

Rahzar hauled off, and Karai tried to bring up her shikomizue to block him, but she was a little too late.

She was swept off her feet, hitting the ground hard, and her weapon slid off her grasp.

She tried to get back up, but Rahzar placed a foot on her back, pinning her down, and she was too exhausted from the fight and the blood loss to fight back.

This was it, she knew it, and she closed her eyes to prepare herself for the final blow.

And then she heard it.

_Booyakasha!_

Karai couldn't help, but chuckle.

Who would have known this would be the last word she was going to hear in this world?


	10. Time to Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After rescuing Karai Leo has to face an angry Raph - and Splinter has to cope with the fact that his daughter still hates him.  
> Just a little reminder: This story is canon up to "The Manhattan Project / Wormquake" but takes a different direction from there. So Karai still doesn't know that Splinter is her true father.

Running through the sewers' tunnels, Leonardo could feel how Karai's body in his arms went limper with every step he took. When they had finally reached her, fighting through the lines of Foot soldiers and Purple Dragons, hampering their sight – and Rahzar's olfactory sense – with smoke bombs, she had already lost consciousness.

She was just lying there, bleeding from a very big wound on her side. However, when he had picked her up, it had seemed to him as if she had been smiling. He had been looking at her, only for a split second, though, before they had taken flight.

He could feel the warm thick liquid from Karai's body dripping down his hands, tracing a path of blood, marking their escape route for anyone who could pick the metalic, heavy smell of blood out of all the smells in the sewers. Something a bloodhound could do without any difficulty, something _Rahzar_ could do.

When he realized that, Leo thought for a moment of leading Rahzar to a place where he could easily enter the sewers despite his size, a place where they could use their knowledge of the sewers as a benefit, where they could take advantage of the fact that Rahzar had entered _their_ territory. And then finally put an end to this.

But then he decided against it. Karai needed help and fast! And although they maybe would stand a chance against Rahzar alone, there was no way they could cope with all of Rahzar's henchmen.

But he also knew that he couldn't bring Karai right to the lair, not with the all too obvious trace she was accidentally leaving for Rahzar.

_I am sorry, Karai_ , Leo thought. _You have to hang on a little longer. But you can handle it. You're strong. Just hang on a little longer, will you?_

"Mikey," he called his youngest brother. "You go back to the lair. Help April and Donnie with the shipment, and tell them that we need the medical equipment ready when we get there. We're taking an indirect way back home to make sure we haven't been followed."

Mikey just nodded and quickened his pace.

Raph and Leo turned to the left the next tunnel and ran to a broader and deeper tunnel from which Leo knew that it usually carried water, and today was no exception. One smooth jump and he was knee-deep in sewage water.

"I need your help, Raph," he said as he stopped, and his brother was by his side in no time.

"We need to bind up her wound as good as we can," Leo explained. "Cut some of the fabric of her jumpsuit off and use it as a bandage."

Raph just nodded and reached for his knife, quickly removing one pant leg.

Leo watched his brother's movements closely. Raph sure wasn't being very careful or gentle, but somehow he managed not to scratch Karai's skin. Well, Raph could be careful without looking like he was.

He cut the fabric into shape, and Leo moved Karai in his arms a little so that his brother could patch her up provisorily.

When he was finished, they both waded through the sewage until they reached a smaller tunnel a little bit superior to their right. Raph jumped up to it and waited for Leo.

Leo had one more look at Karai's wound. The fabric of her makeshift bandage was already damp, but at least there wasn't any blood dripping down. Looked like this was the best they could get, and with a determined nod he followed Raph.

* * *

Rahzar slowly walked down the street. There was no need to rush. Yes, the Turtles had stolen the Shark Tooth-shipment, yes, they had rescued Karai, yes, they had gotten away, and yes they were in advance of him for at least half an hour, the time it had taken him to gather his men and find their trace, but oh, it was so easy now!

He would never have been able to pick out their smell among all that stench coming from the manhole cover if hadn't been for the sweet, sweet smell of fresh blood. It was the smell, the taste he adored the most now. And he thanked fate for letting his animal instincts grow stronger over the years.

The smell of blood let him tremble in anticipation, it made his mouth water, it tickled his nose with every breath he took.

He was a bloodhound, through and through.

He now guided his men from manhole cover to manhole cover, following the route the Turtles had taken underground by following the manhole covers that spread this promising sweetness.

He chuckled slightly over the Turtles' dumbness of not going deeper underground where he wouldn't have been able to smell the blood. But their loss was his gain.

He took one more deep breath over this one manhole cover, inhaling his favorite smell deeply before he went to the next one down the street.

He sniffed the air when he approached. Something was wrong. Where had the sweet smell gone? He couldn't pick out blood any longer. He bent down to the manhole cover, sniffing deeply, but there was only this terrible stench.

He snarled and lifted the manhole cover, tossing it away as if it was made of papier-mâché, sending it crashing into the wall of a nearby building.

Rahzar knelt down, and poked his big snout inside the tunnel, sniffing and sniffing and sniffing, only to find – nothing.

With another growl he jumped back to his feet, grabbing one of the Foot soldiers standing in his arm's reach and tossed the man down.

"Look where they are!" he barked.

Then he heard the splashing of water, his henchman coughing and spouting.

_Water…_ That would explain why he couldn't pick up the smell of blood any longer.

"T-there's no one here, M-master!" the man replied, still coughing.

"Then look where they have gone to, idiot!"

"I-I don't know! All looks just the same down here!"

Rahzar threw back his head, letting out a frustrated, warning howl.

"Come back up here and say that to my face!" he ordered, but the Foot soldier was too smart to do that, and instead decided to slip off.

Rahzar snarled once more when he realized that his orders were simply ignored.

He turned around and his men were backing away, but not fast enough, because he managed to grab two of them and tossed them into the wall of a building like he had just done with the manhole cover.

He let out another growl. Not only had he lost tonight's shipment of Shark Tooth, no, he had been robbed of his prey as well, and _someone_ had to pay for it right _now_!

He went after his fleeing men, grabbing one of them by the neck, lifting him up until he was dangling from his hand like a ragdoll. And then he compressed his fingers around the man's neck, tighter and tighter and tighter until…

* * *

Splinter was sitting on the couch, staring at the entrance, waiting. He was waiting for his daughter. He knew in what condition she was. Michelangelo had told them, but she was alive, and as long as she was alive, there was hope – hope that he could tell her the truth, that he could make her understand, that he would be reunited with her.

He was prepared, yes, but still, the sight of Leonardo carrying an unconscious, battered, bleeding Karai in his arms gave Splinter's heart a twinge, and he flinched uneasily.

He watched as Leonardo ran into the lab, followed by Raph, Donnie issuing instructions before he literally kicked all except for April, out of the lab and told them that he would get them when they were finished.

Mikey and Raph just shrugged and left for the bathroom to wash tonight's dirt and smell off, and Leo was about to follow them when he set eyes on his father.

"Sensei…"

"It is alright, Leonardo," Splinter replied. "You don't have to tell me anything now. Go, clean yourself, rest. I will wait here and watch over Karai once Donatello and April are done."

Leo opened his mouth to counter, but then shut it again, nodded, and left.

* * *

When he had entered the corridor that led to the bathroom, Raph was already waiting for him.

"Mind telling me why we had to save her?" Raph asked.

Leo blinked back at him, startled. But then he took a deep breath.

"You know we had to save her," he replied.

"Oh, did we?" Raph retorted. "Well, last time I checked she was still our enemy. She would have left us to die on that rooftop, you know. So _why_ did we have to save her!?"

"If you have objections against it, Raph, why haven't you told me beforehand?" Leo asked. "I mean, _before_ we saved her."

"Like that would have stopped you!" Raph replied. "And like sensei has said yesterday, you are my leader, I owe you respect and submission. And _you_ owe me an answer."

"You know the answer, Raph," Leo said. "She is our sensei's daughter. We had to save her."

"Really? And it has nothing to do with your feelings for her?"

"I don't have any feelings for Karai." Leo looked at his brother with serious eyes.

Raph just snorted. "You know what, Leo? Maybe, one day, if you keep this up, you'll actually believe yourself."

"I know I do," Leo replied gravely, turned away and left his brother standing.

* * *

He was so angry, so angry! Raph couldn't even think! The anger had taken over all his thoughts! Karai was back, she was alive, and still, Leo refused to admit that he had feelings for her. But it was so obvious!

Raph had seen it in his brother's eyes when they had watched Karai fighting Rahzar, when they had brought Karai to safety, he had simply seen it, and Leo just couldn't bring himself to voice it!

Instead, they had risked their lives to save her, they had brought her to the lair, leaving it to Donnie and April to save her life.

True, she was Splinter's daughter, but that didn't make her any less an enemy in Raph's eyes than Rahzar. She had been raised by the Shredder, she had been raised with lies and fairy tales, but for her, this was all true. She had been told from the first day Shredder had held her in his arms that Splinter was the enemy, that one day, they were going to have their revenge, that one day, they would wipe out Splinter and all that had remained of him – in other words, Raph and his brothers.

For Karai, this was what this was about. She was going to strike as soon as she got the chance.

How could Leo _not_ see this?

He was blinded, blinded by his feelings, a love's fool!

By the time he thought that, he had reached the door, the door to his haven. He took a deep breath and reached for the key, trying to insert it into the lock, but it didn't fit any longer.

"Curse you, Donnie!" Raph yelled, realizing that his brother must have changed the locks after he had found him in there yesterday. That had been quick! Raph had counted on something like this tomorrow the earliest. But when it came to work, Donnie had never been known for wasting time.

Raph banged against the door with his hand and let out a frustrated growl.

Yes, it was true, he only needed Shark Tooth every now and then when the burden on his shoulders got too heavy. And it so wasn't his fault that it got too heavy two days in a row! It just wasn't his fault!

He kicked the door in a last attempt to get it open, but the door remained shut.

"Brilliant!" he called out.

He knew they had stashed today's shipment in Donnie's lab, but it was just as much out of his reach as the Shark Tooth behind this door with Splinter or one of his brother's watching over Karai.

_Karai!_

A new wave of red anger washed over him and Raph kicked the door once more just to somehow make this all a little bit more bearable for him.

No, it was of no use. He needed Shark Tooth! Now!

And if he couldn't get any of the Shark Tooth in their possession, he would have to get it somewhere else.

And with that thought, he took off.

* * *

_Booyakasha!_

The word still rang in her ears as Karai drifted into darkness. This stupid, stupid word! Nearly as stupid as the mutant who loved to use it as a battle cry. And it didn't even have a meaning.

_Booyakasha!_

Like that would make any opponent tremble in fear! He could yell "Peanut butter!" instead and it would have the same effect.

Karai felt a laugh built inside her, rumbling in her chest. She tried to let it out – and it hurt.

It hurt? How could it hurt? She was dying! No, she was already dead, so how could anything hurt?

She tried to open her eyes, blink away the heavy black curtains that were covering her eyes. And guess what? Even that hurt. But she continued, fighting her way through the darkness.

If this was heaven, she sure had to inform some people that it wasn't all that good if you still were hurting here. Thinking of it, that probably meant she wasn't in heaven. What about hell? But no, she wasn't hurting enough to be there either.

But she had to be dead. Rahzar had been about to land his final blow, sending her right into the afterlife, but something must have gone terribly wrong, because if she wasn't hurting enough to be in hell and hurting too much to be in heaven, there was only one possibility left – she was still alive.

And with that she finally managed to open her eyes which sent a jolt of pain through her body and she winced. Why did being alive have to hurt so much?

She just stared into the darkness until it slowly faded away and was replaced by shadows, black and gray ones, and the shadows turned into colors and shapes and she realized that she was in a room, lying on a bed. Her whole body was aching, but the one side more than the rest of it. She looked around her, searching for something that would help her to put this puzzle together, the puzzle of what-had-happened and which pieces were scattered all around in her brain.

And then she saw him. Now that her brain was starting to work again, she would have counted on Leonardo or one of his treacherous brothers, but she sure hadn't thought _he_ would be there, leaning against the wall and looking at her.

Fury washed over her, red and hot, and if her body wouldn't have been aching this much, hurting and complaining about each possible movement beforehand, she sure would have tried to attack him.

After all, he had taken everything from her. He had killed her mother, he had tried to kill her father, herself, and still he was standing there, looking at her, breathing.

She wanted him to hurt as much as she had hurt, she wanted him to feel all this pain, but there was nothing she could do. Not now.

So she just returned his look, staring into his eyes, but the fury, the anger was burning in her eyes, showing all the bad she wished on him almost too clearly, at least for someone who was able to read eyes.

And Splinter wasn't illiterate when it came to that.

He just gave her the tiniest nod, a welcoming gesture, a gesture to show her that he didn't mean her any harm.

Karai let her eyes wander over him, his brown fur, the hands with claw-like fingers, the big ears, the ridiculous beard, the eyes that seemed to hold the remains of humanity although their color was far from what it once had been when he had been human.

At least fate seemed to have had an understanding, taking away his humanity and leaving him as this hideous beast. It was just fair, Karai thought, after all what he had done.

But it so wasn't enough. Even though fate had taken away his human form, it still had rewarded him with four sons, green and just as ridiculous as he was, but still, sons, a family.

And it made Karai's heart twinge with envy when she thought about it. She was far from having a family, she was alone.

Splinter on the other hand had four sons and this stupid April O'Neil as his "adopted" daughter. He still had so much after all what he had done, and she had nothing!

Another wave of anger washed over her, and she winced once more as she tried to move.

It was of no use. She couldn't move. She had to wait.

But there was something in Splinter's features, she realized now, that was different from what she remembered from that night on the roof top all these years ago. He looked scrubbier and there was some gray on his snout.

She smirked, ignoring the pain this sent through her, easing it out with satisfaction.

"You've grown old, rat," she said.

Splinter just looked at her for another moment, then gave another one of his slight nods.

"I am going to tell Donatello that you have awoken," he said.

And with that he pushed off the wall and turned around to leave the room.

Karai watched his every move closely. Ha! He was even moving slower than she remembered.

_This is going to be easy_ , she thought. _The rat has grown old! I won't have to wait that long!_

* * *

Once Splinter had left the lab and closed the door, he leaned on his staff heavily, letting out a deep, shaky breath.

Sure, he had known that the Shredder had contaminated his daughter with lots and lots of lies, but the anger and the fury in her eyes after all these years, after the joy he had felt when he had heard that Miwa, no, Karai was still alive, was just too much to take right now. He took another shaky breath, fighting to not lose the control over his body to sadness and despair, fighting to not break down here and now.

"Sensei!" Leonardo called out suddenly from the couch where had been trying to get a little rest and rushed over to Splinter. "Are you okay?"

"I will be," Splinter replied. "Get your brother, tell Donatello that Karai is awake and needs medical treatment."

"But sensei…"

Splinter finally looked up and into his son's concerned face.

"Everything is going to be alright, Leonardo," he assured him, forcing himself to smile. "Karai and I…we both just need some time to heal."


	11. The Anger Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karai is so angry and finds a way to make herself feel a little better.

With a groan Raph staggered to his feet.

Heck, that had been one hell of a trip, he thought, as he shook his head fiercely to get rid of the last bit of numbness. Whatever had been in that Shark Tooth-pill, it hadn't been Shark Tooth alone.

Raph made a mental note that next time, he'd make sure to mug a Purple Dragon for Shark Tooth, not some unlucky addict already halfway in delirium. Who knew what these creeps used to bulk up their pills whenever they got hold on some real Shark Tooth? Obviously, the real stuff was too rare for them to swallow it just like that. They _had_ to bulk it up.

On the other hand, it had been pretty easy to get the rest of his pills from this addict who had constantly called Raph the "Green God Hulk" and only Raph's iron grip on his collar had kept him from going down on his knees and revering his new god. He had just handed over his pills when Raph had told him, calling them a "humble offering from an unworthy subject".

Raph hadn't even frowned at that, just taken the pills and gotten away from that filthy side street as fast as he had been able to.

He slowly walked over to the door of the toolshed he had been hiding in, the creak it let hear when he opened it made him wince.

Gosh, his head hurt.

He had a look outside and realized it was still dark outside. This meant he had only been out of it for a few hours.

He reached for the doorframe for support as his knees went all wobbly and slowly let himself slide into a sitting position on the floor.

He had only been gone for a few hours, so one more hour wouldn't hurt. He just needed to be sure that his knees wouldn't give in on his way back home.

He definitely needed to wait a little longer, but in an hour he would be okay again. He gently touched his forehead with his hand in an attempt to make the pain fade away a little and hissed. Or maybe in two hours.

* * *

When he finally entered the lair later that night, he found himself in Mikey's arms in the moment he had pushed past the turnstiles.

"Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaph! You're okay!"

Raph just frowned at that and looked over to Leo who approached them, his eyes full of concern and relief.

"You're back," Leo said.

"Apparently," Raph replied.

Mikey let go of him and looked in Raph's face.

"We were so worried!"

"Oh, come on, Mikey, I can take care of myself!"

"We know that, Raph," Leo said with a sigh. "But seriously, what were you thinking? We were about to go looking for you!"

"Huh?" Raph blinked a few times. Weren't they a little overreacting?

"Come on, guys!" He rolled his eyes. "I've only been gone for a few hours and you all act like you had already been planning my funeral!"

"Raph," Leo said sternly, "you have been gone for a day. And you're lucky, sensei has barely left his room after Karai woke up or else he would be even more worried than he already is. I think sensei is going through enough as things are at the moment. He shouldn't have to worry about one of his sons gone missing."

Raph was standing there, his eyes wide, his hands clenched into fists. One day? He had been gone for _one day_!? He felt anger churning his stomach.

"Well, then don't tell sensei I was gone for one lousy day, and he wouldn't have to worry," he said coldly, pushed past his brothers and went to his room.

* * *

The next days passed without anything unusual happening. Raph was avoiding his brothers, Donnie was taking care of Karai and working on his projects, Leo was training and silently checking on Splinter every now and then, Splinter was spending most of the time in his room meditating, April was helping Mikey in the kitchen, and Mikey was trying his best to keep the oppressing atmosphere at bay by cooking delicious meals and making jokes every now and then.

Karai didn't know anything of this. Heck, she didn't even know how long she had been lying in this stupid bed in this stupid lab. She only knew that she was feeling the tiniest bit better.

But that didn't change anything about the fact that she hated it here. The rat hadn't dared to show his furry face again and she was fine with it. Seeing him would have made the urge to attack him nearly unbearable and she needed to heal before she could even think about it.

So far, only Donatello and Michelangelo had been in the lab, watching over her, and while Donatello just stuck to checking on her wounds and her medication, Michelangelo always tried to make a little conversation by talking to her and asking her how she was feeling. She never dignified him with an answer, though, but that didn't stop him from telling her how his day had been and how much he missed video games and new comics to read and Antonio's pizza.

Such a stupid little turtle! Like his stories and cheerfulness would ever change the way she felt about them.

She hated them, all of them. Okay, some of them more than the others, but if she had the chance she would kill them all without even thinking about it.

Splinter still was the number one on her hate-list for what he had done to her. Then came Leonardo for betraying her, then April O'Neil for being so super-special. The rest of them were pretty much tied on fourth place. They weren't that important.

Karai opened her eyes when the door to the lab was opened – and immediately knitted her brow angrily when she saw the number three on her hate-list entered.

_April O'Neil!_

Oh, Karai hated her so much for not having to fight for anything in her life. All of it simply fell into her lap – her mutant friends, her training with a great ninja master, and she wasn't even trying! Karai on the other hand always had to fight – for her father's attention, for becoming the second in command, for taking revenge. And even if she had tried her best, she had failed. Often. Too often, maybe. That was the reason she hated April so much. April had always been leading an easy life while Karai always had to fight to keep her life a little bit normal.

Did anyone even have the slightest idea how hard it had been to get a hug from her father every now and then, how hard it had been to make him smile? And still, she was missing him like crazy.

And all she could do now for him was taking revenge on Splinter for all the things he had done to them. She would do this for her father, yes, but also for herself. Splinter needed to pay. And he was so going to pay!

And so were the others. And when this was done, she would try another assault on Rahzar. But Splinter and his family were more important at the moment. The revenge on Rahzar was only her business, the revenge on Splinter was hers and her father's.

By the time she had finished that thought April had reached Karai's bed.

"You need any more painkillers?" April asked.

"Mind your own business, O'Neil!" Karai replied.

"I take that as a no," April simply said.

Karai just glared at her. The anger that had started to burn in her stomach when she had set eyes on April had now reached her chest, pressing uneasily against her lungs, making her heart pound.

And there was nothing she could do to make this any easier. There was no way she could get rid of that anger right now.

Or maybe there was. Now that she thought of it, there was one weapon that maybe wasn't as deadly as steal, but it still could hurt her opponents if she used it wisely, a weapon she could still wield although she couldn't move properly. And this weapon was words.

Sure, words wouldn't make her enemies bleed, but wounds to the soul could hurt just as much as wounds to the flesh, sometimes even a little more. Karai knew from experience.

"Sooooooo, O'Neil," she drawled, her voice too sweet to be for real, "how does it feel to be responsible for all that has happened to New York City?"

The serious look on April's face turned into a surprised one for a split second, but she got a hold on it almost immediately. But this tiny moment her eyes had widened in surprise was something Karai could dwell on for days now.

"I am not responsible for what has happened to New York City," April replied, her face and voice all serious again.

"Oh, is that so?" Karai smirked.

"It was the Kraang and a clone."

"Well, I see it that way, O'Neil," Karai said, the words dripping from her lips like sweet poison. "If it hadn't been for your DNA, New York would never have been mutated in the first place. Without you, the Kraang would never have been able to create a clone powerful enough to mutate the city. So it all happened because of you, and because of you alone." The smirk on her face grew deeper although her eyes were burning with anger. "So how does it feel, O'Neil, to see this city fall into chaos because of _you_ , how does it feel to watch all these mutants and half-mutants wandering around in the city, knowing that they would still be normal people without _you_?"

The smirk on Karai's face disappeared completely when she continued, all the anger and the hatred clearly hearable in her voice, "And yet you don't even have the courage to take responsibility for it by ending your stupid little life."

April took a step back as if someone had hit her in the face. Another thing Karai would dwell on for days, as was the fact that she could hear April gasp for air silently.

The redhead turned on her heels and marched for the door.

"Oh, you're running away, O'Neil?" Karai asked sweetly. "Yeah, that's what you always could do best."

The moment April closed the door, Karai let out a deep pleasant sigh. Her little victory made her feel so much better.

* * *

When April had closed the door, she could feel the tears burning in her eyes, but she did her best to blink them away, trying hard to get to her room before she couldn't fight them back any longer, but she only made it through half the living room, before she broke down, sinking to her knees, breaking out into tears.

"April?"

It was only the sudden amount of tears that kept her anger at bay, that out of all the people living in the lair _Donnie_ had to find her like this.

"Go…away, Donnie," she said, her words interrupted by sobs.

Donnie stood there for a few moments, watching how April's body was shaken by sobs.

He knew he should go now. He should leave her alone like he had done when she cried over the loss of her father on the day of his return. But he couldn't. He only was strong enough to watch her cry without doing anything once, he sure lacked the strength to do that one more time.

He kneeled down next to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. He could feel her stiffen under his touch, but then carefully grabbed her arms. He hesitated a bit, before he clasped her in his arms.

April stiffened a little more and tried to wiggle free, but Donnie didn't let go of her. His brothers maybe were able to let her cry her eyes out without giving her comfort, just because she said they should leave her alone, that she didn't need anyone, but he knew better than that. Maybe he knew her even better than she herself did, what she needed right now.

And when April after a few moments gave up her resistance, wrapping her arms around his shell and pressing her face against his plastron, he knew he had been right.

He was just sitting there, holding her, and nothing could have made him let go of her. Another invasion of Earth could have started right next to him, but he wouldn't even have moved a muscle. This was about April, and only her. And as long as she needed him, he would be there.

He didn't care about what was going on between her and Casey right now, why they were hiding from him, he didn't care about that strange mutant that sometimes lurked in the living rooms when they had locked themselves away in the lab, he didn't care about creating a retromutagen or that Raph had finally returned after his one-day-absence. All he cared about right now, was making April feel better. He could care about all these other things when this was done.

He saw a movement from the corner of his eye and shifted his head a little to find Leo standing at the stairs leading to the dojo. He watched them for a moment, then nodded into Donnie's direction and left again.

And then Donnie's thoughts were completely consumed by April again, by her tears dampening his plastron, her sobs, her arms holding him in a tight grip.

He had no idea how long they had been sitting like this, but when he felt the tension go from April and her sobs become more and more silent until he only could hear her breathe normally, when her tears were dried up, he relinquished his grip. And when April unfolded her arms from around his shell and moved to get up, he let finally let go of her.

April just rose to her feet, her eyes pinned to the floor, and her mouth pressed into a hard line.

In that moment, he knew she was shutting him out of her life again.

"Thanks," she mumbled tonelessly and marched off to her room.

He didn't even have the chance to say anything.

* * *

Casey had no idea how long he had been in this dark room already. All he remembered was drifting off to sleep and waking up again and listening to Hope's silent voice and talking to her.

He wasn't in as much pain as he had been at the beginning, he realized when he woke up this day. Or this night. Or whatever time of the day it actually was.

His bonds had been removed some time ago, but he still didn't feel strong enough to sit up – let alone trying to get out of bed without any help. But he was sick of this darkness and the silence.

When the door was opened and he saw a familiar figure enter the room, a warm smile appeared on Casey's face.

"Hey there, Hope!" he greeted her. "How are you doing?"

"I am doing fine," Hope replied, her voice just a whisper, as always. "How are you doing?"

"Better," Casey said. "Actually, I think you can cut out the silent voice now. My head isn't hurting that much any longer. And how about some light? You've been taking care of me for quite a while now and I still dunno what you look like."

"I am sorry, Casey," Hope whispered after a moment of silence. "I don't dare any of those things without talking to our medic first."

Casey twisted his mouth. "Uhm, okay. Could you ask him then? Please?"

"I will," Hope assured him. "But first, you'll eat your dinner."

_Dinner?_ , Casey thought. _Well, I at least know now what time it must be. Not having any sunlight really, really sucks when you're used to living on a farm._

"Of course!" he said with a smile.

And with that Hope sat down next to his bed on a stool and started feeding him some sort of porridge Casey really didn't want to know what it was made of. But he ate it nonetheless. He had eaten better things, that was for sure, but he had eaten worse as well, so that was okay.

When he had swallowed the last of it, Hope got up.

Casey felt very tired all of a sudden, like he always did when he had finished his meals. If eating was still this exhausting, maybe it would take him a very long time to get his old from back, he thought.

He heard Hope whisper something, but he already was half-asleep, so he didn't know what to reply, so he didn't say anything.

And when Hope closed the door, Casey was fast asleep already.

* * *

The man was pushed to his knees in a room only lit by a big fire to his left. He looked up to the two men that had dragged him here and then watched around the room. The fire sent shadows dancing on the walls, shadows of he didn't know how many people that were standing around him and the two men in a circle.

"Wh-what is going on here?" he asked fearfully.

A woman stepped out of the circle, went over to him, a woman wearing a long coat.

"This is your trial," the woman explained as she kneeled down in front of him. "If you pass, you shall be human again, if you don't, we are going to treat you like we treat all mutants."

"I-I'm no mutant!"

"Really?" the women asked. "Then what about this?"

And she grabbed his left hand and held it up so it was clearly visible in the shine of the fire. It was no human hand, it was blue and callused and the fingers resembled claws.

"I-I don't know! It turned that way over the years," he said quickly. "I heard something about dangerous pollination in the radio, but I thought that was just a rumor."

"I see," the woman said. "Then we are going to treat you as a human."

And with that she got back to her feet.

"Lady," the man said, grabbing her coat with his right, still human hand. "You said, I can be human again. Can I? Can you make this go away?" He nodded at his mutant hand.

"We most certainly can," she said, and the man let out a cry of relief.

"Thank you!" he said, letting go of her coat and burying his face in his human hand, crying. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

The woman just nodded to the two men still standing next to him, and then turned around and walked a few feet away.

"Heh, what are you doing?" she heard the man call out, followed by the clinking sound of steal being unsheathed. "Nonono! You can't do this! Noooooo!"

And then there was a loud thud as the blade met flesh and bone, and the man let out an ear-piercing cry of pain.

He was still crying when the smell of burning flesh filled the room.


	12. Words and Weapons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because her “strike” against April was so successful, Karai decides to make use of her new weapon again - words.

Leo stopped in the doorway. The two tea cups on the tray he was carrying replied to that with a little cling. The pot of freshly brewed tea exhaled a pleasant aroma and brushed Leo's cheeks when he leaned forward to peek into the dojo.

Maybe, if he tried really, really hard, he could convince himself that this was just another evening of him and his sensei drinking some tea together in the dojo and chatting a little.

But there still was this dark thought lurking in the back of his head, the thought of Karai, lying wounded in the lab, the thought of Karai still hating them, the thought of Karai still being their enemy.

And the moment he set eyes on his sensei, Leo knew that no matter how hard he tried, he would never be able to imagine that this was just a normal evening. It just wasn't normal what was going on here, and everything in Splinter's posture showed it. He wasn't kneeling in front of their family shrine like he usually did when he was meditating, upright, calm. No, today his back was bent the tiniest bit, something someone who didn't know Splinter as long as Leo did would have missed, but for Leo, the difference stood out a mile. Also, the calm look on Splinter's face wasn't the same. There was a small frown, and his eyes were squeezed shut, not just closed. And to Leo, it seemed like there was a dark aura around his sensei, a sign of the thoughts that were troubling, of the nightmares that were haunting him.

Leo lowered his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, preparing himself for a tea time that was anything but the usual.

Then he marched over to his sensei.

Splinter didn't move, but the moment Leo put down the tray and sat down next to him, he opened his eyes and turned to his son.

"Good evening, Leonardo," he said with a smile, and Leo frowned a little when he realized that even this smile seemed a bit agonized and not as warm and welcoming as Splinter's smiles used to be when Leo visited him for having tea together.

"Good evening, sensei," Leo replied, mustering up a smile. "I brought some tea."

And with that he poured his sensei a cup and handed it to him. Splinter accepted with a slight nod and sipped his tea while Leo poured another cup for himself.

They sat there for a moment in silence, each of them thinking their gloomy thoughts.

Leo choked a sigh. This so wasn't their usual tea time of chatting and warm and welcome feelings or of just being together with not saying anything. This was totally different.

Leo usually had no problem with silence. Actually, he was the only one of the brothers who had no problems with silence, who could appreciate it. Raph started working out when he had the feeling it was too silent, Mikey started babbling about random things. Donnie was the one who was closest to Leo when it came to silence, but not because he really appreciated it, but because he needed it to work on his projects, to think his genius thoughts. Leo was the only one who could just sit there and enjoy it, who could spend hours being silent, doing nothing, and sometimes, Splinter and he were silent together in the dojo when they had their tea time, and they both appreciated it.

But things were totally different today. This was no pleasant silence, the kind of silence that enwrapped you with a warm feeling, this silence here was bad and dark and cold, and it scared Leo.

"H-how are you doing, sensei?" Leo finally asked when he couldn't bear it any longer. He had never felt the urge to break silence as powerful as he had done right now, and his words echoed in his head.

Boy, things were sooooo different today.

"I am fine, Leonardo," Splinter replied.

"Okay," Leo said. "Y-you have barely left dojo after….you know, so I…we were a little worried."

Splinter closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.

"Things are a bit…complicated at the moment, Leonardo," he said after a moment. "But I am positive that we will be able to figure them out. All we need is time."

Leo nodded slightly, and they spent a few minutes in silence again, but there still was the topic of Karai between them, and Leo knew he couldn't leave his sensei today without bringing it up.

"About Karai," he said then, "what are we going to do? She needs to know the truth."

"Yes, Leonardo, she does." Splinter sighed again. "But I am afraid that all these lies Shredder has told her over the years have clouded her judgment. I don't think that she would believe me when I told her that I am her true father. You tried this already, Leonardo, and she didn't believe you. And she wouldn't believe me either if I just told her. She isn't ready for the truth yet, Leonardo."

"So we are just going to wait till she is ready, sensei?" Leo's eyes widened in surprise. "W-what if she never gets ready because she doesn't _want_ to know the truth?"

"I don't know, Leonardo." Splinter squeezed his eyes shut with a painful look on his face, skimming over his forehead with a hand.

"Sensei, can't we prove that you are her true father?"

Splinter opened his eyes again and looked into his son's worried eyes.

"Not yet, I'm afraid," he replied. "If I measure her up correctly, and I think I do, she is so biased by all these lies that had been her life so far, that I think she would dismiss any proof we have as something we made up."

Leo thought about that for a moment. "She can be stubborn," he admitted.

Splinter nodded. "And as long as there isn't even the smallest crack in the walls she has built around her, there isn't much we can do."

"I understand, sensei," Leo said and took another sip of his tea.

"All we can do now is making her understand that we don't see her as our enemy any longer, trying to make her feel welcome. And maybe, one day, she is going to be ready for the truth. We just need time."

Leo nodded again. "Hai sensei."

* * *

Karai was lying in her bed in the lab and trying really, really hard to block Michelangelo's constant babbling out. He had entered the lab in what felt ages ago, asking if she needed something, and when she had replied with a shake of her head, he hadn't just left like Donatello would after he had checked on her wounds, no, Michelangelo had sat down on a stool next to her bed and started talking.

Okay, she should have known. It was the third time in a row he did that, and she had always managed to ignore him. And eventually, he had stopped and left the lab again, but somehow it was more difficult to ignore him today.

Did he _ever_ stop talking?

Karai rolled her eyes, not caring if he saw or not, and actually, Mikey realized.

"Oh, yes, I know," he said. "I rolled my eyes too when Leo told me that I should distract them _again_ , but hey, what can I say? Chaos and distraction is what I do best!"

Did he really just think of her eyes-roll as a reaction to his story of a mission from weeks ago? As if she was listening! Okay, she _was_ listening, because his voice was super-annoying today, but she didn't want to listen! She just couldn't block him out today! Heck!

Her muscles tensed when he went into a detailed description of why he chose to use this or that firecracker because this one made more noise while the other one produced more sparks, and it sent a jolt of pain through her battered body, but she refused to show it and instead bit down her tongue to prevent the painful moan to leave her mouth.

She had to do something! She was going to go nuts if she had to listen to him any longer!

And then she remembered how well she had done with O'Neil by using her words as a weapon, the only weapon she had left right now. A little smirk appeared on her face when she remembered the redhead's startled look, the split second she had shown how painfully that strike of Karai's had actually hit her. Oh, this had been so much fun!

And she was going to make sure that her attack on Michelangelo would be just as much fun.

She turned her head to face the orange-masked turtle.

"So you are the expert when it comes to chaos and distraction?" she asked.

"Oh, look who has finally started talking to me!" Mikey called out with a big grin. "I knew you'd come around! No one can resist my exciting stories for too long." He chuckled. "And yes, I am the chaos and distraction-expert, always the first one to strike! And I am doing an awesome job!"

"Always the first one to strike, huh?" Karai repeated. "So Leo is using you as bait?"

"No, as a chaos and distraction-expert," Mikey corrected her. "I thought I was clear about that."

"Let me get this straight," Karai said. "Leo sends you in first when he needs someone to distract your opponents so that they would attack you first or go after the chaos and distraction caused by you, meaning you are doing the most dangerous job during a mission." She looked at Mikey with the best fake sympathetic look she could muster up. "Oh, this must be hard."

"Hard? No, no, no, it's pretty easy, really," Mikey replied. He straightened up in his seat into a self-confident pose. "I am really good at this, I am _the_ expert!" He pointed at his chest with a thumb with an extra broad grin on his face.

"No, no, that's not what I meant," Karai said. "What I meant was that it must be hard to know that your brother thinks of you as _expandable_."

Mikey's self-conscious pose shattered to pieces within a second. The big grin was simply swept away from his face, and he slouched his shoulders, looking at Karai with wide eyes.

"What?"

Karai couldn't help herself, but imagine him as a poor little puppy that had been hit for the first time in his life, and she had to fight back a giggle.

"Oh, you didn't know?" she asked in a surprised voice. "I thought it was so obvious. And I thought you were brave, having to deal with all of this and still being so cheerful and nice to your brother."

"I am…brave," Mikey mumbled.

"Of course you are!" Karai replied. "But it looks like you're expandable, too."

The word was ringing in Mikey's head and he stiffly got to his feet.

"I gotta go," he said.

"Bye, Mikey!" Karai said in her sweetest voice. "We gotta do this again soon!"

Mikey didn't reply to that and just walked out of the lab, and the moment, the door was closed, Karai couldn't hold back any longer and chuckled.

Oh, yes, they definitely should do that again soon! This was so much fun!

* * *

Raph was giving the practice dummy a proper beat down for quite some time now.

Ever since he had come back from his one day-absence after taking this bulked up Shark Tooth he had tried his best to keep himself busy – and away from Donnie. Donnie knew too much and he was watching Raph with these worried eyes Raph truly couldn't stand.

But aside from that, things were okay. Leo had bought Raph's story that he had been wandering around in the sewers, trying to keep moving as long as he had felt angry and that he had simply forgotten the time which was pretty understandable, given the fact that there was only rare sunlight down in the sewers. He would have patted himself on the shoulder for coming up with such a reasonable explanation if it hadn't made Leo suspicious. So he had apologized and Leo had accepted.

They hadn't spoken about Karai, both of them tiptoeing around that topic, but Raph didn't want to bring it up. It would only make him angry again, and thus increase his need for Shark Tooth. And so he was rather thankful that Leo didn't seem to want to talk about it himself.

So Raph had set for the "stay as calm as possible"-strategy. And working out helped him staying calm.

When he heard Mikey leave the lab, an idea formed in his head. Hitting a practice dummy was fair enough, but hitting someone who could hit back was even better. Maybe he could talk Mikey into a sparring session.

"Hey, Mikey," he addressed his little brother. "Are you in for a little sparring? We could go topside and add a little stealth-lesson or…" The words died in his mouths when he turned his head to look at Mikey. Mikey's eyes were lowered to the ground, and he had such a sad look on his face.

"Mikey?" Raph asked. "You okay?"

Mikey looked at Raph, and Raph's heart gave a twinge when he saw the tears glistening in Mikey's eyes.

"Raph, do you…do you think I'm expandable?" he asked.

"What? No!" Raph called out. "Why would I think that?"

"Because…because…" Mikey took a deep breath, but it was of no use as he couldn't fight back the tears any longer.

Raph was by his side in no time, placing a hand on Mikey's shoulder.

"Mikey? Wha-what's wrong?"

"I'm always…the one…responsible for…distraction," Mikey sobbed. "And I thought it was because I'm good at this! But it means I am the one exposed to danger the most. And that's what you do to people that are expandable – expose them to danger!"

"No, Mikey, no…Who…who said that? That's stupid!"

"Karai did! And she's right!"

Even more tears were running down Mikey's cheeks now, and he was shaken so badly by his sobs, it was impossible for him to speak up again.

Raph watched this for a few moments before he did the only thing he could think of right now – pulling Mikey into an embrace, just holding him, trying to give him comfort.

And when Mikey seemed to have calmed the tiniest bit, Raph spoke up again.

"Listen there, Mikey," he said. "She lied to you. And yes, she's pretty good at it, but no wonder considering her upbringing. But you gotta believe me, Karai is never right!"

He could feel Mikey relax a little bit, but it didn't help with the anger that was burning in his chest now.

And if it had been up to him, he would have marched over to the lab, grabbed Karai and dropped her off somewhere deep down the sewers, leaving her to her fate and hoping that this hideous monster that was living down there would find her, but unfortunately, things weren't up to him.

He needed to talk to Leo! Now!

But at that moment, Mikey sobbed loudly again, and Raph had to rethink that.

_Or as soon as Mikey has calmed down…_

* * *

Leo had just put down the tray with the empty cups and pot on the counter when Raph entered the kitchen.

"We gotta do something about Karai!" he called out immediately.

Leo looked at his brother, dumbfounded, and blinked a few times. But then he took a deep breath and started putting the crockery into the sink.

"I talked to sensei about this," he said then. "We have to give her time and then try to tell her the truth about her origin."

"Time?" Raph replied angrily. "You really want to give her more time to make our life miserable!? You know what she told Mikey today!? That we think of him as expandable! And you said that April was crying after checking on her yesterday. This needs to stop! We gotta do something!"

"And what exactly do you want me to do, Raph? Get rid of her?"

Raph shrugged. "For example."

Leo froze for a second, but then swung around.

"She's badly hurt, Raph, we can't just get rid of her!" he said.

"So you really want to let this _snake_ lurk in our lair, waiting for the right moment to strike and in the meantime poison us all with her words!?"

"Raph, she's our sensei's daughter. And she needs to know the truth. We have to wait until she's ready."

"Ready? Ready to kill us or what!?"

"Ready to accept the truth."

"She'll never be ready for that! No matter who her true father is, she's _Shredder's_ daughter! And she'll try to kill us all as soon as she gets the chance! You really want to give her that chance?"

"I want her to see the truth."

"You're blinded by your feelings, Leo, and you'll get us all killed!" Leo's ignorance had fueled Raph's anger even more, and he was breathing heavily by now.

"Raph, sensei and I agreed that…"

"Sensei's blinded by his feelings, too!" Raph interrupted. "Am I the only one who can see the truth? Wake up, Leo! She'll kill us!"

Leo took a calming breath. "Raph, I can understand your fear..."

"Fear!? There's no fear, Leo, only the truth!"

Leo looked his brother over, the anger burning in Raph's eyes, his muscles tensed, and he knew that reason wouldn't him bring anywhere. He hated to do this.

"Raph, as your leader, I'm saying that Karai stays," he said in a calm voice, but his voice had this cold ring to it, he only added when talking in his leader's voice.

"Leo, I…"

"Karai stays!" Leo raised his voice just a little bit, but it was enough to stymie Raph.

So instead of saying something, he just turned around with an angry growl and stormed out of the kitchen.

* * *

Raph walked past Donnie on his way to his room, and the anger radiating from him made Donnie stop with a frown. He looked after Raph as he disappeared into his room. Donnie knew he should just walk away. Dealing with an angry Raph had never been his thing, but he had also realized the haunted look in Raph's eyes, and he knew that Raph probably was longing for some Shark Tooth right now.

Donnie had watched worriedly how Raph had acted the past days. Heck, he had stayed away one whole day and had told Leo that he had simply forgotten the time in the dark sewers, but Donnie knew this had been a lie. He was the only one who knew Raph's secret, and he couldn't watch this any longer.

He steeled himself for what was lying ahead of him and walked over to Raph's room.

Raph was pacing up and down his room. Oh, he was so angry again, so, so angry!

He felt the anger burning even more inside him – and with it the growing need for Shark Tooth, to simply swallow one of these pills and escape all of this for a little while, to just see these beautiful colors, not feel this anger, forget about Karai, forget about Leo's stupidity, and just _be_ for a little while.

There was a knock on his door, but he didn't ask whoever it was in because if it was Leo, he wasn't sure what he would do.

There was another knock, and Raph just growled. "Go away!"

But whoever it was didn't get the message, and instead the door opened.

"Heh, didn't you hear me, L…," Raph began, but then realized that it was Donnie and stopped pacing. "Oh, it's you."

But now that he set eyes on the worried look on Donnie's face, Raph wasn't sure if this was any better if it had been Leo. It sure didn't calm him down.

"Yes, just me," Donnie replied.

He stood there for a moment, fumbling for words.

No, Raph thought, this wasn't any better than Leo. He just couldn't stand that worried look on Donnie's face.

"What is it, Donnie? I'm busy!" he said angrily.

"I…uhm…I wondered if you need…uhm…help," Donnie stammered.

Raph just looked at him with wide eyes. "What?"

"Look, if you need some substitute to get away from that Shark Tooth, I'm sure, I can figure something out. Just give me a little time and I…"

"Time?" Raph gave a bitter laugh. "It looks like that's what everyone needs around here. Time!"

"Please, Raph," Donnie said, walking over to his brother. "Let me help you!"

"I don't need help!"

Donnie lifted his hand, reaching out for his brother.

But before his hand could touch Raph's shoulder, Raph swept away his hand and suddenly turned to face his brother with the angriest glare Donnie had ever seen on him, and being Raph, this meant something.

"Raph, please…," Donnie tried again.

"I said I don't need help!" Raph yelled, and before Donnie could react, Raph punched him with all his strength. Donnie was hurled backwards, hitting the closed door of Raph's room hard, and wood cracked as he went through it, hitting the floor of the corridor with a loud thud.

Raph was standing there, gasping for air and watching him with wide eyes, trying to grasp what had just happened.

Donnie was lying there, looking back at Raph. He didn't care about what had just happened, he didn't care about the approaching footsteps as Leo and Mikey ran over to him, he didn't care about Leo asking him if he was okay, he barely heard it. All he cared about at the moment was the frightened look on Raph's face. But within seconds the frightened look turned into an angry one and Raph stepped through the hole in the door.

He marched past them, ignoring Leo's questions, ignoring Mikey calling him, ignoring Donnie's worried look, he just marched, gaining speed with every step until he was running. He jumped over the turnstiles and then kept running, and running, and running, running away from all of this, from Karai in their lab, from Leo's stupidity, from Donnie's worried looks, he just ran and ran as fast as he could.


	13. Stumbling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After throwing Donnie through a closed door, Raph has taken off. April tries to find him and bring him back.

April sat up with a start when she heard the crashing sound of wood, and within seconds she was at the door of her room, looking outside. She watched how Leo and Mikey bent over Donnie and how Raph took off, she heard Mikey call after him, and she watched how Mikey and Leo helped Donnie to his feet and guided him to his room.

Something was totally wrong here, and while she knew that Donnie was in good hands, something needed to be done about Raph. He was the one who could get himself into danger most easily when anger clouded his mind, and she could still feel how his anger was vibrating in the air.

She usually didn't go topside, she had barely left the lair since what had happened to her father, but this was important. She somehow knew.

She quickly grabbed her tessen and left for the exit of the lair.

Raph was already far away, but April had been training all these years with Splinter. She knew how she could reach out for him with her mind, an ability she had often used when she had searched her father, only knowing from the tracking device that he had to be around there somewhere. His exact position had been easier to detect when she had used her mind instead of the radar.

And it had always worked, except for the times when the tracking device had fallen off and she had gone by her abilities alone. And except for this last time when she had thought that she couldn't feel him because he had lost his tracking device again, only to find out that he had been there, but there hadn't been anything left for her to reach out for with her mind because her father…

She quickly shook her head, trying to lock these thoughts away in the back of her head. This was about Raph. And Raph most obviously needed help. She didn't know how she knew that, she just did.

And with that she started following the path Raph's mind had left for her.

* * *

Raph was running and running and still running. His lungs were already burning, and every step hurt, but he didn't care. There still was this anger churning inside him, and there was no way he could stop before it had faded away. He stumbled, but could break his fall, and then he was running again.

But still, it didn't help with the lava-like anger in his stomach. And so he kept running. Just a little more, just a few more feet or miles or… who cared? He needed to run, to forget, forget what he had done.

Heck, he had punched his own brother so hard, he had fallen through a closed door!

And Raph didn't even remember how he had done it. He remembered that he had been angry, so, so angry, and then his vision had went red, and the next thing he remembered was this big hole in his door and Donnie lying on the ground.

And he could have hurt Donnie even more seriously if his vision hadn't cleared again.

Gosh, what would the others think? What would the others _do_? There was this unwritten rule that they never fought each other except during training. Some bantering and a few teasing punches were okay – like slapping Mikey on the head when he said something stupid, for example –, but literally throwing your own brother out of your room through the closed door sure didn't qualify as bantering.

What had he done!? And what could he have done!?

Realizing he still had too much strength left to think all these thoughts, Raph gained some speed. He wanted to outrun all of this, he wanted to simply collapse soon and never wake up again, he wanted to…

He stumbled once more as he tried to run even faster, only this time, he couldn't break his fall, and he hit the ground hard. He was painting for air and every breath he took hurt, but he didn't care. Anything was better than thinking, so he tried to concentrate on his breathing, on the pain each breath caused, on his hurting limbs. He sat up into a kneeling position, letting his hands rest on his thighs, and just breathed.

And then he realized that his fall had at least dulled his anger, and the lava-like feeling had turned into one of a campfire. It was still there, but not as powerful and destructive as it had been before. And as long he didn't fuel it anymore, he was going to be okay.

He looked around him and realized he was on the rooftop with the toolshed where he had taken this unfortunate Shark Tooth-pill.

He didn't even remember when he had gone topside, had only concentrated on running, but here he was, right in front of his new haven. He had hidden the other pills from this drug addict in the toolshed, but he had never thought he would take one of them again after having been out of it for one day last time.

But being out of it for another day seemed so tempting at the moment. He could forget what he had done, he could forget the look on Donnie's face, he could forget Donnie's worried eyes, he could forget that Master Splinter would punish him for what had happened, he could forget that Karai was still with them. He could simply _forget_.

He staggered to his feet and stumbled over to the toolshed, his legs finally claiming a break and reminding him what his run had demanded from them with every step, as they hurt like crazy and felt like they weighed a ton.

He opened the door of the toolshed and stumbled inside. He knelt down next to the old broken lawn mower and reached underneath it, fumbling for the Shark Tooth-pills he had hidden there only to find his stock scavenged. His eyes widened. _No!_

He jumped to his feet and knocked the lawn mower flying and then he was on his knees again, sweeping the ground for his Shark Tooth-pills, but he couldn't find them. They were gone!

He leaned back, resting his carapace against the wall of the toolshed. Someone had stolen his Shark Tooth! He couldn't believe it!

No break from his thoughts, no break from his anger, just him and his thoughts and his anger! And he was too exhausted to mug another addict. The anger inside him was seething again, but he couldn't even move, he couldn't make it more bearable by running, he could only let it scorch his insides.

And at this thought, something else took over his insides, suppressing the burning anger with its darkness – despair. And where had been lava-like anger seconds ago was now a deep black hole of despair.

Raph buried his face in his hands and hot tears started running down his cheeks.

* * *

April stopped at the edge of a nearby roof. She looked down to the roof with the toolshed where she could feel Raph's presence. She could just jump over there, enter the toolshed and talk to him. But the thing was, now that she had found Raph she wasn't really sure what exactly she was doing here.

Back at the lair when he had taken off it had seemed like the right thing to do to follow him, but now she wasn't sure if it was. What should she say?

_Hey, Raph, realized you've thrown your brother through a closed door and thought I might check on you?_

_Hey, Raph, how ya doing after throwing your brother through a closed door?_

_Hey, Raph, do you feel better now after throwing your brother through a closed door?_

Okay, something told her she should leave out the "throwing your brother through a closed door"-part. But what else to say? She had absolutely no idea.

With a sigh she sat down, letting her feet dangle from the roof edge, staring down into the side street and letting the last rays of the setting sun tickle her face.

This was nice, actually, and she seemed to have forgotten how nice sunlight could be.

Why didn't she come up here more often, she asked herself. She really didn't know. Right after the Day she had often joined the brothers on their missions and patrols when they had tried to figure out what to do, when they had looked for the Kraang, when they had infiltrated what had been left of the Kraang-facility where they had kept April's clone and where the fate of Area M had taken its course. They had looked for the clone, they had looked for the Kraang, and they had found neither of them. They had searched the city, but the Kraang seemed to have disappeared. And same went for the clone although they had known right from the start that it wouldn't be easy to find one person among all the inhabitants of New York City, especially when panic had been the prevailing mood back then.

And the panic was still there, but it had changed into a constant fear of New York's inhabitants, and it was dulled by despair and hopelessness.

Despite all the sunshine, New York City, no, Area M was a dark place.

April sighed. But all the fear and despair and hopelessness hadn't been what had kept her back at the lair most of the times. It had been her anger, anger of what the Kraang had done to New York, her city. And over all these years she had the Kraang to make responsible for what had happened to New York, she had the Kraang to hate, she had the Kraang on which she could concentrate all her anger, she had the Kraang to plan her revenge on.

But during the first year after the Day, the Kraang hadn't even shown one tiny tentacle, and same had went for the six months that had followed, and the more time had passed without the Kraang showing up, the more they had understood that the Kraang were gone, that they had left New York City. They had found some of their equipment, though, but no Kraang-technology was working any longer, not after the Day.

Donnie had checked it, and it seemed that the mutation blow that had hit New York and its surrounding area had caused some sort of a short circuit and had ruined the equipment beyond repair. There hadn't even been anything left that he could have used for new inventions. The Kraang technology was lost.

When April had realized that her object of hate wasn't there any longer, that the Kraang had left New York or even the planet, she hadn't had any idea of what to do with her anger. She hadn't had any idea of what to do!

She couldn't just go out there every day and night like Leo and his brothers did, performing damage control and trying to make Area M a better place to live in. Area M was no good place to live in, it never would be!

A slight shiver ran through April's body as Karai's words echoed in her head.

_How does it feel to be responsible for all that has happened to New York City?_

No matter how much she hated Karai, she had a point there, and April had realized this the moment these words had left Karai's mouth.

The anger deep inside April hadn't only been directed against the Kraang, no, she had been angry with herself as well. Without her, New York City would still be New York City, and April had known that all along, she just had kept it locked away very well in the back of her head. And this was the reason her anger had never been anger alone. It always had had this undefinable feeling to it April hadn't been able to place, but now she knew it was guilt.

She felt guilty. And the fact that she couldn't do anything to change New York City back to normal, the fact that she couldn't punish the ones that had done this to her and to New York, just fueled her anger. But without anyone she could take her anger out on, it had become a thick, black mixture bubbling deep inside her, soaking up all her hope and positive thinking.

And so she had stayed at the lair, except for the times she had checked on her father and when Leo had asked for her help on missions, which he only did when he had no other choice, knowing that April wasn't fond of going topside anymore. She had trained and cooked and eaten and laughed and spent times with her new family, but it had all been damped by the growing darkness inside her.

But there was one thing that she had always held dear in all these years – her new family. After Donnie's departure to search for a cure, after being separated from her best friend, April had tried her best to hold what had been left of her family together. When Casey and his family had left to live outside New York things again had become even more difficult for her, but she had done a pretty good job so far, she thought. They still were a family although she needed to figure out how Donnie would fit in again. He somehow seemed out of place and April still had no idea why she was so angry with him.

But he was part of their family again, and even if Raph and he had their differences she sure wouldn't let this tear apart her family.

And this was the reason why she had gone after Raph – to get him back, to make her strange, little family whole again. They had to face so many difficulties already, a feud between brothers sure was no good to them right now – or ever.

She had no idea how she would do it, she felt the tiniest bit of anger for Raph for having shattered their not so idyllic world, but she would think of something. Raph had to come back, because then, things would be a little more bearable.

And with that she got back to her feet.

* * *

A knock on the door of the toolshed made Raph jump. He wasn't sure how much time had passed since he had arrived here, but he realized that he wasn't crying any longer. That was a plus, because whoever was out there shouldn't see him crying.

He pondered on who could be out there. It sure wasn't a Purple Dragon or a Foot ninja. They wouldn't knock. So who could that be? One of his brothers, maybe? But they had been too busy with Donnie, and he was sure that no one had followed him out of the lair, at least no one had come right after him. So whoever was out there must have been able to follow him although he hadn't left any visible trails.

And there was only one person left who could have found him here.

"Come in, April," he said.

The door opened and said redhead popped her head in. She gave a little smile and entered, closing the door behind her. She walked over to Raph and sat down next to him on the floor.

They didn't look at each other, just stared into space in silence.

Raph waited for April to speak up, but she didn't say anything, so he waited a little longer, until the silence was getting heavy between them.

"So your powers are still working," he said. "Wasn't sure because you only go topside every now and then. I thought you might be out of practice."

"I'm still training with Splinter," April replied. "And he makes sure my powers don't become stunted."

"I see," Raph said, and then there was this silence again, this heavy, uncomfortable silence.

"Argh! Don't you want to ask me what happened?!" Raph called out when he couldn't bear it any longer.

"I thought you were going to tell me if you wanted to talk about it," April said. She turned her head and looked at him. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Raph looked back at her, before he quickly turned his head away again.

"M-maybe," he replied. "I-I don't know, okay? I don't really know what happened, okay? Donnie came to talk to me and what he had to say made me so angry, and the next thing I know is that there was a hole in my door and Donnie was lying on the ground."

April just nodded at that, Raph realized from the corner of his eye.

"I lost it, April," Raph said in calmer voice. "I totally lost it! I could have hurt him, you know. I mean, really hurt him. This is…this is awful!"

"Well, it's not exactly what I would call love, peace and harmony, either," April admitted with a shrug.

Raph glanced at her. "Hey, aren't you here to make me feel better? Because it's not working."

"I just thought you might need some company," April replied.

"Maybe I do." Raph shrugged.

The next few moments passed in silence, but this time, it didn't feel uncomfortable or uneasy, because Raph knew that April hadn't come here to reproach him for hitting Donnie. He wasn't even sure why April was here. She was just sitting there next to him, not saying anything, but simply knowing that she was there, that she would listen if he spoke up made him feel a little bit better.

"You know, I didn't mean to hurt Donnie, right?" he said after a while.

"Sure," April replied. "But you did hurt him. So what are you going to do next?"

"I don't know." Raph sighed.

"But you know what you should do, right?"

Raph nodded. "Get back to the lair, apologize, and accept whatever punishment Leo and Master Splinter have decided for me."

"Exactly." April said. "Think you can handle that?"

"Not yet."

"Okay." There was the slightest semblance of a smile on April's face and she reached for his hand. Raph hesitated, but then let her hold his hand, and again, they sat there in silence.

The light in the toolshed became less and less until the sun had finally lost its fight to the moon, and darkness, only lightened a bit by the silver light of the moon, surrounded them.

"What is it that we're both giving Donnie such a hard time?" Raph asked with a sigh, and it made April flinch a little.

"Huh?" She turned her head into his direction, her eyes widened by surprise.

"Oh, come on!" Raph replied, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "Don't you think I haven't realized? You avoid him, you barely talk to him, you try to shut him out as well as you can. And same goes for me."

"Do you know why you're doing it?"

Raph shrugged. "Because I'm worried. Area M is a dangerous place and he was safe as long as he was staying away. But he didn't have anything better to do than to come back here. And I hate that he's worried about me because…well, because he's worried." He turned to look at April. "What reason do you have?"

April avoided his eyes and stared back into the darkness.

"I don't know," she finally said.

"Well, then you better find out and put an end to it," Raph told her. "I don't think Donnie can deal any longer with two family members avoiding him, and I am his brother and I know him longer than you do, so I have the older rights."

He playfully punched her upper arm, and April replied with a giggle.

And then they sat there in silence again, waiting for Raph to be ready to go back home, even if this meant sitting in a dark and cold toolshed all night. April wouldn't go anywhere without Raph now. And neither would Raph go anywhere without her. And so they waited.

* * *

In another dark and cold place, deep down in the sewers, something else was sick of waiting. It had waited for what seemed like ages. Last time the creature had been up in the lair, it had been so close to what belonged to it, but the invisible wall hadn't broken down, no matter how hard it had banged against it, but it felt that for the first time, the wall had gotten the tiniest crack.

The creature had waited and waited, but instead of fading, the buzzing sound of electricity had increased over the last time, and now the creature felt like it would never be able to get close to its possession. It had started to send out some of its bodies, searching for a way to shut down the buzzing sound, but none of its bodies had succeeded. The best they could have managed had been making the buzzing sound a bit more silent, but as long as there was this buzzing sound, there still was too much light up there.

But the creature would keep trying and trying until there was darkness in the lair again, and then it would make its next move on its way to get back what was its, trying and waiting and trying and waiting, until finally, it would succeed.


	14. The Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their way back to the lair, Raph and April are attacked.

"Donnie, are you okay?" Leo asked again as he and Mikey had brought Donnie to his room and his brother had sat down on his bed.

"Yes, Leo," Donnie replied. "Just a few minor bruises, nothing serious. My shell absorbed most of the impact."

Leo nodded. "Okay. So do you mind telling us what happened?"

Donnie looked at Leo with a frown. What exactly could he tell him? Was it really wise to bring Raph's Shark Tooth-addiction up right now when they had so many other things to worry about, like Karai or… Okay, what else was there they had to worry about? Raph had taken off and maybe he did something really stupid, so maybe it _really_ was wise to bring that topic up right now.

"Donnie?" There was this leader-ring to Leo's voice, and Donnie knew he wouldn't accept anything else but the truth. And Donnie couldn't think of a believable version of the truth at the moment. If Raph got angry, he was scary, yes, and he sometimes hit his brothers, agreed, but he never tried to hurt them seriously. And that was exactly what he had tried today.

"I…uhm…," Donnie fumbled for words. What was the best way to start this conversation?

"Donnie!"

_Yes, leader-voice, definitely_ , Donnie thought, but there was something else in it, something like pleading, and it showed him how worried Leo must be.

Donnie took a deep breath and lowered his eyes. "Okay, well, it's like this…"

But when he looked up again, he found Splinter standing in the door and looking at him, and he stopped again.

Mikey and Leo followed Donnie's gaze.

"Don't mind me," Splinter said. "I want to know what is going on here as well. So please, Donatello, proceed."

Donnie nodded and Mikey and Leo turned back to him. He took another deep breath.

_Gosh, this is hard!_

"I really don't know how to start this," he admitted. "It's…uhm…I…Raph…"

Where should he begin? With Raph's liking of Shark Tooth? With how Raph had thrown him through the closed door? With his attempt of trying to help Raph? With a short summary of the history of drugs? Where to begin!?

He glanced around the room as if the right words were written on a wall. "I…I…"

Splinter nodded slightly as if he knew what was going on and walked over to his son. He sat down on the bed next to him and placed a calming hand on Donnie's shoulders.

"Close your eyes, my son," he ordered and Donnie obeyed.

"Now take a deep breath." Donnie obeyed again.

"And now, my son, talk."

There was a moment of silence, but then Donnie finally found the words and started talking.

"A few days ago when I wanted to get some more Shark Tooth-samples, I found out that Raph takes Shark Tooth every now and then. I didn't know what to do because we were all so busy with the near strike against Rahzar and the new Shark Tooth-shipment, and Raph seemed okay and sober the next day. And I thought that somehow I didn't have to bother you with this because you are all going through so much already with…Karai and such. So I thought I could handle this alone, and that was what I tried here. I tried to talk to him, I told him that I could create a substitute if he needed one and that I wanted to help him. It leaded to him throwing me through the closed door."

He opened his eyes again and looked at his brothers and his sensei. "Maybe I should have told you sooner, but I thought I could do this alone."

"You…you thought that…" Leo stammered. His eyes were wide open, and he was clearly shocked by what he had just learned. But he found his voice again pretty quickly.

"Raph is taking Shark Tooth and you don't think that maybe his family should know!? And even worse, he did that before a mission! He could have gotten us all killed!"

"He was fine in the morning, Leo, and he said he never takes Shark Tooth before a mission, making sure that it wouldn't affect him."

"Yeah, sure, Donnie, I bet he told you the truth," Leo replied sarcastically. "Because that's what addicts always do when it comes to their addiction – tell the truth!"

"Leo…," Donnie tried.

"Seriously, Donnie, what were you thinking!?" Leo glared at his brother. "Of course you should have told us SOONER!"

Donnie flinched a little at the sudden increase of volume in Leo's voice, but he should have seen that one coming. Why on earth would Leo stay calm and reasonable when he had just found out that one of his brothers had a drug problem?

"Leonardo!" Splinter said to his son. "Calm down!"

"S-sensei, I can't calm down right now!" Leo called out and paced up and down the room. Raph's an addict, Karai is still not believing the truth. I…I don't know how to cope with this! What are we going to do now? What should we do with Raph? What…" He stopped abruptly, turned to Splinter, holding his sensei's steady and calm gaze. Leo nodded and then he bowed to his sensei.

"Sensei, I am asking for a day off to clear my mind," he said.

Splinter nodded. "I agree, Leonardo."

Leo straightened up again and left the room.

Donnie watched him leave with a confused look on his face.

"Donatello," Splinter addressed him. "I thank you for telling us what is going on with Raphael and I appreciate that you wanted to solve this problem all by yourself without bothering us. But we are a family, Donatello, and nothing that concerns the people dear to us is considered a bother. So please, next time, talk to us right away."

Donnie nodded. "Hai sensei."

Splinter smiled at him warmly, got back to his feet and left the room.

Donnie looked over to Mikey who was still standing there with is mouth wide open.

"Mikey?" he asked with a frown.

"I can't believe Raph took Shark Tooth!" Mikey finally said, snapping out of his trance. "What…what are we doing now? I mean, that's…that's awful!"

Donnie looked at him sympathetically. "I don't know, Mikey, but we are going to figure something out. We are a family, remember?"

Mikey replied with a nod.

"But could you please tell me what's Leo doing?"

"He's taking a day off," Mikey replied.

"I heard that!" Donnie said with a roll of his eyes. "But what does this mean?"

"It means that Leo won't be at the lair for a day, that he's taking his time to think things through. He does that every once in a while. We have this agreement, you know. Whenever things get too hard for Leo, he takes a day off. We won't go on missions or patrols on these days, and when he comes back, everything's back to normal. Only happened a few times so far, though."

"I see," Donnie said. That made sense. Things had taken a turn for the worse ever since the Day, the mutation of New York City, and Leo was trying so hard to keep things at the most normal level, so of course he would need some time for him alone every now and then to not break under this pressure.

"And where's he going?" Donnie asked after a moment of silence.

"His haven."

* * *

The bell over the entrance of Murakami's shop gave a metallic sound when Leo entered and the mutant couldn't help, but wonder how Murakami had managed to keep his place so close to what it had been before the Day in all these years. There still was the counter with the kitchen in the middle of the room, there still were the bar stools, and there still was Murakami, standing there, wearing dark glasses and his apron and smiling at his new customer although Leo was pretty sure, the blind man had no idea of who it was yet.

"Good evening, Murakami-san," Leo greeted and took a seat on one of the bar stools.

"Leonardo!" Murakami called out, and his smile deepened. "It's nice to have you here!"

"Thank you, Murakami-san. It's nice to be here," Leo admitted. "Would you mind if I stayed here over night?"

"Of course not!" Murakami said. "I love to have you around. Now, let me prepare you a meal. I made a really good soup today with all the groceries I got from your friend Casey, but I need to add some extras for my special friend."

"Thank you," Leo said with a smile.

And with that Mr. Murakami started rummaging the kitchen units.

"So, how's your business going, Murakami-san?" Leo asked.

Murakami chuckled. "After all these years I am still not used to get paid in groceries or clothes or firewood. Yesterday a man showed up and asked for a meal in exchange for repairing the hole in the roof. It was a fair offer, so I agreed. But barter trade is difficult."

Leo gave a little laugh. "I can imagine, but I'm pretty sure that you figured it out just fine. You are a business man after all, Murakami-san."

"I guess I am," Murakami replied and placed a steaming bowl in front of Leo. "Now you eat, while I do the dishes."

Leo knew that the old man must have realized that something was wrong. Leo only came here alone when he needed time to think. And whatever Murakami thought of that, he never asked what was going on. He just prepared Leo a meal and gave him the time he needed – time to think things through or to talk if he wanted to.

And Leo appreciated it.

"Thanks, Murakami-san."

"You are most welcome, Leonardo."

* * *

The creature from deep down the sewer tunnels had sent out a few of its bodies to look if the electricity and the security system at and around the lair were still intact. And from what its bodies had experienced, yes, they were. But it didn't matter any longer.

One of its bodies had seen its possession, it had smelled the special scent only its possession radiated.

All these years, the creature had never set one of its hundreds eyes on its possession, and now it was just walking through the tunnels, only accompanied by one of this green mutants.

And after having been so close during last time's total blackout, the creature couldn't hold back any longer.

Its possession was there, within reach! It was night, it was as dark as it could be down the tunnels, and if it could reach its possession before it entered the lair with its dangerous, dangerous lights, the chances were good that it finally could take it back again.

And with that one thought, its hundreds of bodies started moving.

* * *

April and Raph had walked through the sewer tunnels for a few minutes now, when Raph finally realized that they really were on their way back to the lair and what this meant to him. It had taken him half the night to finally muster up the strength to get to his feet. April had waited with him, holding his hand, without saying a word, and Raph just realized that it had been exactly what he had needed.

He sighed. The others probably knew everything by now. Donnie must have told them, Raph was sure about it. So they all knew now – all, except for April. And after she had come after him, had waited with him all this time, Raph thought that she deserved the truth. And even more, she deserved to hear the truth from him.

He stopped and April came to an abrupt halt as well.

Raph frowned at the short, gentle tug on his hand and looked down. And then he realized what had caused that tug and April's abrupt halt – they were holding hands again. He remembered that he had let go of her hand when he had gotten back to his feet, so he was kind of surprised to find out that somehow they must have reached for each other's hand again while walking down the tunnels.

"Oh," he made, gently shaking his hand free.

And then he was staring at the ground again, shifting his weight uneasily.

"Yes, Raph?" April asked, looking at him with questioning eyes.

"I…uhm…well…you…uhm…I…I want to tell you what happened with Donnie," he stammered.

"Raph, you already told me, you said it was because he was worried about you which I can totally relate to, you know," April said.

Raph gave an insecure chuckle. "Yeah, that…that was _a_ reason, yes, but it wasn't the _main_ reason."

"Uhm…okay."

"And I-I want you to hear the main reason from me before the others tell you," Raph went on. "Donnie must have told them by now, but I want you to hear it from me."

"Raph, you don't have to…"

"Yes, I have!" Raph interrupted her and raised his eyes to meet hers. "Or…or rather I want to. So, well…uhm…here goes nothing." He took a deep breath and lowered his eyes to the ground again.

They stood there in silence and just when April thought of telling him again that he didn't have to say anything if it didn't feel right, Raph straightened again.

"It is because I take some Shark Tooth every now and then," he said.

April gasped for air. _What!?_

"I-I never do it when we have an important mission, o-only when the burden gets too heavy," Raph added quickly. "And it always helped, and I never thought of myself as an addict, just as someone who needed a little special cheering up every now and then. But Donnie found out, and then he kept looking at me with these worried eyes which made me even angrier, and I really longed for some Shark Tooth. But all our Shark Tooth was locked away, so I went topside to get some from an addict, and it knocked me out for a day. But heck, it felt good to just forget! And then I got so angry again because of Karai and Leo's dumbness, and I really needed Shark Tooth again. Donnie realized and followed me to my room. And he offered his help with these worried eyes and reached out for me, and then I…well, you know."

He raised his eyes and looked at April. "I'm sorry."

_Whack!_

The next thing, Raph knew was that his head was turned to the side and his cheek was burning where April's hand had hit him. He waited for his anger to rise again like it usually did when he was hit, but there was nothing, only a numb feeling.

He stared at April with wide eyes.

"That was for being so stupid to take Shark Tooth when instead you could have talked to me to make your burden a bit less heavy!" April yelled.

Raph replied with a blink.

And then his eyes grew even wider as April wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug.

"And that is to make it all a little easier for you, to show you that you are not alone," April mumbled. "You are _not_ alone, Raph!"

And before Raph even realized what he was doing he had wrapped his arms around April as well and hugged her back.

"I am sorry," he repeated.

"I know, Raph."

And for a moment, they were just standing there, but then, Raph heard it. Shrill shrieking in hundreds of voices, and the thudding noise of something approaching them, something big.

He pushed April away and reached for his sais, but something grabbed him from behind and blocked his view. He tried to shake it off, to listen how to attack the best way, but the shrieking made it impossible. He could feel how something pushed past him, again and again and again. He punched out of luck, and he managed to hit something, something wobbly, but it didn't make any change. The pushing went on, and whatever had wrapped around his neck and was blocking his view, didn't let go either.

And he could hear April scream, her screams standing out from all the shrieking, but then her screams were muffled as if something was covering her mouth, and the shrieks got louder and louder, until all he wanted to do was cover his ears, but then the pushing was gone, and the shrieking went more silent until finally whatever was blocking his view set him free again. But as soon as it had done that, it was gone, and Raph was left in the tunnel, panting for air.

He looked for April, but realized that he was alone. April was gone, and this wobbly, creepy creature with her.

And then it hit him.

_APRIL WAS GONE!_

* * *

Raph rushed through the turnstiles, stumbling inside. He was panting for air, and his eyes darted around to find someone, but the living area was empty.

"S-Sensei!" he called out. "Leo! Someone! Anyone!"

His feet felt like they were weighing a ton, his whole body felt like it was weighing a ton, and suddenly, he couldn't keep himself straight any longer and slid to his knees.

"Sensei!" he called out again.

And after what felt like ages, but probably only was a few seconds Splinter entered the lair with Donnie and Mikey following him.

"Raphael?" he asked and rushed to his son when he found him on his knees and panting for air. "What happened?"

"It…attacked," Raph gasped. "And it…took April. I…I couldn't do anything! I'm…I'm sorry!" He buried his face in his hands, trying really hard to fight back his tears. "A…April's gone!"

"What!?" It was Donnie who called that out. "Where?"

"I…I don't know. I couldn't see anything. It was there, this wobbly, shrieking thing, and it took April!"

He took his hands from his face when he was sure that he had been successful to fight back his tears, but they were glistening in his eyes nonetheless. "I…I…"

Splinter placed a calming hand on Raph's shoulder before he turned to Mikey.

"Michelangelo, go get Leonardo," Splinter demanded.

Mikey replied with a nod and rushed out of the lair.

* * *

Murakami's restaurant was long closed and dark, and Leo had already moved to the mattress on the floor in the back of the shop, Murakami always spread out for him when he was on one of his days off. He was lying there and staring into the darkness.

But then he heard a knock on glass, and he automatically reached for his katanas. But he relaxed a little when the knock was accompanied by someone calling his name. He looked over to the door and saw Mikey standing there, and immediately, Leo tensed up again.

If one of his brothers was showing up here during Leo's day off, something was very, very wrong.

He quickly got to his feet and walked over the door.

His muscles tensed even a little more in anticipation when he saw the shocked and haunted look on Mikey's face, and he couldn't open the door fast enough.

"Mikey, wh…?"

"It's April, Leo!" Mikey interrupted him. "She's gone!"


	15. Her Abilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April comes to know what the creepy creature that has kidnapped her really is.

April felt like she was drowning. There was all this wobbly mass around her, a moving, breathing wave that took her with it. She cried out, but her voice was muffled by the moving bodies around her.

Panic rose within her. There was nothing she could hold on to, everything that could give her the littlest bit of support was gone. She had lost contact to Raph a while ago, and even her tessen had slipped from her grasp. She was alone.

Suddenly the wobbly mass around her stopped, and April finally felt solid ground beneath her and she sank to her hands and knees.

She panted for air. She tried to look around her, but that moment, a terrible headache took over her body and she squeezed her eyes shut. But this headache was familiar, she knew that pain, she knew it all too well.

* * *

When Leo and Mikey entered the lair, they found Splinter, Raph, and Donnie in the living room.

Raph was sitting on the couch with Splinter next to him.

Mikey and Leo exchanged a look and walked over to them.

Splinter greeted them with a nod. Raph had lowered his gaze and didn't even lift his head, but Leo was sure that Raph had heard them. Donnie nodded to them as well. He was just standing there with his arms over his chest. But his hands were simply clenched to his upper arms which made Leo realize how tensed Donnie actually was.

"What's the status?" Leo asked.

"We are trying to reconstruct what has happened based on Raph's memories," Donnie explained. "If Raph can remember."

"You have no idea how hard this is!" Raph called out. "I'm trying, okay?"

"Calm down, Raphael," Splinter said to his son. "And now concentrate. Where did this creature take April?"

Raph rubbed his temples. "Something blocked my view and I heard April cry out and…and…I don't know!"

"Raphael, deep breaths," Splinter said. "You need to calm down."

"I…I can't calm down, sensei!" Raph called out. "This thing has April!"

"And this is why you need to calm down," Splinter said. "We need to know where it took April. The sewers are too spacious that we can go on sheer luck."

"I…I… can't!"

Donnie was shifting his weight uneasily, tapping his fingers impatiently on his upper arms before he unfolded his arms with an exasperated sigh and reached for something that was tucked under his belt.

"Will that help you to calm down?" he asked and held something out to Raph.

Raph lifted his head and looked first at Donnie, then at the pill resting in Donnie's palm, then back at Donnie.

"Shark Tooth, Donnie?" he asked, jumping to his feet and glaring at Donnie angrily. "Have you _totally_ lost it!?"

"I thought it would help you!" Donnie defended himself just as angrily. "We have to find April and if you need Shark Tooth to calm down, then you should have it! We can deal with the effects later!"

"This thing will calm me down for sure!" Raph yelled back. "But it wouldn't help me remember anything! It lets you see colors and makes you happy, and most importantly: it makes you forget!"

"Well, you're the expert on drugs!" Donnie replied, putting all his anger on Raph because he had lost April into his voice.

Raph's eyes widened for a moment and his jaw dropped, but then he pressed his jaw into a hard line. He felt the anger again, all this anger, his vision started to redden and he clenched his fists. But before he could lift his arm to punch Donnie, Splinter stopped him.

"My sons!" Splinter called out and his voice had this strict ring to it that made Raph loosen his fists immediately.

"Donatello, put this unfortunate pill away," Splinter demanded, and Donnie obeyed immediately. "And you Raphael, sit down again."

Raph hesitated, still glaring at Donnie.

"Raphael!" Splinter called out which made Raph flinch and sit down right away.

"Now close your eyes, Rapahel," Splinter said gently and placed a calming hand on Raph's shoulder. Raph obeyed. "Now take a deep breath." Raph obeyed again. "And now think of what has happened. You and April were in the tunnels, then this creature attacked. It grabbed April."

"No," Raph mumbled. "It was more than one creature. They were small and wobbly. And…and all these bodies were pushing past me. I could feel them scrap my legs. They were…they were headed to the tunnels behind me."

He opened his eyes again and looked at Splinter.

"Very good, my son," Splinter said with a smile, patting Raph's shoulder. "Now we'll have to check where these creatures' hideout could be."

"Leo, you still got the maps from the sewer system?" Donnie asked.

Leo nodded. "We have them all in the lab and work with them regularly, add some new routes or mark which tunnels have caved in when we find some."

The four brothers looked at each other and then they all went over to the lab.

* * *

Karai sat up as much as her bounds allowed it. The day she had started to be able to move a little bit again, Donatello had tied her to her sick bed. But she was okay with it. These stupid bounds wouldn't be able to hold her when it was time to strike.

It just wasn't time to strike yet.

She frowned a bit when she saw the four turtles enter the lab. Leo was the first in the row and she smirked.

"Leo, a surprise party? For me?" she asked all too sweetly. "Awwwww, you shouldn't have!"

Leo simply ignored her, as did the others, as Leo went to the back of the lab to get the maps they needed.

Karai looked back and forth between them, an amused look on her face. Oh, they all looked so worried, this was going to be fun!

"Where's O'Neil?" she asked when she found the redhead missing. And quickly putting two and two together, she assumed that their worried looks must have something to do with the fact that Miss Perfect wasn't here. "Didn't she get the invitation?" She craned her neck to look into Leo's direction. "Leo, I told you you can't rely on mailing!"

They still did their best to ignore her, but they sure were starting to get annoyed with her, Karai could tell.

So why not go on with it? She had nothing to lose.

"Michelangelo, be a darling and get her, will you?" she addressed the youngest turtle, the one she thought would be easiest to cave in. "I don't want her to feel left out."

Mikey flinched a little, a fact that almost made her laugh out loud in triumph. But she had an act to keep together, so she choked the waiting laughter in her chest.

"So?" she said after a few seconds. "Do you want April to feel left out? Now that's not very nice!"

Mikey flinched again, and the smirk on her face deepened when he started talking.

"Shut up, Karai!" he called out. "I never want April to feel left out! She's gone!"

"Gone? At the day of my surprise party?" Karai asked sweetly. "That's not very polite."

"She was taken by the creature, you stupid bitch!" Mikey yelled.

Karai knew what her next step should have been, but she was too amused by the fact that Mikey had used a curse word – and even more importantly, April O'Neil was gone! Oh, this was too rich!

The held-back laughter in her chest started rumbling again, and she couldn't fight it back any longer. She simply burst into laughter, and she was still laughing when Leo returned from the back of the lab with all the maps he could find.

Her outburst earned her a hurt and angry look from Mikey and questioning and annoyed looks from the other turtles, and it took her a while to calm down enough to launch another blow at them.

"Gone? Taken by a creature?" The sweetness had disappeared from her voice, but she was still smirking. "Now that bitch finally got what she deserved."

"Shut up!" Donnie cried out and if it hadn't been for Raph to hold him back he would have lunged for her. He was still trying, though, and it took Raph some strength to not lose hold of him.

For a moment he even pondered of just letting go of Donnie, so Karai would get what she deserved, but he rethought that. Now was not the time. They had to find April!

"Get her out of here, Leo!" Donnie called over to his brother. "Get her out, or I swear I have no idea what I am going to do to her!"

Karai was just sitting there and chuckling. Yes, this was fun.

Leo just walked over to her bed, removing her bounds, and then he took her in his arms and marched out of the lab.

* * *

When he had reached his room, he let her slump down on his bed, not completely ungentle, but still not very gentle either, so her wound protested against the movement with little jolt of pain.

Karai squeezed her eyes shut because of that for a moment. Then she felt how Leo grabbed her wrists, and when she opened her eyes, she realized he was tying her wrists to the headboard of his bed.

She smirked.

"Seriously, Leo," she purred, "I thought if you'd ever tie me to a bed, it would be a little more …hmmmm… _sexy_."

Leo froze for a split second, and Karai replied to that with a soft chuckle, but then he just continued his task, got back up and left the room.

Karai watched him leave, a broad grin on her face.

* * *

April was cowering on the cold concrete, her back leaning against the damp wall, and pressed her hands against her temples in an attempt to somehow shield her mind from these hundreds of voices that tried to take over, that made her head hurt like crazy.

_Kraang!_

There it was again, this word. She had heard it during all these nights when they had locked themselves away in the lab, although she had always forgotten about it in the morning, being too exhausted by the invisible blows on her mind and the pain in her head.

_Kraang!_

But now she could hear it all too clearly, she could remember all too clearly. How could she have forgotten!?

This creepy, light-avoiding creature, it was the Kraang. It had always been the Kraang! But she had forgotten, each and every morning, as if the creature had taken all her memories of the night with it in the morning.

Maybe her brain hadn't been able to cope with the Kraang being back, that after all these years the Kraang still tried to mess with her.

But why hadn't she been able to remember? Her anger, her guilty conscience, they had always longed for the Kraang. _She_ had always longed for the Kraang! For her revenge, for making them pay for what they had done to New York City, what they had done to her!

And still, she had always forgotten about it in the morning, her mind completely blank after this painful headache that felt like it was tearing her head apart, all this exhaustion letting her fall into a dreamless sleep as soon as possible.

All these years she hadn't been able to channel her anger, to turn her fury on the ones that were responsible for this! So all she had been able to do, had been being angry with herself. And now that!

It had always been the Kraang!

She felt the dark and hot anger build in her stomach, fighting its way up her body. All this anger that had been locked away, that had been stifled all these years.

It had always been the Kraang!

_KRAANG!_

April cried out as this last blow against her mind sent a jolt of pain through her head and the rest of her body.

_Kraang has gotten back what had always belonged to Kraang!_

I've never been yours!

_April O'Neil has always been Kraang's. April O'Neil had been Kraang's long before April O'Neil had been born. April O'Neil is Kraang's!_

No, you're wrong!

_Kraang is right. And now Kraang will get back Kraang's old strength with April O'Neil's help._

I'll never help you!

_April O'Neil doesn't need to help. April O'Neil only needs to break!_

April cried out again, the pain making her tremble. She tried to gather what had been left of her strength and shield it from the creature. She needed some strength, she needed a bit of her mind left to be able to reach out for the one brother that maybe would be able to hear her unhearable cry for help.

* * *

When Leo was back in the lab he found his brothers bent over the plans of the sewer system.

He joined them silently, but from the little side glance Raph gave him, he knew that his brother had been worried. But Leo put on a straight face and examined the map.

"You said they were more than one?" Donnie asked.

"Hundreds!" Raph confirmed.

"Some kind of a swarm?"

"I guess you could put it that way."

"Then they might need a nest, one that's big enough for all of them," Donnie said. "Where exactly did they attack you?"

"Here," Raph explained, pointing at a map. "I was standing here, facing them. They came from here, grabbed April and disappeared in the tunnel behind me."

"Are there any places that could serve as their nest?" Leo asked.

"Too many, I'm afraid," Donnie said. "Like this tunnel here could be big enough. Or this hall here. Or maybe even this abandoned subway station."

He squeezed his eyes shut, his face becoming a mask of pain.

Leo placed a hand on his shoulder. "We are going to find her."

"But there are too many possibilities!"

At that moment Mikey cringed and looked around him searchingly. Then he looked back at the map.

"There," he said, pointing at a big dead-end tunnel. "She's there."

His voice was so serious and his eyes were glued to the point that his brothers shared worried looks.

"How do you know, Mikey?" Leo asked.

Mikey was still staring at the spot on the map.

"Mikey?" Leo asked again, this time a little louder, and Mikey snapped out of his trance.

"I-I dunno, Leo," he said. "I thought I heard April calling me, and when I looked back on the map this place somehow stood out from the rest."

Raph groaned. "Yeah, sure, like April told you, right?"

"What if she did?" Mikey asked in a hurt voice. "We know she can do a lot of things we don't understand."

"But why would she call for you?"

"Why wouldn't she?" Mikey bit his lip, the hurt look on his face deepening. Was Raph really thinking he was that weak? Or maybe he thought that Mikey would never do something right and was expandable, just like Karai had told him "Or-or maybe I'm the only one that heard her because you are too busy discussing things!"

Leo placed a hand on Mikey's shoulder. "Mikey, I don't say you made this up, but what if you're wrong?"

Mikey took a deep breath and looked at his brothers with serious eyes, too serious eyes for him who usually had that little rest of cheerfulness in his eyes he had been able to save all these years. But there was only seriousness there now.

"Leo," he said sternly, "what if I'm right?"

* * *

Casey was lying in his bed, but he was trying really hard to get up. He was so tired of lying around in the darkness. He was pretty sure that he was a lot better, and he really needed to get up, to try to walk, and maybe even see a little light. How long has he been here? A week? Two weeks? A month!? He didn't know. He had to ask Hope about it, he thought as he pushed himself into a sitting position. He put his feet on the floor, grabbed the bedhead for support and stood up.

His knees had never felt wobblier before, but hey, he was standing! He was standing! A big grin appeared on his face. This was awesome!

The door of his room was opened, and he nearly toppled over, but he managed to keep his balance.

"Look, Hope!" he said cheerfully. "I can stand! I'm doing so much better! I bet I can walk again, too!" And with that he let go of the bedhead and tried to walk a step.

Hope inhaled sharply and rushed over to Casey, letting go of the bowl she had been carrying in the process which landed on the floor with a loud clank followed by a splosh.

She quickly placed both hands on Casey's shoulders and pushed him back on the mattress.

With a frown Casey obeyed and sat down on the bed again.

He could literally feel how Hope looked at him with wide eyes, plus she was panting for air.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked as he lay back again. "I thought you'd be happy that I'm doing better."

"Don't… _ever_ …do this again!" she said. Her voice was not the usual whisper, but a little louder, although still distorted by her gasps for air. But Casey's frown deepened nonetheless.

_That voice…_

But before he could place the ring of her voice, before he could compare her voice to the voices he knew, she spoke up again, this time her voice was just a whisper again, like it usually was.

"I am sorry, Casey," she said silently. "You could have gotten yourself hurt even more. Please don't do that again."

"But I'm so tired of this dark room and of lying around!" Casey replied. "How about some light? Or maybe we can go for a little walk. If you support me, I should be able to manage a few steps. Please, Hope!"

Hope took a deep breath. "I am sorry, Casey. I don't dare to do one of these things without consulting our medic first."

"Okay. Could you consult him, then? Please!"

"Later," Hope said. "First, you need to eat your porridge – I'll get you another bowl of nice, delicious porridge."

Casey nodded, and Hope quickly left the room again.

Casey watched her leave, and minutes later, Hope was back with another bowl of porridge and started feeding him again. And as usual, eating his porridge made him sleepy.

_Funny!_ , he thought. _I can get back to my feet without my breath accelerating the tiniest bit, but eating porridge knocks me out?_

But before he could engross this thought, he was drifting off to sleep.

* * *

He woke up with a yawn, but when he tried to hold his hand in front of his mouth, like a more or less polite young man would do, he realized he couldn't move his arms. When he tried again, he could feel the bounds around his wrists.

_They tied me to the bed again!?_ , he thought, his eyes widening in shock.

He looked around the room and found an all too familiar figure standing next to his bed.

"Hope, what's going on here?" he asked. "Why am I bound again?"

"I am sorry, Casey, but we decided it's the best for you," she explained in her whispery voice. "You could hurt yourself otherwise."

"Wh-what!?" he called. "I thought I was your guest!"

"You still are our guest, Casey," Hope replied. "But sometimes even guests need to be forced to do what's good for them."

And with that she turned around and walked to the door.

"What?" Casey cried out. "Let me go! Let me go this instant! Did you hear me, Hope? HOPE!"


End file.
